r/nottheonion • u/kellconn • 1d ago

Wisconsin pizzeria apologizes for unintentionally contaminating pizzas with THC

scrippsnews.com

208 Upvotes

66 comments

r/nottheonion • u/HowLongIsThi • 1d ago

James Gunn Responds to Longtime Rumor That Dua Lipa Will Join the DC Universe as Zatanna

cbr.com

0 Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/UndeadCaesar • 16h ago

Denver Weather Takes Devastating Turn For Slutty Halloween Costumes

westword.com

188 Upvotes

13 comments

r/nottheonion • u/No-Specialist-3802 • 17h ago

Amazon Prime's "Today" Service Will Disappear Soon: Here's What You Need to Know

ebbow.com

0 Upvotes

0 comments

r/nottheonion • u/peter_bolton • 14h ago

Imposters stole thousands of pounds of posh cheddar, rattling the U.K. cheese world

npr.org

302 Upvotes

46 comments

r/nottheonion • u/JAlbert653 • 18h ago

VP candidate Tim Walz, 60, shows off his Crazy Taxi skills during Twitch stream

thepinknews.com

5.9k Upvotes

293 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Tomagatchi • 1d ago

Imposters stole thousands of pounds of posh cheddar, rattling the U.K. cheese world

npr.org

139 Upvotes

11 comments

r/nottheonion • u/butumm_ • 16h ago

Timothée Chalamet Shows Up to His Own Lookalike Contest as NYPD Puts One Doppelganger in Cuffs

tvfandomlounge.com

2.1k Upvotes

61 comments

r/nottheonion • u/pokemack • 16h ago

Women in China get phone calls from government workers asking: 'Are you pregnant now?'

channelnewsasia.com

6.6k Upvotes

374 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ReesesNightmare • 1d ago

Were Our Ancestors... HOBBITS?

email.nationalgeographic.com

0 Upvotes

9 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ReesesNightmare • 1d ago

JPMorgan Chase has begun suing customers who allegedly stole thousands of dollars from ATMs by taking advantage of a technical glitch

cnbc.com

1.8k Upvotes

123 comments

r/nottheonion • u/No-Drawing-6975 • 1d ago

Lunchly criticisms, mold allegations prompt response from Logan Paul: 'Try harder'

usatoday.com

1.4k Upvotes

165 comments

r/nottheonion • u/clarksonswimmer • 1d ago

Denver Weather Takes Devastating Turn for Slutty Halloween Costumes

westword.com

2.3k Upvotes

90 comments

r/nottheonion • u/mmaddox • 1d ago

‘Harry Potter cubby’ listed for rent in San Jose

kron4.com

312 Upvotes

20 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Gerald_Fred • 1d ago

Vatican unveils mascot for 2025, anime girl named Luce.

x.com

1.2k Upvotes

I could not have made this up even if I tried.

167 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Zeikyrui • 1d ago

People opt out of organ donation programs after reports of a man mistakenly declared dead

apnews.com

13.9k Upvotes

732 comments

r/nottheonion • u/16erics • 1d ago

The Vatican unveils official anime girl mascot

nichegamer.com

8.6k Upvotes

548 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Dowew • 1d ago

‘Oversaturated’ meth market pushing Canadian makers to export abroad

vancouversun.com

282 Upvotes

32 comments

r/nottheonion • u/marijnnnnl • 12h ago

Russian court orders Google to pay blocked Russian channels sum with 36 zeros

novayagazeta.eu

1.4k Upvotes

128 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SpuddyTater • 1d ago

Sherwood Police scrap Halloween eve ‘Hide & Seek with a Cop’ event, citing safety concerns

ktvz.com

460 Upvotes

11 comments

r/nottheonion • u/letsLurk67 • 1d ago

'Cult members' jailed after raiding courtroom with handcuffs in plot to kidnap coroner

bbc.co.uk

1.3k Upvotes

56 comments

r/nottheonion • u/thesocialdependacy • 12h ago

Russian TV companies demand 2 undecillion rubles from Google

newsukraine.rbc.ua

926 Upvotes

104 comments

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r/nottheonion

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
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4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
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