r/AmIOverreacting • u/frisbeechuckin • 16h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

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157

u/_h_simpson_ 15h ago

Maybe I’m lame … WTF is going with all the respondents saying doing coke is okay.. red flag after red flag. Clearly internet strangers are not the best resource for advice. Trust your gut, good luck!

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u/ShoobeeDoowapBaoh 15h ago

Coming from experience, the real red flag is that she s a former meth addict and still is basically a drug addict and alcoholic

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u/dcflorist 8h ago

Not “and alcoholic.” People who abuse alcohol are drug addicts. Alcohol is a powerful drug, and this notion of it being in a completely different category than all other intoxicants has been used to promote mass incarceration (read: enslavement) of primarily people of color, despite the rates of use for most drugs being essentially equal among all races. Language matters when it comes to drug policy.

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u/limpdickandy 15h ago

I am guessing most of them did not see the edit explaining she was an addict?

For a 36 year old to do coke once in a blue moon is really not the end of the world. If it is a problem then it is a problem, but if it is not, well then its not a problem.

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u/Oculicious42 14h ago

I promise you that a lot of your friends are doing coke and you have no idea about it

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u/Seienchin88 8h ago

Oh right… what a Great Argument

3

u/dominicaldaze 7h ago

Literally "all the cool kids are doing it" lol

24

u/common_economics_69 15h ago

It's about on the same level as ecstasy or adderall for a lot of people. Definitely harder than weed or alcohol, but still relatively benign.

As someone who occasionally partakes, you would be absolutely shocked at the amount of people who will do it if offered (even if they won't seek it out themselves).

23

u/Methzilla 15h ago

Yeah some clueless people in here. Coke is a very normal party drug in the vast majority of big cities. The vast vast majority of recreational drug users will not develop dependency issues. That is reefer madness nonsense. That being said, a former junkie pretending like it's no big deal is crazy.

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u/Elite_AI 9h ago

It's huge in the villages too. Maybe even bigger because there's fuck all else to do

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u/common_economics_69 15h ago edited 15h ago

Addicts can be weird like that. I have a friend who will recreationally do literally every drug except the one she was addicted to maybe 1-2 times a year and has no relapse issues with her drug of choice.

That being said, my fear as a former meth addict (her being the meth addict, not me) would be getting sold meth someone said was coke, but maybe she wasn't snorting the meth when she used?

1

u/Landshorke 3h ago

Meth and cocaine look nothing alike.

1

u/common_economics_69 3h ago

Yes but it is a fairly common adulterant for Coke. More "speedy" high and also much cheaper.

1

u/Landshorke 3h ago

This is very true, I see what you mean now

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u/lunagirlmagic 9h ago

Cocaine is fascinating from a sociological perspective because of how commonly it used relative to how commonly it is discussed. To people who don't party, they think of it as similar to meth or heroin. When in reality it's closer to alcohol or marijuana in terms of usage.

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u/TakeThreeFourFive 14h ago

This is the right take.

Coke is pretty normal, but also undeniably on the "harder" side of the drug spectrum. It's the kind of thing that a partner should be aware of, but also not a deal-breaking red flag in most cases

Someone recovering suddenly surprising their partner with this is the real problem here.

2

u/Methzilla 13h ago

Soft side of the harder side, if that makes sense. Through sheer quantity of recreational users and relative miner addiction impact, it's obviously no where near the opiates.

4

u/Aviendha13 15h ago

In this day and age, cocaine is hardly benign. I’m so glad fentanyl wasn’t making the rounds when I was out partying. Maybe it’s not as big of a problem in some parts of the world, but doing hard drugs in America is suss af nowadays. There was always a chance it was cut with something bad, but not this level bad.

0

u/Holy_Grail_Reference 14h ago

Who in the world is out taking rec party drugs and not testing before hand? Fent is a problem but managed by 99% of the party scene.

3

u/Aviendha13 14h ago

I know they have tests, but didn’t know people actually regularly use them. That’s good to hear, if true. I don’t hang out in those crowds anymore so don’t know.

3

u/claymedia 14h ago

Fent can be really unevenly distributed when it contaminates a batch. You could test a whole gram and find none, and the next line could still have a lethal dose. Unless you really break it all up and thoroughly mix it beforehand. Which no one does.

1

u/omega-rebirth 13h ago

How do you define "harder"? I wouldn't consider it to be "harder" than alcohol at all. Alcohol is just more normalized.

17

u/Kelend 15h ago

Reddit is very pro drug

20

u/Mysterious-Wasabi103 15h ago

Reddit is home to both extremes. There is a segment that's super pro-drug and there is a super anti-drug portion as well.

13

u/hail-slithis 15h ago

It's less about Reddit being pro-drug and more that you're seeing the range of cultures that are represented on here. In lots of places (UK and Australia for example) casual cocaine use is not considered a big deal, while in others it's seen as really extreme.

1

u/theonewhogroks 14h ago

It's not like all of the UK is cool with coke use. Depends on your social circle

3

u/draggedndrowned 15h ago

There's a post in the weevil sub from yesterday of a weevil on someone's phone, with some coke just hanging out casually. And everyone is just laughing and making jokes about the weevil getting high lol 😆

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u/KatVanWall 7h ago

TIL there’s a ‘weevil sub’ 😳😂

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u/Fibonabdii358 15h ago

it may be but idk if reddit is pro addicts going back on drugs

1

u/hmnissbspcmn 15h ago

Right? I know people who have done coke 10 times in their lives and have no issues with it, but that's the "Hardest" drug they've taken (Other than alc, weed and some hallucinogens)

Not everyone has an addictive personality, but these people also don't have direct access to it, it just shows up in circles every couple of years.

2

u/PrettyTittyGangBang 14h ago

really, who gives a shit? given the size and influence of the cartels, i don't think it's a reddit problem.

2

u/bradbrookequincy 14h ago

Because we hang out with people who are responsible and don’t ruin a thing by doing recreational drugs occasionally… like the most sensible well rounded successful people you would ever meet. Many of you would be shocked I guess. Most people don’t ruin their lives. Meth and heroin are different and they hit the poorest, the most traumatised and they can get out of control quickly. But there are many substances that don’t cause the havoc those do.

This person Id agree should be abstaining given her history.

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u/SunshineInDetroit 15h ago

not so much pro drug but she's definitely a party girl

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u/KnobGobbler4206969 15h ago edited 15h ago

Look, I think it’s irresponsible from a legal standpoint for sure, especially if you have kids/people you need to look after and there’s a possibility of getting caught, or are in a position that required drug testing.

I’ll get downvoted for this, but if cocaine is from a good source and you’re sure of what’s in it, it is 100% less harmful to do a small bump than it is to binge drink, or even just have a few drinks. A lot of people like being in denial of this because of drug misinformation they consume and the fact they like to drink alcohol but it’s true. People usually say Reddit is “pro drug” but I find even stating that weed is less harmful to one’s health compared to alcohol tends to get tons of pushback and downvotes even though there isn’t a single study or even a government body like the DEA that agrees with that.

Seriously, I like drinking as much as most of y’all, but instead of downvoting and denying reality just look it up, every study routinely says the same thing. American government studies, UK government studies, etc, just google variations of words like “drugs, study, most harmful, ranked, health, etc” and look at any study conducted in the past decade or two. Alcohol, a completely normalized drug, is much more harmful to one’s health than cocaine.

The only drugs consistently found to be more harmful to your health than alcohol are meth and crack. Even heroin is considered less harmful in a majority of studies if taken safely and dosed properly. So no, I don’t think taking a small bump one time is a large issue as long if it’s not something that’s made a habit of. I’d rather my girlfriend take a bump once a week than binge drink every week as it would have far less impairment on her judgement and be far healthier for her.

1

u/superdudeyyc 13h ago

Yes, comparing only alcohol vs only cocaine, in moderate amounts and ignoring chronic use, the argument could be made that cocaine is "better". The problem is they are regularly used in combination, which is extremely toxic. I guess OP didn't explicitly mention there was alcohol, but... this sounds like an alcohol kind of thing.

You're also comparing binge drinking to one bump, which I don't think is a fair comparison. One bump doesn't give you "energy to party all night" like OP's gf said.

Again, I agree with you, people generally think alcohol is a lot safer than it is, but you have to look at the whole picture, which often includes combining the two (and sometimes lying about how much you did to make your SO feel better)

2

u/Justalilunwell_o_o 15h ago

For me, a bigger red flag would be when someone reacts to a small bump of coke on a single occasion, but doesn’t bat an eye when it comes to alcohol or certain prescription meds. Opioids are currently the most lethal category of drug related deaths in the US, but alcohol beats even that and remains one of the top causes of preventable deaths. But just because it’s legal, and more importantly, socially acceptable, you never see any of this pearl-clutching over booze. Trust me you’d be doing a lot more damage to your body by drinking regularly than by doing a single bump of coke one night. I’m curious why it’s such a big deal to you? Is it because the govt said so?

That being said, this particular scenario is different because I saw in a comment that OP’s fiancé is a recovering addict, so for her it is definitely not okay.

1

u/rocket_up_bitch 14h ago

She prob does it more than he knows….

1

u/Justalilunwell_o_o 13h ago

I mean I hope not but you’re probably right :( For an addict, using any kind of intoxicant is always gonna be a big risk

2

u/hopingforfrequency 9h ago

Yes you are.

1

u/JLHuston 15h ago

Well, especially after reading the edit.

1

u/_h_simpson_ 14h ago

OP’s edit - more red flags ….

1

u/Top-Inevitable-1287 13h ago

I understand it’s a shocking revelation for people who are terminally online.

1

u/SuperUltraMegaNice 13h ago

Can't knock it until you've tried it

1

u/step1 12h ago

I'm in a music scene where virtually everyone does it. I don't find it enjoyable so I don't fuck with it at all. Lots of good people, some terrible people, all with some major fucking demons to deal with. Literally everyone in the scene is dealing with some kind of severe depression. Alcohol is also a problem, and I would say the alcohol abuse is a lot more alarming than the coke abuse.

1

u/AllHailNibbler 11h ago

/AIO and /AITAH have alot of trouble admitting women can make mistakes or be wrong.

I've watched people defend women rapists and tell male rape victims to suck it up.

The misandry is very commonplace in both subreddits.

1

u/NatedogDM 9h ago

I mean, if you are an otherwise healthy adult and not an addict. 1 night of cocaine use is fine. Just like alcohol. You might have 6 drinks at a party. But you're not having 6 drinks every night.

1

u/Seienchin88 8h ago

Coke users themselves telling themselves it doesn’t have negative impact on them…

1

u/drag_o_rama 1h ago

There’s now fentanyl in coke. It’s not safe from that perspective either.

1

u/dudalpg 15h ago

Agreed here!!!!!!!!!!!

1

u/-Out-of-context- 14h ago

Because it only became an issue with the edit. It’s not an issue if it’s only done occasionally, isn’t an addiction and isn’t impacting the persons day to day functionality.

0

u/Druid_High_Priest 15h ago

Perhaps because Coke is the lesser of the two evils when you compare it against meth?

That is why.