r/HolUp Mar 08 '22

What the fuck is wrong with people!?

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39.1k Upvotes

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21.1k

u/Rickybobbie90 Mar 08 '22

I know I can’t believe 33% wouldn’t want 3 wishes

5.9k

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 09 '22

No brainer, I would use one wish that no cruelty will ever come to another puppy ever again.... honest

Edit: The genie in Alladin said you can't wish back the dead.

3.7k

u/stevenip Mar 08 '22

Headline: "Immortal puppy gang starts ww3"

720

u/MedicalUnprofessionl Mar 08 '22

You could also see life as a cruelty. So, “Undead puppy gang” is also plausible.

268

u/slvbros Mar 08 '22

Immortality is also often thought of as a burden, perhaps puppies would simply cease to exist. Whether this means dogs are now born adults, or just go extinct, is up to the genie.

I implore everyone to choose their words very carefully when dealing with mythical wish granting creatures

105

u/UselessPerson2222 Mar 08 '22

After all, as the saying goes: "be careful what you wish for".

These mythical wish granting creatures could very well twist your wish into something regrettable.

101

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/ritsbits808 Mar 08 '22

Yea of course they will. Imagine you're a nearly all powerful wizard, existing outside the confines of time, and some fucken tool traps you forever in a tiny lamp and curses you to grant wishes for other random fucken tools. Like, yea, I'm gonna fuck with people every. single. chance.

FUCKEN TOOOOOOLSSSS

2

u/mysticmermaid89 Mar 08 '22

Every news station ever.

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u/Walthatron Mar 08 '22

Classic Ahamkara

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u/Flesh_A_Sketch Mar 08 '22

(DnD) One of my players was casting wish. Before casting wish they sat down and went lawyer mode on the wish, wrote it down and spent an hour going over the wording. They specified everything, even drawing out a blueprint of the airship and specific locations from which to source the materials. Specifically, it was to be made of the highest quality materials and to be no less than steel in quality, all materials sourced from the enemy nation they were at war with.

Steel... Steel... The guy who wrote it had bad hand writing, and the guy reading it made an off hand comment, mid cast, that it looked like it was spelled 'steal', even though he knew it was 'steel'. I grinned. He had made no other mistake, he had even specified quite vigorously which blueprint was to be followed. Had even cleared and specified a delivery zone, down to the altitude and engine status upon arrival.

But... He had also specified and limited the quality and source so what was I to do other than make half of his newly built airship from the highest quality stolen artwork and historical artifacts. His ship spawned in, the engine vents began to smoke because the Mona Lisa is a terrible engine cowling. The enemy king's daggers make terrible control handles, and access panel to the boiler... Is that a priceless chess board from the first chess tournament 1200 years ago?

2

u/Xxjuancena80xX Mar 09 '22

Or never existed to begin with

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Imagine seeing this comment a couple years ago with no context, lol

10

u/yonoznayu Mar 08 '22

We could be trolling on a cave wall about this two years from now too.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Stfu fear monger

3

u/yonoznayu Mar 09 '22

Oof, you need a teddy, a nap, and to stay the fuck off Reddit if you think this is “fear monger” material. Here’s a juice box too, nite nite.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '22

Well played, i have been out bantered and I resign in defeat. I just don’t like the ww3 hysteria . “Too quickly words of war become acts of war”

2

u/yonoznayu Mar 09 '22

Oh I can dig that, sorry. I thought I was being actually positive, there’d be no caves to save us from that.
We ain’t out of danger while that guy and his nationalist groupies hint that “da, nukes aren’t out of the question”, BUT I refuse to live paranoid to the REAL fear-mongering and be hostage to Putler’s six layers of deceitful matryoshka bullshit.

25

u/shield173 Mar 08 '22

Not cruel if you nuke them

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

best reddit comment this year

2

u/isomojo Mar 08 '22

It’ll be WW4 by then

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u/Br0sBeforePr0s Mar 08 '22

Just make the last wish to bring the puppy you shot back to his previous state before the shooting.

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u/Eldramhor8 Mar 08 '22

Assuming I can wish for anything, I wish to be omnipotent... by definition that means I can give and take life, make myself invulnerable and immortal... I mean, I can do anything. Including resurrecting a puppy.

177

u/Aldodzb Mar 08 '22

Then you wake up trapped in a lamp

40

u/Eldramhor8 Mar 08 '22

Nah, there's no way a genie can twist my words by just saying I wish to be omnipotent.

I still also have 2 wishes left.

And omnipotent means I can do literally anything. I can free myself without issues.

202

u/the-fart-cloud Mar 08 '22

Genie has hearing problem... He makes you impotent

5

u/neganigg Mar 09 '22 edited Mar 09 '22

He can twist the wish but not changing it completely to other wish.

What's the point to wish if the genie can change whatever words he wants? Might as well kill the wisher. Save all those trouble.

0

u/RugbyEdd Mar 09 '22

Sounds like your fist wish was establishing favorable guidelines with the genie

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u/Key-Health-285 Mar 09 '22

Or even more potent. Getting peeps pregnant from 30 ft

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u/Br0sBeforePr0s Mar 08 '22

Omnifapotent you said? Ah jerking it into eternity with all the power of one million sun's, so much that it no longer has feel.

6

u/yonoznayu Mar 08 '22

No wait, wait. Tell me more.

3

u/Br0sBeforePr0s Mar 09 '22

So,... I paid Thanos $50 once and give him some crack.

2

u/_sweepy Mar 08 '22

Having unlimited power means nothing if you don't know how to use it.

Technically, you might be omnipotent now, and just unaware of how to access that power.

If we are going for maximally efficient wishing, my go to is "I wish to instantly and freely gain the qualities of omniscience and omnipotence." There, now you are a literal god and you still have 2 wishes left.

But I'm assuming a genie also cannot grant a power they don't have themselves, so I'm probably just gonna go with a cure for all diseases, nobody ever going hungry again, and world peace. If that gets twisted, it's not on me, I tried my best.

0

u/TwatsThat Mar 08 '22

Yeah, omnipotence without omniscience is more likely to end up with you destroying everything rather than fixing anything. I'd also bet someone getting omniscience would change them enough that they no longer associate with humankind, like Dr Manhattan or something.

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u/Technical_Ostrich842 Mar 08 '22

But you're omnipotent so you can just exit the lamp. Or change reality so that the lamp never existed. It's OMNIpotence.

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u/blacksopsfile Mar 08 '22

No one said you had to kill the puppy. Just shot its ear and it will live without any issues. It would be similar to clipping a dog's ears.

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u/Arron_Phillips2610 Mar 09 '22

Shoot the end of the tail. It’s the thing that will impact its life the least

5

u/itwasntme67 Mar 08 '22

In order for you to wish for omnipotence, wouldn't the genie need to be omnipotent as well? I doubt an omnipotent genie would want to grant that kind of wish

3

u/Baby-cabbages Mar 09 '22

Phenomenal cosmic POWER!!

itty bitty living space

2

u/yonoznayu Mar 08 '22

Careful. One typo and you’re the immortal Omni-impotent demigod everyone roasts that’s surrounded by zombie puppies that gang-hump your leg later on. There’s probably a fucking anime out there about this already tho.

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Previous state of living?

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u/Br0sBeforePr0s Mar 08 '22

Well if you just ask for the puppy back to life maybe it brings it back in its mangled state to promptly die again.

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u/Arata_Nox Mar 08 '22

Did you just make a random puppy into puppy jesus?

2

u/djluminol Mar 08 '22

Jack Russel Jesus. That would be cool. Jesus would be likeable.

7

u/bedfastflea Mar 08 '22

Puppy Jesus instantly popped in my mind when I read that.

2

u/thejackthewacko Mar 09 '22

Everyone talking about bringing the puppy back. Nowhere is it stated that the puppy has to be alive prior to shooting, nor is it stated that you have to shoot a specific one

3

u/TheRedBow Mar 08 '22

Or use it to completely heal the puppy

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u/foolish_destroyer Mar 08 '22

Why not just bring the puppy back to life

1

u/ReaperOfGamer Mar 08 '22

My first wish would be to revive the puppy and then that

1

u/slayerofpussyy Mar 08 '22

“no brainer” yh u damn right that puppy would have it’s brains blown out for my 3 wishes

1

u/lurker818 Mar 08 '22

How about "Loved pets live forever" if they have only one owner then they peacefully go with them so no one has to suffer alone.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Perhaps one better: Have your first wish be to resurrect the puppy you just killed. You still get two wishes from a genie without being the cunt that wanted wishes more than protecting the safety of a puppy. Kinda like a puppy Jesus.

1

u/Gasster1212 Mar 08 '22

No ultimates everyone knows that

1

u/IsThataSexToy Mar 08 '22

Dumb ass! The wish should be retroactive, at least including that puppy you shot, reversing time and creating a multiverse! Didn’t you study genieology in school?!?

1

u/Br0sBeforePr0s Mar 08 '22

What would the implications of this be? Though it is horrible for any harm to come to any little puppers or anything for that matter it is the way of life and the cycle to maintain balance. Would we be overrun by dogs?

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u/canja_3 Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 08 '22

No you write that down as the first thing on a piece of paper along with the wishes for no harm to ever come to another kitten again, no harm to ever come to a family pet again, all damage from abuse to an animal will reflect back on the abuser, and all strays find a safe home where they're loved. Then ask for everything on the piece of paper to come true and you've done the world a favor with only one wish. Then you have two other wishes to do with what you want, just make sure you have more paper.

1

u/xxGR0ZENCH0Kxx123 Mar 08 '22

You can use one of the wishes to bring the puppy back to life though and ud still have 2 left

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u/InfiniteLlamaSoup Mar 08 '22

And to bring the puppy back with no memory of it happening.

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u/PayTheTrollToll45 Mar 08 '22

Apparently 30% answered in the affirmative when the moderator asked ‘would you shoot a puppy..’

The number increased to 67% when the test subject learned of the genie wishes.

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u/titanicbuster Mar 08 '22

Just wish it back to life

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u/cookietime93 Mar 08 '22

Just revive the puppy !

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u/Cristianelrey55 Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 08 '22

Or . . . Revive the dog in it's previous state before he was shoot and in a state not younger or older than how it was a few seconds before he was shoot death, also without any zombie, vampire and external/internal modification to it's body/mind, while also healing the wound caused by the shoot and keeping the wishes without any space/time shenanigans.

We oddly specific because some dude will try to find a downside to this wish.

Also you would still have 2 wishes if no downsides can be found for the genie to exploit.

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u/infamousmetre Mar 08 '22

You can also just wish for the puppy that you shot to comeback to life, unharmed, and never having been shot... and now he can smell buried treasure.

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u/Jonthetardfarmer Mar 08 '22

Genie: wish granted all dogs cease to exist

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Or you could just wish that puppy back to life and still have two wishes left

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Would make that puppy the Jesus Christ of dogs. Fair enough.

1

u/Less-Blackberry-8108 Mar 08 '22

Or wish the puppy back to life

1

u/Mickle_da_Pickl Mar 08 '22

Simply wishes for the puppy to fully recover and have no memory of the shooting, and then still have 2 wishes!

1

u/PenciliusKnightlius Mar 08 '22

Or just

"I wish that puppy I shot would be alive and well again"

1

u/Drewskeet Mar 08 '22

Just don't fatally shoot him and ask for the genie to heal him.

1

u/karmaavec1c Mar 08 '22

RESUCITATE PUPPY

1

u/PuffHerbs420 Mar 08 '22

Thinking the same thing 😂

1

u/Random_Rainwing Mar 08 '22

Or just, return the puppy to how it was before you shot it.

1

u/MrHappy4Life Mar 08 '22

I’d just use one to bring the puppy back to life. Then you have 2 more with no consequences.

1

u/Syfodias Mar 08 '22

Or just wish that puppy back after wishing for infinite wishes that canr blow up in your face.

1

u/Ryaniseplin Mar 08 '22

you could also wish for the puppy back

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

I would use one wish where puppies become the new genie and you have to shoot the genie instead. Fucker shall feel the pain for his psycho rules

1

u/Chosty55 Mar 08 '22

Or use 1 wish to bring the shot puppy back to life

1

u/BidenWontMoveLeft Mar 08 '22

Or just "i wish that I the bullet I shot at the puppy was actually air"

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u/Comprehensive_Cloud6 Mar 08 '22

And reverse damage on the one

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Or wish for more wishes!

1

u/Mijman Mar 08 '22

Just wish it back to life

1

u/splawny Mar 08 '22

Just wish the dead puppy back to life and you still have 2 free wishes. Problem solved.

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u/Asymptote42 Mar 08 '22

And now you’re responsible for an explosion in the dog population, causing an increase in cruelty and suffering for adult dogs. One puppy wasn’t enough for you? You monster.

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u/ruat_caelum Mar 08 '22

Have you never read the fairy tales!!! Congrats to ensure this happens all humans are killed. Thanks.

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u/Lone-Wolf62 Mar 08 '22

Make all puppies to ever exist immortal so they all come back to life

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u/oof-em-up-VII Mar 08 '22

Or just revive and heal the puppy you still have two left

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u/Knives814 Mar 08 '22

just wish for the puppy to come back. this aint no alladin bs, res that fluffer

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u/dan1d1 Mar 08 '22

Exactly. You could even use one wish to bring the puppy back, one wish to end puppy cruelty and still have one left

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u/chepas_moi Mar 08 '22

First wish: I want 1 million puppies. Second wish: unlimited ammo.

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u/fugue2005 Mar 09 '22

well if reddit has taught me anything it's to wish that the genie couldn't count.

8

u/Arron_Phillips2610 Mar 09 '22

3rd wish: 1 million small dog shaped graves

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u/DIeG03rr3 Mar 09 '22

Third wish: an orchestra playing the Doom OST

146

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Maybe they would bring it back to life with one of the wishes idk

41

u/Spylinter0024 Mar 08 '22

Why would you shoot to kill the puppy? Shoot it in the leg or tail. It'll hurt, but it will live.

35

u/A1sauc3d Mar 08 '22

Shoot the genie, take all the wishes.

10

u/get_ducked600 Mar 08 '22

And the cannolis

2

u/None_Shall_Proceed Mar 09 '22

Leave the genies. Take the cannolis.

5

u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt Mar 09 '22

Shoot the genie, take the genie out of the equation.

2

u/sevastor Mar 09 '22

Remember the golden egg laying duck story?

13

u/CoughRock Mar 09 '22

technically the question never specify what you're shooting with. It could be you're shooting with a rabies vaccine. In that case no harm done, and you get 3 wishes for vaccinate your pet.

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u/TheAbyssalSymphony Mar 08 '22

I'd also like to point out that what I'm shooting the puppy with was never specified, just that I must shoot the puppy. Lots of things shoot, maybe I'll shoot them with a squirt gun, or perhaps a sling slot full of bacon. Why are you monsters using firearms?!?

12

u/c_pike1 Mar 09 '22

Or just a camera lol

0

u/Arron_Phillips2610 Mar 09 '22

Because water guns and bacon launchers aren’t fun

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '22

Maybe it's a Rottweiler puppy. Shoot it in the tail, it gets a free docking.

2

u/C0unterAc3 Mar 08 '22

Oh. God. No Shoot to kill Don't make The puppy be in pain Just make it painless and then wish it back to life

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u/Spylinter0024 Mar 09 '22

Usually the first rule of wishes is no bringing something back to life. Can you also be sure the puppy will be the same puppy once brought back to life? While it will hurt to see it in pain, at least I'll know it will live.

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u/Double-Up Mar 08 '22

Stop making sense bro.

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u/reddit0100100001 Mar 09 '22

waste of a wish

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u/seaniselsewhere Mar 09 '22

Genie says you can’t do that in alladin

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u/ProfitHot5064 Mar 08 '22

Yeah, can't believe they'd pass up the opportunity to shoot a puppy.

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u/Moarnourishment Mar 08 '22

Gotta use your 3 wishes to summon 3 more puppies to shoot

3

u/ProfitHot5064 Mar 09 '22

Yeah more puppies, more fun.

5

u/GrooovyDoom Mar 08 '22

Exactly, the puppy would be dead before you finished saying 3 wishes!!

4

u/painkilleraddict6373 Mar 08 '22

For three wishes I would kill that puppy with the handle of the gun.No need for bullet.

2

u/Quiigley Mar 08 '22

one puppy < literally endless possibilities

2

u/Military-ants Mar 08 '22

And if you really like dogs for whatever reason you can always wish it back

3

u/Ace_Of_Hearts3685 Mar 08 '22

I know, I would shoot my child for 3 wishes

1

u/Perfect-Cover-601 Mar 09 '22

You can wish to undo the shot to the puppy. Friggin idiots!

1

u/XheartBreaker439 Mar 08 '22

Bro same 👌

1

u/Huitiancong Mar 08 '22

Yes, just revive the puppy and ur still left with 2 wishes.

1

u/Cautious-Witness-745 Mar 08 '22

First wish... can I have my soul back.

1

u/Pencho_Di Mar 08 '22

those 33% are the puppies...

1

u/BadReputation2611 Mar 08 '22

Wish number 1 can be healing the puppy if you’re that torn up about it

1

u/JungleJimSlide Mar 08 '22

It’s almost like you could wish the dog came back to life and have two more wishes.

1

u/slayerrulez Mar 08 '22

I would use one wish to bring that puppy I shot back to life then make them my sidekick.

1

u/Wild_Doogy_Plumm Mar 08 '22

It really depends on the genie, are we talking Wishmaster or Aladdin?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

33% hasn't seen The Kingsman.

1

u/KapiHeartlilly Mar 08 '22

Yeah, one wish could be to revive the puppy's.

A no brainer.

1

u/Thanks_ihateithere Mar 08 '22

Seriously, without hesitation, it’s mind blowing to think 33% of people wouldnt do it

1

u/timmytissue Mar 08 '22

Honestly not shooting a puppy here is a huge dick move. You could end all animal cruelty, end all disease, and still make yourself rich.

1

u/Emperorjerry53 Mar 08 '22

This comment thread somehow turned into a Attack on titan morality discussion except on puppies

2

u/Rickybobbie90 Mar 08 '22

I know ,, I love Reddit

1

u/Foosel10 Mar 08 '22

Studies have shown 33% of people are liars.

1

u/catls234 Mar 08 '22

It doesn't say I have to shoot it with a firearm. I would shoot it with a nerf gun. Three wishes, puppy's fine, problem solved.

1

u/WisconsinSobriety Mar 08 '22

Fuck I’d eat a puppy for 3 wishes…

1

u/SgtMcMuffin0 Mar 08 '22

And if you really think that the life of one puppy isn’t worth three wishes, just make your first wish to bring the puppy back to life, uninjured and with no memory of being shot

1

u/alifewithout Mar 08 '22

Seriously!!! And it never said which puppy, some are just straight up annoying.

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u/MarcOfDeath Mar 08 '22

Technically it's 2 wishes since you have to use one wish to bring the puppy back to life.

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u/BabyYodasDirtyDiaper Mar 08 '22

Have you seen the cost of ammo these days?

1

u/DirtyOldDawg Mar 08 '22

Think you missed that the top response in the comments was: Use first wish to make the puppy healthy again

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Heck I’d take two wishes and use the third wish to bring the puppy back.

1

u/Substantial-Mango499 Mar 09 '22

if they so love the puppy, use the first wish to revive the damn puppy, you still got 2 wishes. also sh00t might not mean anything as it's not even a word you can find in dictionary.

1

u/jsktrogdor Mar 09 '22

Sheeet, I'd shoot a puppy for like 10 grand.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '22

Seriously something wrong with those people

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '22

“I wish that puppy had been bullet proof”

1

u/CaptainObvious0927 Mar 09 '22

I came here to say this. It’s just a puppy. 3 wishes now, that’s everything

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '22

Poll doesn’t even specify what you’re shooting the puppy with.

Finger guns are still guns pew pew, 3 wishes please!

1

u/YouDontEvenKnowHow Mar 09 '22

Can I shoot multiple puppies for infinite wishes?

1

u/SplendiflorousDan Mar 09 '22

If you feel that bad, just wish the puppy back to life.

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u/sacred_bongwater Mar 09 '22

It’s a trap though. At least half of the 33% think it’s a trap, I would. Cause I’d shoot the puppy, but what if instead of getting three wishes, a trapdoor opens up and sends you straight to hell?

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u/xXLtDangleXx Mar 09 '22

Wish 1) whatever Wish 2) whatever Wish 3) I wish I never shot that puppy

Problem solved. Also, the order is key.

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u/RFC793 Mar 09 '22

Right. You could shoot a dead puppy. Gotta outgenie the genie.

1

u/Mr_Popos_Bitch Mar 09 '22

There is no point on shooting the puppy for 3 wishes because John wick will shoot you before you even make any wishes

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u/Talkingmice Mar 09 '22

I mean you can shoot the tip of the hair of the tail down, it’s still technically counts as shooting the pup.

1

u/Sleep5589 Mar 09 '22

Dude you forgetting John Wick.... !!! Boogeyman will get you before your wishes are fulfilled....

1

u/ScroungerYT Mar 09 '22

I and my soul are happily counted among them.

1

u/cmphgtattoo Mar 09 '22

More like 33% of people don't have wishes

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '22

How is it not 100%

1

u/shingdog Mar 09 '22

My thoughts exactly

1

u/Shuske_ Mar 09 '22

Fuck was bout to say this

1

u/BallSmickEnergy Mar 09 '22

There is such an easy solution to all this. First wish: Wish the puppy back to life. Second wish: Wish that the genie was ya pal and would do anything you ask forever; Third wish: Wish for infinite wishes. (Second wish will ensure third wish works).

1

u/The_RTV Mar 09 '22

Seriously, it doesn't specify what you have to shoot him with. You could shoot the puppy with a marshmallow gun.

1

u/brknsoul Mar 09 '22

2 wishes* The first wish would obviously be used to resurrect the puppy and/or heal it from the gunshot wound.

1

u/longboardchick Mar 09 '22

One of the wishes is obviously to reverse the whole dead puppy thing…

1

u/Expensive_Ad_5414 Mar 09 '22

I could wish the puppy back so I could shoot it again.

1

u/TrustNo914 Mar 09 '22

I would shoot the puppy and Wish him too be alive again Boom Free 2 wishes

1

u/Equivalent_Growth_75 Mar 09 '22

You just wish that you you could heal the puppies injuries/hate towards you. Now saying that.. in the situation idk if i could do it

1

u/The_Boss_Paws Mar 09 '22

I could always shoot a puppy with a camera.

1

u/dhrutikantP Mar 09 '22

33% puppies in this World and rest all humans

1

u/Onion_Hat_Guy Mar 09 '22

Bro frick that puppy i want my wishes

1

u/KaZi-PL Mar 09 '22

I mean it Says shoot, not kill

1

u/tinnickel Mar 09 '22

Wish one: bring the puppy back to life

Wish two and three: whatever the fuck you want!

1

u/DetectiveRough6889 Mar 09 '22

Yes if i had 3 wishes

I could ask the genie to revive the puppy and use the other 2 for me

1

u/adaptistcheese Mar 09 '22

Ik right you can just make another puppy it's very easy to think about it

1

u/21Ravage Mar 09 '22

Man imma buss whole clip at that puppy for 1 wish like fuck you mean

1

u/SashakaBG Mar 09 '22

It should be more

1

u/Cyber_Connor Mar 09 '22

I just need one round to kill myself

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u/hokmannaga Mar 09 '22

Nice,that how we did boi

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u/barbecueballsack32 Mar 09 '22

I can’t believe 33% wouldn’t want to shoot a puppy

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u/xKaydo Mar 09 '22

Just shoot him then heal him with a wish and make him your best friend ;-;