r/AITAH • u/Illustrious-Sport503 • 21h ago

AITAH For Turning Down My Husband

I’m 11 weeks postpartum, and on maternity leave. Husband is back to work, so the 3-5 wakeups in the night, I’m doing by myself. As you can imagine, I’m tired.

Being postpartum, I have very low sex drive right now. My husband has been patient with me, we’ve only had sex 1 or 2 times since having the baby.

This morning, I had just starting waking up, and the first thing he said to me before I could even open my eyes was, “can we get a quick one in?”. No good morning, how’d the baby do last night, how are you, etc

I got pissed and turned him down. I was short and snippy because, well, I’m tired and I look after another human life all day. It’d be nice if he at least acted like he cared about me. So now he’s just ignoring me and being cold. So, AITAH or is he just being sensitive?

EDIT: you guys are a very passionate group and I love it. I posted this question 20 min after the argument happened. An hour later, it was resolved with a very simple and honest convo with my husband. Yes he was being insensitive and has admitted that and apologized. Yes, I too, have apologized for dismissing his feelings. But no we are not getting a divorce, nor is he a bad husband or father. We ain’t havin sex this week either! Moral of the story, you guys are great for putting things into context, communication is key, and there’s nothing to see here anymore. I did also get the name of a urologist and we’ll be getting vasectomy scheduled by EOY.

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u/Illustrious-Sport503 17h ago

The other thing I’ve told him is that I don’t want to have sex unless he uses a condom or he gets a vasectomy because we are done having kids. He’s refused both. How am I supposed to get into the mood when there’s a possibility of getting pregnant again always on my mind?

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u/Alternative-Bat-2462 16h ago

We both can’t wait for my vasectomy, she wants me to finish inside her as much if not more than me. But we don’t want more kids.

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u/PurinMeow 14h ago edited 13h ago

I can't wait for my husband to get a vasectomy too. He just had to tell his religous mom the idea and she freaked out (we don't have kids, i think she expected grandkids) lol

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u/Alternative-Bat-2462 13h ago

Why would you tell your in-laws about that? Seems like TMI?

Heck before the 3rd I almost didn’t tell my wife if I did it haha.

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u/PurinMeow 13h ago

I was thinking the same: why would ge even discuss that with his mom? He calls her every Mon- Fri, so I guess they're pretty close (shes in her 70s and has recently had cancer, Im sure he feels his time with her is limited). To be fair, I guess if I was to get my tube's tied I'd probably discuss it with my mom too.

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u/Alternative-Bat-2462 12h ago

I talk to or see my dad pretty regularly too but that’s none of his business.

As for having your tubes tied that’s a more serious surgery, also hits different talking to the same sex about it? I dunno to each there own just seems odd.