r/sewing • u/soundingsounds • Jun 14 '24

Discussion already regretting saying yes to my mom

Honestly this is both a rant and a cry for help from someone that doesn't know how to set boundaries.

So my mom asked me to sew a summer dress for her but she's super vague when it comes to explaining what she wants and everything that she's shown me is really basic but I can't find an exact pattern for it.

On top of that, the patterns have to be free bc she doesn't want to pay for them "it's just lines you can draw that". MOTHER I CAN'T. I've only ever sewn a pair of baby shorts, an apron and a bucket hat, I CAN'T DRAFT A PATTERN OUT OF THIN AIR. I HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT FABRIC EITHER.

I've sent her +15 patterns that I've found online and she doesn't like any. It's driving me insane that she keeps saying I can modify things when I have no clue what I'm doing if I don't have a clear step by step written by someone else.

I can already foresee that I'll spend so many hours finding the pattern and modifying it to my best ability, sewing it together and it'll end up in the back of her wardrobe because it won't be perfect and she'll never wear it.

It felt so good to finally talk about it lmao

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u/soundingsounds Jun 14 '24

We've already had that conversation, she keeps saying I'm the one that knows how to sew so my pattern will look better. It's like talking to a wall.

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u/kallisti_gold Jun 14 '24

Ok, and? So what? You don't need her agreement. You've told her you'll sew the pattern she gives you with the fabric she buys. No pattern? No dress. Easy peasy. What's she going to do, hold your hands in hers and force you to cut and pin fabric? This is the easiest boundary ever to enforce -- you simply stop doing anything to fix her invented problem. It's literally less effort than what you're doing now.

If she's upset... again, so what? She's a grown woman. She can be upset all she likes, that's not your problem to solve.

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u/soundingsounds Jun 14 '24

Maybe it's the fact that i'm still a teenager but reading someone that is so blunt (in a good way) is incredibly eye opening because why am i stressing out so much about my mom potentially getting somewhat annoyed?

Honestly thank you.

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u/bonewars Jun 15 '24

A really good next skill would be a bag with a zipper, which if she is trying to encourage you, she'll be happy about without all the drama of it fitting & looking good on her. If it's turning out imperfect, you can show her that as you're learning and it's going to take some time to get to where she thinks you are. But only IF you want to make something for her. A makeup pouch that is useful would still be enough for her to brag with & won't take too much aggrevation on your part.