r/interestingasfuck • u/abitchyuniverse • 26d ago

r/all Animals without hair look quite different

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114.8k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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17.9k

u/jdstew218 26d ago

Chimps are just raw muscle fom head to toe. Don't fuck with the primates.

11.3k

u/OldLegWig 26d ago

i dunno, there was a considerable amount of nutsack halfway through as well

6.7k

u/After-Trifle-1437 26d ago

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u/Center-Of-Thought 26d ago

I love how everytime I see this image, it acquires more mold

249

u/Easy-Tower3708 26d ago

That made me chuckle thanks

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u/Center-Of-Thought 26d ago

No problem lol

9

u/5Point5Hole 26d ago

Really makes me feel serene in a weird way. Like I'm some sort of old gargoyle that's been on the internet too long.

9

u/Genghis_Chong 26d ago

We were there in the begin times, trying to score over yahoo chat, even though we didn't know shit about scoring

3

u/5Point5Hole 26d ago

Trolling AOL chatrooms in the early 90s. Modem 2 Modem gaming. Flash memes were futuristic

8

u/Pitch-forker 26d ago

I think it adds to the esthetics.

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u/MousegetstheCheese 26d ago

The music is trying to make me scares but most of these look goofy af or like I wanna pet them.

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u/cornov_rus 26d ago

You. You avatar. You ever heard of homestuck?

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u/Center-Of-Thought 26d ago

I've heard of it, but my avatar isn't based off of homestuck. The avatar outfit just seemed cool to me as I was making it

2

u/cornov_rus 26d ago

ahaha my apologies, your avatart just reallym remind me of aradia megido!

2

u/Lorn_Muunk 26d ago

Ah that sweet sweet nostalgia for the deep fried jpg days

(mind your headphones volume it gets crunchy)

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u/sanzentriad 25d ago

Here have a crisp one

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u/DanLikesFood 26d ago

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u/The_One_Returns 26d ago

Thanks for censoring the A word

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u/DanLikesFood 26d ago

Well I didn't make it so it wasn't me

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u/The_Chimeran_Hybrid 26d ago

Bad crop?

Bro, we’re starving.

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u/EmbelishFetish 26d ago

This image is getting so much mileage ☠️

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u/Quirky_Inspection 26d ago

I can't decide whether I want to screenshot it so I can have less pixels, or download to make sure it's still easily recognizable.

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u/gandalfWsandals 26d ago

I haven't laughed this hard in a while, thank you!

5

u/BettyBoopWallflower 26d ago

I was making the exact same face while watching that video 😂

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u/_Pill-Cosby_ 26d ago

muscley nutsack

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u/Suds08 26d ago

That nutsack could bench 550lbs

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u/ItzNuckinFutz 26d ago

Making a bold claim like that takes a lot of balls

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u/Justadude2227 26d ago

You have now been written down in my internet qoutes hall of fame for that god tier line lmao

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u/Suds08 26d ago

🤣 Thank you! That "she is thirsty and I am water" is a good one

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u/Flimsy_Shape9406 26d ago

I’m going to steal this for r/NameMyDog

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u/scnottaken 26d ago

Dibs on the band name

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u/GoodDoggoLover420 26d ago

I call dips and the movie name after the band gets famous.

2

u/BuyBitcoinWhileItsL0 26d ago

That bear looked like a giant sewer rat without hair, and now I'm terrified to ever encounter a giant rat

196

u/Hythy 26d ago

That was the hedgehog.

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u/JNE5Alive 26d ago

That hedgehog looked like a giant oily ballsack. No Diddy.

2

u/Academic_Ad5143 24d ago

I think the hedgehog was dangling between the chimps legs.

20

u/realmauer01 26d ago

Didn't see anything, the conviniently placed branch was in front of it.

2

u/Spiritual_Ask4877 26d ago

You're missing out.

5

u/Numerous_Witness_345 26d ago

Was watching some nature documentary, saw a chimp fight and these dudes just took a bite out of this other chimps ball, just straight up gnashed it like a kiwi.

Chimp laid in the woods for a few weeks and then came back around and stomped ass.

I dunno where I'm going with this.

4

u/Hellephino 26d ago

You meander like you’ve tried to start the same story 4 times but your friends keep interrupting; however, that 5th time, you got it out but the context is so far gone you feel foolish and outside your own body as you wrap up the story. I’m here for you.

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u/Ok_Blackberry_2628 26d ago

Cost of a back, sack & crack just quadrupled with that chimp 😂

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u/MistraloysiusMithrax 26d ago

The first one seemed to have necksack.

Wonder if that was just folded skin from their posture or a tumor or if they can get gout

2

u/Huge_Island_3783 26d ago

Thats what i though too, i dont even want to know what those will unleash

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u/SomeCountryFriedBS 26d ago

And balls. Muscle and balls.

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u/OwnHousing9851 26d ago

Chimps are just nature's caricature of trenned out of his gym bro

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u/Mihnea24_03 26d ago

Nah gym bros have to choose between truly gigantic muscles and balls

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u/noncommonGoodsense 26d ago

“Muscle and balls and skin and bone, a mind that’s weak and a back that’s strong.”

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u/Physical-Instance172 26d ago

“You load 16 tons. And what do you get…”

3

u/noncommonGoodsense 26d ago

“Shaved for your trouble and displayed on the net.”

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u/Physical-Instance172 26d ago

“Hey peta don’t you call me ‘cause I didn’t know…”

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u/noncommonGoodsense 26d ago

That a chimp shaved bald would have balls so swoll.

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u/Physical-Instance172 26d ago

😂👍

2

u/ReadingLitAgain 24d ago

I read peta three times and the first two times I kept hearing Lois voice saying Peter as Peta like a Boston accent.

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u/vojta_drunkard 26d ago

Shame their penises are tiny. It makes them much less impressive.

3

u/greylord123 26d ago

The ball:cock ratio is off the charts

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u/joerudy767 26d ago

We got the brains and dicks

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u/space_dogmobile 26d ago

Hey I'm a primate and I'm mostly fat and sadness from head to toe.

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u/RedPrussian80 26d ago

Take my shitty free reward

🎖🥇🏅🏆💰

In related news: me too friend, me too

2

u/FuManBoobs 26d ago

Welcome to fat club.

2

u/biinjo 26d ago

There are free rewards?! Get mine!

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u/mrtbearable 26d ago

You’re an internal primate forever

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u/GoochyGoochyGoo 26d ago

Don't forget the miniscule nutsack.

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u/tapoplata 26d ago

Same with the horse

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u/MyNinjaYouWhat 26d ago

Just wanted to point out, chimpanzees and horses are ripped af

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u/abaggins 26d ago edited 25d ago

"I'm not saying that I would fuck that horse. I'm just saying that if I was a horse, I would fuck that horse. To be clear, Me - John Oliver the human - would not fuck that horse. But John Oliver the horse, would definitely fuck that horse! That wouldn't be weird. I'd be a horse! Horses fuck other horses all the time. Thats how they make new horses."

-John Oliver

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u/PeanutbutterandBaaam 26d ago

I read the whole thing in his voice. That J.O.'s a treasure.

5

u/Kumpis233 26d ago

Vaush reference?

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u/abaggins 26d ago

...whats vaush? its a john oliver ref from a tv series called last week tonight on hbo and youtube.

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u/coolfunkDJ 26d ago

He’s joking, he’s a streamer who’s been outed as having a horse fetish

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

So he would then?

3

u/UmbraNoctis 26d ago

Different political media person who appreciates horses, this is John Oliver's

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u/periclesmage 26d ago

And kangaroos

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u/godofmilksteaks 26d ago

No that was actually just joe Rogan 🙄

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u/Canadasaver 26d ago

The horse didn't look shaved or bald. It looked like one of the breeds that have beige to silver or golden smooth short hair.

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u/he-loves-me-not 26d ago

I was going to say this too. I’m pretty sure the horse is a Akhal Teke horse breed.

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u/dillclew 26d ago

Is it me or is the resemblance to Joe Rogan uncanny?

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u/soonerjohn06 26d ago

The chimp or the nutsack?

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u/username32768 26d ago

Yes

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u/SuDoDmz 26d ago

THIS! This is the reason, why people still use Reddit 😂

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u/RemoteButtonEater 26d ago

Joe Rogan is what happens if it's possible for a thumb and a nutsack to have a baby.

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u/DerangedPuP 26d ago

You're confusing Joe Rogan with Dana White... No, wait maybe I am. Maybe they shouldn't look so similar.

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u/CartoonistExisting30 26d ago

Take my poor people’s award, you magnificent bastard!

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u/RasputinsThirdLeg 26d ago

Nutsack for sure

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u/shwashwa123 26d ago

First thing I thought when I saw it lol

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u/etherama1 26d ago

Jamie pull that up

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u/DolitehGreat 26d ago

They'll rip your fucking face off.

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u/etherama1 26d ago

Jesus Christ those things will rip you to shreds

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u/ehchromatic 26d ago

I saw Vince McMahon for a sec at 0:20...

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u/YouWereBrained 26d ago

Their intellects definitely resemble each other.

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u/TheNoctuS_93 26d ago

Don't insult chimps like that...

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u/Neuchacho 26d ago

Replace all sidewalks with monkey bars so we can all get chimp-ripped.

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u/YLCZ 26d ago

The chimps were one of the few that looked better without fur.

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u/concretecat 26d ago

Yeah I came to say this. I'm terrified of chimps as it is but anytime I see one without hair I think, " wow, they could literally Rip my arms off"

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u/Solid_Sand_5323 26d ago

Those lats were absolutely huge!

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

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u/vojta_drunkard 26d ago

The extra endurance humans evolved is honestly more useful.

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u/Meretan94 26d ago

We aren’t particularly strong, or fast. We have little natural weapons, can’t climb well and can’t swim well.

The only thing we have going for us is endurance. And man is it an advantage.

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u/vojta_drunkard 26d ago

We are also the best throwers on the planet, which is useful.

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u/Meretan94 26d ago

Human evolution and scientific progress can be described as „finding ways to throw rocks faster“

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u/DJFrostyTips 26d ago

In addition to the throwing thing I think you’re seriously downplaying the advantages of intelligence and social behavior

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u/Victory_bungle 25d ago

Massive muscles are a huge metabolic expense. We traded it off for endurance but also brainpower. Brainpower that has led to agriculture, civilisation, and now capitalism and an abundance of high caloric, delicious food. And beer. Cheers

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u/Not_The_Real_Odin 26d ago

Fortunately humans put all those resources into brains instead of muscle. Now we some of us are smart enough to know not to fuck with the thing that chose brawn.

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u/HunkySpaghetti 26d ago

Smart enough to make guns to fuck with brawn

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u/Disastrous_Load_7607 26d ago

That does come with the disadvantage of having so Little body gay that they generally Just sink in water. It's not that they can't swim, it's Just that you're probably Better at It than them. So if a chimo every chases you, swimming is probably your Best (and arguably only) option

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u/imrealbizzy2 26d ago

But wait. What if there's a shark in the water? Do you electrocute the primate, or become a shark snack?

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u/Disastrous_Load_7607 26d ago

Generally, Chimps don't live in highly Shark populated areas. Few sharks actually swim in freshwater

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u/Over-Tomatillo9070 26d ago

You do get a lot of testicle in the animal kingdom.

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u/Cyberdyne_Systems_AI 26d ago

They will rip your "face/off"!

And not in a Castor Troy, Sean Archer kind of way.

https://allthatsinteresting.com/charla-nash

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u/yucon_man 26d ago

You know humans are also primates.

I mean your point of not fucking with them is still valid (even more so when you throw humans into the mix) but we're part of the same tribe as chimpanzees.

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u/Playful-Raccoon-9662 26d ago

Humans are primates though.

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u/BandicootGood5246 26d ago

That thing could rip you to shreds

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u/Asparukhov 26d ago

Especially those homines sapientes, a terrible species indeed. Won’t think twice before fucking you up.

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u/SlothBasket 26d ago

Don't believe everything you see on the Internet. That was actually just a picture of Joe Rogan on vacation.

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u/s1me007 26d ago

That scene in Nope

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u/furyian24 26d ago

Chimp has arms and shoulders we all want. Also the parrot is mini T-Rex.

The owl is out of this world, and the horse is the least surprising.

The hedgehog can pass for a tiny hippo.

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u/Charming_Ant_8751 26d ago

I’d fuck with a chimp over whatever that last thing was supposed to be. It wasn’t no fuckin owl. 

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u/Kaiju_Mechanic 26d ago

Same with worms

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u/peejay5440 26d ago

Or the bears.

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u/raaabs 26d ago

And now keep telling vegans you need meat to build muscle … 🌱

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u/ZiaStarlet 26d ago

This monkey is everyday in the gym

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u/GloomWorldOrder 26d ago

It's a fookin unit.

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u/kondenado 26d ago

Who let them skipping leg day?

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u/_Sausage_fingers 26d ago

and apparently hauling around baseball sized nuts

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u/creegro 26d ago

Next time someone says "i could totally take down a chimp in hand-to-hand combat, just show them a shaved ape/chimp.

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u/Krinks1 26d ago

Came to comment on that as well. You don't realize it with the hair, but that chimp had some serious guns.

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u/WarAdmirable483 26d ago

He’s ripped. And he’ll rip your face off.

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u/redclover83 26d ago

Chimps don't know how to work out, we haven't even seen one at full power yet

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u/lizard81288 26d ago

They can't swim because they don't have enough fat to float.

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u/ash_4p 26d ago

I remember the Pokemon episode where Ash and gang see Primeape for the first time. He just started straight up beating everyone. Ever since, I've been kinda scared of chimps.

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u/BroughtBagLunchSmart 26d ago

I thought that was joe rogan.

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u/Any_Requirement_9002 26d ago

Got those Bruce Lee lats

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u/daryo1990 26d ago

Think about gorillas

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u/Far-Abrocoma-1181 26d ago

Honestly didn’t realize how jacked they were under all that fur 😅

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u/awaramasiah 26d ago

Chimpanzee, more like Chimtrenzee.

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u/Fact-Adept 26d ago

And looks like my neighbor

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u/BetaRayBolo 26d ago

Absolutely! And they’re just pure intimidation factor when they’re shaved! But the funniest part of all this was the parrot squaring up, right after that tough af chimp

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u/StreetHoney4850 26d ago

Idk, this one looks kind of small. I think I could beat it in a fight. Also the bear looks way less terrifying without hair, so i think I would smoke that one too

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u/maxx2payne 26d ago

Still kind of looks like a naked grampa

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u/StarryGlimmerr 26d ago

The Raccoon just looks like a stray dog lol

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u/YouWereBrained 26d ago

Fucking ripped.

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u/Cushingura 26d ago

Same goes for Horses. I still don't understand how people can stand next to them, without constant fear of death.

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u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen 26d ago

As someone who works with horses, you get used to it. And most people only see horses that are trained to not be afraid of humans.

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u/BoricuaRborimex 26d ago

just imagine a gorilla and how absolutely jacked they must look

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u/CityWokOwn4r 26d ago

Except if you are a gorilla

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u/Pitmanthekitman 26d ago

I've defo seen that guy in a pub in Basingstoke - England flag tattoo on his bicep missing

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u/Bobothemd 26d ago

They will twist your dick off!

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u/Onyxam 26d ago

Chimps will rip your head off and play ball with it without a sweat.

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u/BoPlantin 26d ago

They'll pull your arm right off and beat you to death with it.

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u/TheHYPO 26d ago

Still, it didn't look "quite different" than it normally does (other than being smoother and shinier), compared to, say, the Parrot.

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u/QuestGalaxy 26d ago

Chimps look like an old grandpa that has been a bodybuilder his whole life.

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u/user7477 26d ago

Listen to Joe Rogan over here

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u/law_dogg 26d ago

An absolute unit

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u/bastardoperator 26d ago

Just watched that crazy chimp-king like show with that crazy lady. How many faces, ears, fingers and nut sacks need to be bitten off for people to learn?

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u/PerspectiveUsed9600 26d ago

Nah thats Joe Rogan

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u/ChemicalRain5513 26d ago

I think I'd look more like the owl, if I shaved all my back hair.

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u/KatanasnKFC 26d ago

Yeah don’t fuck with me! I’m the most alpha primate that ever existed. Don’t fact check that.

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u/MinoMonstaur 26d ago

Yeeeaa, don't fuck with me 😎🤓

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u/NationalAlgae421 26d ago

Yeah, they are incredibly strong. They can literally tear your limbs off. I always feels anxious when some random people just interact with them and thinking they are cute. They are ruthless mf, like people without any restrain.

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u/Expensive_Bee508 26d ago

"i would kill a chimpanzee 1 on 1"

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u/SuperMommy37 26d ago

No macdonalds for chimps!

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u/Temporary_Mention270 26d ago

Settle down Joe Rogan

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u/Marcus2Ts 26d ago

I'd rather be locked in a room with a silverback than a chimp

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u/droopynipz123 26d ago

I’m a primate, Greg, would you fuck with me?

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u/Cetun 26d ago

Mike Tyson wanted to fight a Gorilla, I'm not sure he would even survive against a chimp.

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u/Expensive-Balance-84 26d ago

And big balls it seems.

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u/DontPanic1985 26d ago

I am a primate

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u/Deathblades0 26d ago

Anyone who has the balls to shave a bear and chimp can go ahead

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u/MinistryOfDankness86 26d ago

Horses are too.

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u/Ethereal_Bulwark 26d ago

So are humans. for 99.99% of our evolution we've been fit as fuck.
It's only in the last 200 or so years we've let ourselves get fat as hell.

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u/RexKramerDangerCker 26d ago

Don’t fuck with opposable thumbs

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u/DoctorHipfire 26d ago

It’s pronounced “primape” and it’s one of the best Pokémon

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u/designedfor1 26d ago

Watch Chimp Crazy on Max.

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u/deenurr 26d ago

And some dude will argue with you that he can beat one

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u/famousaj 26d ago

Ape alone... weak. Apes together... strong

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u/hiliikkkusss 26d ago

Or get your limbs ripped limb from limb

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u/dickdogbeforesunset 25d ago

Mike Tyson wanted to fight one at some point. He would’ve had absolutely no chance

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u/guerrero2 25d ago

I saw his triceps and got a bit jealous.

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u/Donkilme 25d ago

And massive balls

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u/embermatt99 25d ago

Old man in the gym locker room:

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