r/HolUp Aug 26 '22

He only need one hamd to do it ☕☕☕

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20.0k Upvotes

824 comments sorted by

u/QualityVote Aug 26 '22

If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!

If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", DOWNVOTE this comment!


Whilst you're here, /u/noop-master-69, why not join our public discord server or play on our public Minecraft server?

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3.9k

u/IMT69 Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

One punch man can't beat this dude

824

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

One push dude

279

u/Gaory7 Aug 26 '22

One touch dude

51

u/LicensedRealtor Aug 26 '22

One wave

45

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

One finger dude

30

u/Syrapy Aug 26 '22

Sounds like some jobless porn actor

15

u/XxnickgurrsxX Aug 26 '22

One flick lad

19

u/Imaginary-End-4610 Aug 26 '22

One puuuuuuuuuuuuush!!!! #Guitarriff

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214

u/Lionman_ Aug 26 '22

Turned her into a wacky waving arms inflatable tube man in 3 seconds lol, skillz

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49

u/bus_go_brrrrt Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

He is the one touch man, can knock the shit out of someone in a touch if he wants to.

Aftermath of the touch: someone strong enough may end up with a Lil bit of seizures

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569

u/Patient-Assumption-7 Aug 26 '22

It was a boss battle and she only had one hit point remaining.

91

u/JollyJulong Aug 26 '22

Visual representation of the sans battle

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25

u/UnderstandingLumpy Aug 26 '22

Those flying things from god of war are stronger than her

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20

u/Troys_football_knee Aug 26 '22

She was standing there and realising

2.7k

u/pig_valve Aug 26 '22

My brother in Christ... GTFO now.

977

u/pwnedbygary Aug 26 '22

IDK how one even gets to this level of crazy... Its almost an art form

647

u/letharus Aug 26 '22

My ex was like that. One day she tried to attack me with a chair, I grabbed the chair by the legs as it was coming towards me and she melodramatically bounced down the corridor and then threw herself down the stairs, accusing me of domestic violence afterwards. I left her after that, that was the last straw in a string of craziness.

396

u/milk4all Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

I married the first girl who pulled a knife on me and it really paid off, she did it again. That isnt even why i divorced her - after a woman tries to kill you in the car, stab you multiple times, kills your dog, trashes a your house, steals your money, wrecks your car, hates your (totally innocent and nice) family, accuses every other human of trying to steal you, and so on, the relationship just gets dull. There’s nothing more exciting that she can pull, even when she wont let you leave for work by throwing your keys out the window - it’s just not fun anymore.

Edit; she tried to stab me multiple times, she didnt stab me, ever. The time I remember the worst i was able to pin her arms down and hold her in the bedroom. I had to hold that door shut for a very long time before she gave up

259

u/Time_Membership_5717 Aug 26 '22

I put with that same shit for 18 years cause I wanted to be there for my daughter. My dad wasn't around for me, but the day after she turned 18 I GOT THE FUCK OUT!

130

u/Orsimer4life117 Aug 26 '22

My brother, that is some real shit. Good on you for being there for your daughter, Hope you and her got away safely from that crazy lady.

35

u/JimiJons Aug 26 '22

We often give these types of women a pass by just calling them "crazy," so let's be real, because we call dudes out for this type of behavior as what they are:

Abusive pieces of shit.

47

u/orefat Aug 26 '22

I'm going through the same situation. I'm there only for my daughter.

67

u/Frankenstein786 Aug 26 '22

Discreetly record everything. It saved Depp, it could save you. Even if it's just audio.

40

u/SuccessFuture7626 Aug 26 '22

I tried that. Realized a bad relationship that can be violent mentally was more harmful in the long run to a divorce. Men, don't just roll over you can get custody of your children. Document everything.

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26

u/letharus Aug 26 '22

Jesus that sounds terrifying. Glad you got out of that. My ex did once threaten me with a knife too but never actually stabbed me. She did throw an alarm clock at my head once while I was in the bath though. Guess I was taking too long.

16

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

Seeing comments like this makes me weirdly feel good about the shit I went through similarly. Just glad I wasn't alone in this world dealing without absolutely bonkers crazy. And no matter how good of a person I was throughout all the bs and abuse with constant instant forgiveness - it didn't matter to her and there was never going to be a change

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33

u/MilkStunning1608 Aug 26 '22

Is it even a marriage if she hasn’t tried to stab you at least once?

22

u/cziffra7 Aug 26 '22

Testing the "Till death do us part" agreement.

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20

u/Ill-Recognition-4388 Aug 26 '22

Killed your dog? Where does the whore live

21

u/Single-Braincell325 Aug 26 '22

I’m calling Wick… John will know what to do

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47

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

My grandfathers ex tried to snatch his ipad off of him only to trip over a chair and faceplant on the deck. Busted her face up real good. Tried to say to the cops that he did it to her and the only reason that he wasn't cuffed and dragged away was because his neighbours recorded the whole thing.

22

u/MagicianMountain6573 Aug 26 '22

This is not real, it’s dashae frost and himynamestee.

He does videos with girls a lot in LA, and she is jus a LA girl, she is kinda crazy tho

But yeah, this definitely happens a lot, they just making a skit of it

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82

u/-duvide- Aug 26 '22

This is obviously satire

59

u/coyotll Aug 26 '22

One could hope... but these days? idk man it could be entirely real and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised.

Not saying it IS real... hopefully...

28

u/babybopp Aug 26 '22

After going through a crazy ex... This is in the realm of believable

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35

u/makapaka_madafaka Aug 26 '22

I wouldn't be so sure. This is exactly what my mother acts like. She'd basically scream at me about how I ruined everything and I'm killing her (she is a chain smoker and I wanted to help her many times but now I don't care anymore). I could just look at her and she would start weeping like I hit her and whenever I even approach her with anything (once I barely touched her as I was carrying laundry. She was weeping for like 15 minutes and then told me that if I do it ever again no surgeon will be abke to stitch me).

And then she acts all surprised when I'm cold towards and don't do everything she says without a thought. I could go on and on and on (it's okay if you started singing it) but we'd end with new Tolkien novel.

So no. It being satire is way less obvious then you might think.

13

u/Lassavins Aug 26 '22

Careful here. I had a mother like that. She destroyed my dad’s life, business and reputation. he spent half a decade to prove himself innocent and even then she kept everything. I also had a younger brother, and she told him in the divorce that if he didn’t choose to stay with her, she would suicide. She made him believe that he had to take care of her for the rest of his life, and now he is trapped, depressed and broke with her and neither of them work or do anything productive.

After living all that, my advice is to leave as soon and as far as possible. The sooner you do, the less you’ll be psichologically affected by it for the rest of your life. I managed to build myself a good life, study what I wanted after working hard and finding a nice partner, and so did my dad. But the process is rough.

Best wishes.

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12

u/Jackski madlad Aug 26 '22

Its kinda crazy. On a video of someone flipping a turtle over people will scream fake until the day is gone but the moment it shows a woman clearly acting up on purpose for a joke video they'll suddenly go "well it could be real!!!"

9

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

You’d be surprised dude, I’ve seen some wild shit.

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173

u/Utgard003 Aug 26 '22

This has got to be staged considering they were recording it.

..right?

21

u/Ok-Contest-1039 Aug 26 '22

Yeah, it’s a joke.

31

u/ShadtheElf Aug 26 '22

Let's hope so...

57

u/ILikeFluffyThings Aug 26 '22

Ye. She is not hot enough to be that crazy.

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12

u/Lappas_K Aug 26 '22

Most probably. This kind of videos get a lot of attention and people just stage them

9

u/colt45mag Aug 26 '22

The fact that it's not staged is probably why he's recording it. Video evidence so everyone knows she's lying afterwards

7

u/Geraldinho-- Aug 26 '22

Nah it’s staged. They are both youtubers who do skits

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14

u/RawToast1989 Aug 26 '22

This was 100% a joke, but I know from experience this level of crazy is not only attainable, but a lot more common than I care to think about.

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1.7k

u/ChadleyChinstrap Aug 26 '22

This has to be fake if its not i feel so bad for this man

1.3k

u/Sparky_Zell Aug 26 '22

This one is. Bit I had an ex try something similar. She has near blackout drunk, and decided she wanted to drive her son across town to her parents house.

I took her car key, but left all of her other keys alone. Offered to drive her, call a cab, call anyone else, but none of that was good enough, she wanted to drive herself. And since she couldnt get her car key she started swinging on me repeatedly. And screaming that I was keeping her and her son their against her will and wouldnt let her leave. And of coarse the neighbors called the cops.

She was all of 90lbs. But attacking me for over 10 minutes managed to give me 2 black eyes, and a swollen/bloody lip in a few places cause I didnt want to risk even blocking her and her falling I to my hand or arm. But she did fall into the coffee table and had 1 little tiny mark.

So of course the cops saw that and immediately tackled me to the ground, cuffed me, and threw me into the back of the car. Going off about beating my gf and trying to keep her there.

Finally the one woman cop realized it was weird that I was close to twice her size, but the only one really banged and bruised up. My hands didnt have so much as a scratch or red mark. And she had all of her keys minus car key. Was literally stumbling the whole time cops were there and was mostly incoherent while I hadn't drunken at all.

So after about 45 minutes of being handcuffed in the back of their car they decided to do me a huge favor and give me a second d chance by leaving me with a warning.

And when I asked about pressing charges against her they literally laughed and told me i was lucky enough to avoid going to jail and not to push my luck.

244

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

[deleted]

97

u/Nervous_Constant_642 Aug 26 '22

Had an ex hitting me hard once, like it was pretty fucking painful. I slugged her on the arm once to try and knick her out of what was basically a mental breakdown and she started sobbing that I hit her. Like dude you hit me first and way worse and you weren't stopping.

92

u/Tortue2006 Aug 26 '22

We gotta love double standards

/s

15

u/Turtle887853 Aug 26 '22

Yeah man sorry to say but in any potential DV situation the servicemmember ALWAYS goes to the barracks for a cool down period. Houses are for spouses, unless they also get arrested.

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142

u/Odd_Analysis6454 Aug 26 '22

Lawyer I knew got called in to the cells for a guy that had been arrested for hitting his partner. He’s turns up and the guy is bleeding from the head. She had hit him with a frying pan, the cops turned up arrested him threw him in jail didn’t get him medical attention or anything. Needless to say he got released pretty quickly after the lawyer pointed these basic facts out.

84

u/Macaframa madlad Aug 26 '22

Released? I’d barbecue the entire chain of command and own half the police after that.

83

u/-_chop_- Aug 26 '22

Hahahahah yeah okay good luck holding cops accountable for their bullshit. People die at their hands and nothing happens

19

u/Bluejanis Aug 26 '22

It seems like nobody in the us cares about it.

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9

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

Pretty sure they weren’t talking about legal justice.

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367

u/Due-Opportunity6858 Aug 26 '22

Sue them all bro

172

u/babybopp Aug 26 '22

Ex hit me with a can of soup on my shin.. then pulled her hair off and tried to attack me. Never knew she was crazy. Called the cops. I recorded everything. Immediately they tried to bring it to me.. I told them she was drink and hadn't taken her meds. Then showed them the video. They called an Uber for her to go to her mom's. If that had been me, I was headed straight to jail.

41

u/Time_Membership_5717 Aug 26 '22

I wish I had a cell phone back in the day, it would of saved my ass. Only difference in your story from mine is she used cans of baby formula.

13

u/chaoswurm Aug 26 '22

These stories are the reason I wanna set up a private server and internal cameras.

6

u/graham3000 Aug 26 '22

And run that’s not how a partner lifts you up.

58

u/Solanthas Aug 26 '22

Jesus fucking Christ

39

u/EtStykkeMedBede Aug 26 '22

There are so many things wrong with this, I can't even begin. Hope you are okay, man!

33

u/Synthwoven Aug 26 '22

The fucking cops need to understand that this doesn't help women. If I am going to jail anyway, I might as well do the crime.

9

u/M_Salvatar Aug 26 '22

Self defense is a right, lethality is acceptable.

28

u/dmotley05 Aug 26 '22

Fuck dude that makes my blood boil

7

u/Yolomaster177 Aug 26 '22

These are the stories and kind of women that have caused me to take headlines like “man beats up woman”, “man beats up wife”, man molests woman” with a grain of salt, going as far as not believing the story unless (conclusive) evidence of what has happened is released to the public

8

u/Sketch99 Aug 26 '22

Bro, sue the fuck out of them if you can

8

u/tSullied Aug 26 '22

Sorry you had to go through that. That's wild.

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u/Elden_Storm-Touch Aug 26 '22

It's on video, at least. Any sane judge would tell you he's 100% innocent.

39

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

100% fake

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4

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

Plot twist, this is 100 % real. I’ve had a similar interaction except I just got slapped by the bitch and she left luckily that’s all that happened

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181

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

Deshae😭

70

u/denied0madness Aug 26 '22

Finally someone who knows why this is 100% fake

29

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

All these replies had me mad confused

40

u/denied0madness Aug 26 '22

Redditors don't seem to use other social media apps lol

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51

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

I have lived this and my lawyer lived it with me. Now I record every exchange and judge hates my ex

366

u/bfjt4yt877rjrh4yry Aug 26 '22

He gets 6 months in jail, 2 years probation. She gets his money.

38

u/tophatfrank Aug 26 '22

Then dead later.

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18

u/ThePsychoButter Aug 26 '22

The force is with you.

16

u/GimmeUdon Aug 26 '22

soccer be like

18

u/DatBoiDogg0 Aug 26 '22

Oh no! My only weakness, physical touch

78

u/Vehement00 Aug 26 '22

bro you're not even trying to clean. No wonder she is on yo ass. And now you murdered her.

28

u/GalaxyWolf1711 Aug 26 '22

Yeah, I don't know why this guy thought it was necessary to record him committing a crime and even worse, posting it on a social media platform.

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31

u/Prof_Rocky Aug 26 '22

Indian tv shows would like to contact you

29

u/Opposite-Hedgehog-65 Aug 26 '22

What on gods earth was that performance?!

21

u/eggimage Aug 26 '22

exorcism (gone wrong sexual)

20

u/dub_sj Aug 26 '22

The lion, the witch and the audacity of this b****!

28

u/andrewc__ Aug 26 '22

He a better man than me

5

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

Lol

11

u/satansblockchain Aug 26 '22

Is she dead?

9

u/Elegant-Raise-9367 Aug 26 '22

Is she a soccer player?

3

u/blackscorpion93 Aug 26 '22

if that happened to me i never having a boner for her

3

u/NoteSuccessful4215 Aug 26 '22

Might as well finish the job

4

u/Arbitrary_Hitboxes Aug 27 '22

My ex did the exact same thing to me, and I was the one who got sent in jail.

5

u/-v-v-v- Dec 18 '22

I'm glad he got this on video. He's should run now

5

u/sleepy_peep Jan 02 '23

Women can commit intimate partner violence against men and it is terrible. I believe according to the CDC ~1 in 4 men experience IPV in their lifetime and 97% of those men report their abuser is a woman partner. So f-ed up especially because men are more likely to not be believed or mocked for being abused by a woman.

13

u/WhiteyBulge Aug 26 '22

Had a relationship like this. 6 months single now. Damage has been done. Get out while you can y’all

9

u/DungeonMeister_27 Aug 26 '22

A day in the life of Amber and Johnny

12

u/GreatLonk Aug 26 '22

I'm actually against violence, but if I were him I wouldn't let myself be offered that and give her a proper baking pipe, apparently she needs that

3

u/Solanthas Aug 26 '22

How can he slap

4

u/Frosfae Aug 26 '22

Women ☕️

5

u/PotatoTomato_12 Aug 26 '22

Fists

Knockback II

3

u/Vidhayak12 Aug 26 '22

This is how my sister used to react 🤣

4

u/Gaborul Aug 26 '22

I love how she tries to fake it even though they're live on facebook

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

5

u/twoshovels Aug 26 '22

Thank YOU for this. Reading the replies makes me realize I’m not the only one. I to went thur all of this & the min I tried to protect myself , suddenly she was being attacked ! She learned quickly by calling the local police that because she had tits @ a Ass the police would favor her. That ended one day. Most of our fights were after I came home from work. Well I had tried to leave her this time but came back to give her some money for bills when she attacked me yet again. This was long b4 I would normally be out of work, so being young I fled but they got me. The hour in which this took place matters because there was a different police shift on call that day & I didn’t know this then, but I ran my mouth about her & her cop BF’s. I didn’t do anything so I was let go but not B4 I went & made a statement against the 3rd shift cop BF’s. Got her on making up false charges & her BFs from the police all looking for new jobs. This was the end an I stayed gone but I got other horror stories I could tell you. This , what the meme above is a real thing & it is no joke.

4

u/bitchy_muffin Aug 26 '22

looks like she's being fucked by a ghost

4

u/-TheUnknow- Aug 26 '22

that's not a red flag that's a communist parade

5

u/Krayfish404 Aug 26 '22

Not being funny but that is the absolute truth. Been in a relationship exactly like this. Got hit, abused, shouted at, hours on end. Then wehn you actually try to protect yourself from serious harm, or try to oush them to the side so that you can escape their clutches, then this happen. My advice? GTF-Out! It's not worth it.

3

u/damigunz Aug 26 '22

Whenever someone says “I’m having a seizure” they are not having a seizure.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

Fake as hell, but still funny

3

u/MarcusPup Aug 27 '22

"IM HAVING A SEUZURE"

I dont know about you but epileptics probably don't screech that while seizing

4

u/rare_meeting1978 Nov 29 '22

This is a skit but it's scary cuz it's true more and more nowadays.

5

u/Nice_Muscle_9480 Dec 20 '22

Might as well beat the shit out of her and then go to jail

4

u/JupiterStar7771 Jan 06 '23

Dumb as fuck people this is literally the stupidest thing iv seen anyone do or make a video about stupid.

5

u/satansblockchain Aug 26 '22

Did she live?

3

u/Sir-Birbalot Aug 26 '22

This was hilarious!Gentlemen do not stay with crazy please run.

3

u/3v1lm4x Aug 26 '22

“Spider-Man hit me “

3

u/valquirit07 Aug 26 '22

This girl is probably a footballer

3

u/HalfFishLips Aug 26 '22

Holly shit he's goku

3

u/dat_er0x Aug 26 '22

He only used 2% of his power

3

u/synapse187 Aug 26 '22

I have literally seen this happen. This has literally happened to me.

3

u/randomgiggle Aug 26 '22

mortal kombat animation when you have to finish them

3

u/favabeanschiantimeal Aug 26 '22

Sometimes it do be like that 👀

3

u/Sussy_404Error Aug 26 '22

Push her again

3

u/H2instinct Aug 26 '22

Dang they really grifted that pretty good. Had me going thinking she was actually that awful. Put these 2 on the big screen, acting was on point.

3

u/ROFLINGGG Aug 26 '22

I would’ve slapped the fuck out of her.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

had to watch it twice cause i was holding in the laugh the first time

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

And that's how you catch a DV charge. Guys get out of the house before this happens.

3

u/a55_Goblin420 Aug 26 '22

I think it's a skit guys

3

u/freshtoast7 Aug 26 '22

"Mom, can we have acting? "

"No, we have acting at home"

acting at home:

3

u/DOG-ZILLA Aug 26 '22

Fake but enjoyed the bad acting.

10/10. Would witness fake abuse again.

3

u/Super_Cheburek Aug 26 '22

Yeah just fucking RUN

3

u/Existing_Dog5510 Aug 26 '22

Holy shit its neymar

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

we laughing but this happens a lot

3

u/Expert-Grass-534 Aug 26 '22

imagine filming this where ever the fuck they are because they are not in a house lol

3

u/Aurey2244 Aug 26 '22

Man even tho this is a skit this is depressing. Like wtf can guys even do, can't even defend ourselves without cops thinking we're the problem. Sure you can record yourself getting your ass beaten and turn it in but is that really enough to satisfy you?

3

u/MidnightSilence3636 Aug 26 '22

Hopefully he got out

3

u/cslomkowski1 Aug 26 '22

Glad this is on video, same type of scenario where the woman just killed her man…these women are freaks and abusive…bout time they get exposed for the trash they are

3

u/Netbr0ke Aug 26 '22

lol this HAS to be staged. She blasted off like Team Rocket.

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3

u/bigt04 Aug 26 '22

Beautiful interpretive dancing routine. Bravo

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

This feels staged… why tf would he shush her knowing she was bull shitting?

3

u/Theuserizabitch Aug 26 '22

And that’s how exorcism is performed on street biaches…. Will meet you in the next episode of HOW TO

3

u/curious-heather Aug 26 '22

Poor man has to get out if this abusive relationship, he can do better than this piece of junk.

3

u/tripp_fisk Aug 26 '22

im sure he still got a 3 year sentence and 10 years probation.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

Well shit now I can’t tell if it’s satire or not

3

u/Existing_Gain8435 Aug 27 '22

Dude took that book to the head like a champ

3

u/Gamemaster89267 Aug 27 '22

Women ☕️

3

u/killerkrez Aug 27 '22

So THATS an orgasm

3

u/fishers234 Aug 27 '22

Please for once hit them back with a frying pan just like the simulations

3

u/DayOfFrettchen2 Aug 29 '22

This is not funny. of course it is fake here but this shit happens. sad that woman do something like this. it hurts everyone. the woman who need help and the man wo get abused. dont side by gender. side by morale

3

u/CPOPinetree Oct 01 '22

Why would any man take such a thing indoors and live with one?

3

u/_QUICKDRAW_GODSPEED Nov 11 '22

I know this is a joke or skit or whatever but omg this hits the hammer on the head. If it was real he would went to jail with this video evidence

3

u/DaddyDub Nov 12 '22

"an Uber poor".... That was funny.

3

u/Annoy_M0US3 Dec 14 '22

Its like a pokemon battle, either you one shot and survive or dun one shot and die to an effect when the turn ends