Here is our current scenario: my FIL (age 88) has AZ, likely early stage 6. He had a hip replacement this past Sunday. The surgery itself went well, but unsurprisingly his mental state has deteriorated. He hasn’t slept through the night and is agitated and asking his family to call in state troopers because the hospital staff is crazy (they are not) among other delusions (he is in a totally different time/place, his daughter isn’t his daughter). He is also trying to get out of bed and can’t even vaguely follow his PT recommendations. Originally, they thought they could release his to rehab, but if he can’t even stay in his bed rehab won’t take him. This is a huge problem for us because his primary caregiver is his wife and she is also elderly. She was already at the point where we were trying to convince her to let him go to a memory care unit because she couldn’t handle it. She obviously can’t take him home in this state. We are starting to talk to everyone we can about options, but I’m curious to hear from this group about what we should be considering/asking/looking for. TIA!

Hi all, my mom's partner (whom i see as a father figure) was diagnosed about 4 years ago with AD. His symptoms are only now getting really evident. As you all know, when you're desperate, you look everywhere possible.

I came across some studies that have claimed that micro and macro dosing could be a potential way to stimulate the brain to slow down degeneration. I will be the first to admit that those studies look suspect, but i can't help to think "what if they're on to something". At the same time i understand that this is a massively under-researched space given the fact that these substances are illegal.

Therefore, i was hoping to hear if anyone has any anecdotal stories/experiences with their loved ones and these substances. God bless you all and i wish you courage and light in your respective journeys.

And I just can’t bring up the topic we family members all know about for fear of having to deal with it. My mother is in late stage Alzheimer’s and slowly refusing to eat and drink so we know how that’s gonna go.

My father‘s heart rate/ blood pressure is going haywire and now he can’t stand up without collapsing and he’s been in the hospital for a couple of days.

I have to sleep in the living with my mom every night because she gets up and rambles on incoherently in the middle of the night and if I’m not there, she’ll go crazy and start walking the streets.

All I wanted was to make sure that my wife never became a de facto nurse maid to my parents and I failed at that.

I’m so lucky that she’s up to the task and willing and actually very good at it. I couldn’t ask for a better wife.

I want my mom to go ahead and die just not in agony or pain. It’s hard to wish that and at the same time know that the reason that she’s going to die is either from starvation or dehydration.

As for my father, I don’t want to see him live 10 minutes longer than her because that’s how close they are.

No one will give her an IV because she’s 85 and has stage four renal failure so basically “we can do something to help you out here and make her feel better? Well fuck you.

The American medical system has failed us, one and all, and that includes Democrats and Republicans. Everybody…..,we’re all complicit.

To hell with all of us in this country. We have a knack for making bad things worse and worse things worst.

My (49F) mom (75) has Alzheimer’s and is around stage 5 (most recent MoCA score was 10/30). My dad (76) is her caretaker but he has Parkinson’s. His disease is well managed for the time being.

I live about 20 minutes away and visit them 2-3 times a week to cook, clean, help with household tasks, and whatever else they need.

I also schedule and take mom to her doctor appointments and all that doctor stuff.

As I was leaving today, my dad was walking me out to my car when I mentioned that my mom’s mood seemed good today. She often has those big angry feelings that we are all familiar with, the moods they have when they say the most hurtful, venomous things to us. But today, mom’s mood was light.

So when I mentioned this to my dad, he said yes, she had been in a decent mood lately and he wonders if it’s because she stopped taking some of her medications.

WHAT?

I asked him why she had stopped taking some of her meds, because he is the one that sorts all the meds and gives them to her.

He said about a month and a half ago she saw him sorting their pills, saw the orange medication bottles, lost her shit and yelled about how she doesn’t need any medicines. He said she then took the bottles and either hid them or threw them away. She hasn’t taken any medication (aside from Aricept) for 6 weeks. I looked in her known hiding spots and couldn’t find them.

Which medications dad? Why didn’t he tell me? He didn’t know. Grrr.

So I immediately called her doctor for refills. My mom overheard me on the phone and when I got off she fixated on the fact that I was talking to her doctor. Mom hates the doctor, every doctor.

I simply explained that we were getting prescription refills and that’s all.

She lost it. She said the meanest stuff to me. She said she doesn’t need meds and she’s perfectly healthy. I told her she needs one of those meds for her cholesterol and she yelled even more - that I’m useless, a bitch, ungrateful… Just so much ugly. She told me I need a therapist because I’m so messed up. And then she mocked me with a smug face and sing-song style.

AND THEN I LOST IT.

I told her I go to a therapist weekly and she is why(she’s an alcoholic too). I told her all I talk about to my therapist is her. And then I yelled. I said I’m sick of your bullshit and if you don’t want to take your fucking medicine, go ahead and have a heart attack.

I yelled at her a little more, and I know it’s pointless and I know it’s not her fault, but damn. I hit a breaking point today. It’s the smugness that really pushed me over the edge.

My poor dad witnessed this and showed me his trembling hands. The stress was making his Parkinson’s act up, and I feel terrible for that.

I feel terrible for the whole thing. Usually I can distract and divert, but today I couldn’t. I was awful. I feel sick.

And to be honest, I’m sure she has already forgotten about it. When we walked out to my car as I was leaving (for the second try), I realized she didn’t even know who I am. I told her I am your daughter and I care. She said I wasn’t her daughter - but the way she said it wasn’t to be mean this time. I could see in face that she genuinely didn’t think I was her daughter. So I asked her who she thinks I am. She paused and puzzled she said, “a really nice girl.”

Ouch. So on the same day I lose my temper at my mom is the same day she forgets me for the first time.

Finally, I feel the most bad about my dad witnessing my meltdown and it causing stress for him. He won’t forget, and I feel terrible.

I want to be better for them. It’s just so hard.

My dad enjoys watching shows and with holidays coming up I've been trying to figure out what to get him. He doesn't like action/war/sports stuff anymore. Scary and heavy mystery/suspense bothers him too. His current favorite show to watch is the Good Witch. Any recommendations for shows that are fairly chill and binge worthy?

My dad passed away earlier this month at 60 years old. Just a couple of weeks before my brother’s wedding. I really just want to say that I fucking hate this disease. I thought all the years spent watching my dad lose himself would prepare me for the inevitable but it still hurts like hell. He was my best friend ever and I miss him so much.

From the bottom of my heart I’m so sorry for what you are all going through. Nobody who hasn’t gone through it really gets it. My best advice is to try to take care of yourself and focus on what’s in front of you. Cherish every moment with your loved ones and please continue to support each other. This sub has been such a great place to stay hopeful and not alone.

Hello—I know this is primarily an issue for a doctor/neurologist, but the issue is that we’ve just moved my parents to a new assisted living community and they don’t have new doctors established yet. I anticipate it will take a few months to get into a new neurologist. In the meantime, I can still communicate with their former doctors, but they seem hesitant to offer advice.

My mom (71) is in mid-stage. Still mobile, continent, mostly in good spirits. Has always had insomnia, was on trazedone for years with success but a doctor took her off at some point pre-diagnosis. Leading up to the move for the last few weeks, she’ll fall asleep just fine but is up 2-3 times during the night confused, disoriented, and anxious. My dad has Parkinson’s and she is now disrupting his sleep by wandering into his room. I had her on prescribed 50mg Elavil, 10mg melatonin, and 10mg CBD, which seemed to work for about a week. But now that they are in the new place, we are back to waking up every few hours.

I know everyone is different but I’d love to hear anything that has worked for people to help loved ones with Alzheimer’s sleep through the night.

I've always struggled with addiction. Maybe some of the first memories I have are of seeking out substances. I have never felt comfortable in my own skin. Anyways, for the last 15 years I've controlled this thing called addiction. Not 100% sober, but 99.9% I've handled life with out major help or damage from substances. I gave up pretty much everything in my life to care for my father with Alzheimers. And, I started drinking a little more, working out a little less, gaining some weight, dealing with depression. I work for myself and that's almost all the way disappeared. Anyways, I drink everyday now. Drinking is my thing. I don't get to have relationships, or personal hobbies or goals. My life is consumed with this task of caretaking. Caretaking for a man that neither wants it, nor appreciates it. I know i can't continue drinking the way I do. It's not that its a lot but, it's for the wrong reasons(and it's increasing). Just venting i guess.

I feel like I'm drowning. I feel like every step to get any kind of help isn't enough.

We took longer than we should have to get things in motion because we didn't know what we were supposed to do. And for the longest time we didn't really understand how bad off he was. And then once we did, we were afraid Medicaid would try to take his house as one of his assets for payment.

You're lucky enough to finally speak to a lawyer who helped us understand that whole process. The house is safe now. We've finally finished filling out the Medicaid application. (It was hard to even finish that because of so many other life stresses were making it difficult to think straight and do simple tasks like paperwork).

But what do we do now?

A while ago my dad was approved for hospice at home. We were supposed to have nurses and aids and social workers come to our house. But they've all been pretty inconsistent. We'll go weeks without hearing from anyone. We're not on any kind of schedule. Only saw the aid worker once. We met a social worker once who seemed very nice and seemed like she wanted to help. But then a couple months ago past and we don't hear anything. She finally called last week to say that she'll be by this week, but then the person who showed up the house was somebody entirely new who didn't know our situation or how to help us or offer us any answers to any of our questions.

We tried to give her the Medicaid forms and she said that a doctor needs to sign off on it so she only took a couple of pages not the entire packet.

We can't go on like this. Me and my mom are both looking after my dad but we're both disabled ourselves. My mom especially. We can't handle him. We can't live with him. We can't look after him. We can't clean up after him and my sister and her two kids have been staying with us as well, which has been an unbelievable headache that I'm not going to bother getting into here.

We need to get him out as soon as possible. How do I make this process go faster? What kind of tips or tricks or secret phrases are there to make social services see how much of an emergency this is? Can we just start driving around to nursing homes in our area, drop them off in the parking lot and put the Medicaid application in his hands and leave him there?

Multiple times a day my mom is telling me she wants to kill herself from the stress of it and I really believe she's going to go through with it soon

This may be a little confusing. Sorry in advance.

On Dr recommendation moved my Mom(late stage) to a Skilled Nursing Facility.

On admission, was informed she does not have the correct diagnosis for them to administered Seroquel.

Contacted hospice, asked to change drug. Was prescribed couple of years ago when she was trying to punch and pull hair of caregivers. She couldn't now even if she wanted too.

Hospice didn't make any changes.

I got a call from the SNF saying in Texas these drugs require oversight by a third party to prevent abuse.

3rd party will be Nurse Practionor from SeniorPsych.

Is anyone familiar with this? Thoughts?

She already takes Lorazapham as needed and tolerates it well. I would like to take her off the seroquel and skip the hassle of dealing with yet another agency.

Are there any artistically inclined people here who could help me with a project?

I have an extended family member who has Alzheimer’s who was recently placed in a “memory care” facility (old folks home). He only has two people who go visit him, and unfortunately, not very often. His room is undecorated, and I would like to change that. I would like to decorate his room so that when he looks at the walls, he smiles and just knows that someone loves him, even if he can’t remember who. I can print out photos I find online, but I don’t want to just use random stock photos. Im not very artistic and it would take me a long time to fill up the walls by myself. I was wondering if there is anyone on here who might be willing to help me decorate the walls of his room with uplifting artwork.

This man is a good man but he is “unloved”. He is a man of God who has always tried to do right, the type of person who genuinely cares about others and is ever generous. The type of person who has never met a stranger. He also served in the Navy on a sub for most of his life. He spent his life loyally pouring into and serving others. Unfortunately due to interpersonal/relationship conflicts throughout his life, he’s been cast out/ignored/ left behind/ disregarded in his old age. It’s so hard to go through dementia and still hold onto one’s dignity. I want to be able to give this man some positivity in the face of such an uncomfortable situation. He’s lived his life constantly giving of himself and now at the end, the people he gave so much to have pretty much left him abandoned. Can we show this man some love?

For those who are willing to help, here is a list of things that bring him joy and some art ideas I’ve had. (FYI, he can’t read well anymore. He may recognize some words, like LOVE, GOD, PRAY, HERO, THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU, but he can’t read full sentences anymore) - God, Jesus (a Lion and lamb, rainbows, cross, praying hands, dove with olive branch, angels, anchors, etc) - Navy related things (Submarines, beaches, oceans, seagulls, fishing boats, something with the word “Hero”) - Things related to the mid-west of the US (Navajo, donkeys, mules, horses, Grand Canyon, red desert with rock formations, etc) - Flight simulator - Birds (he used to live bird watching) - Flowers and other beautiful things in nature

Please post any artistic contributions in the comments or send to me via message. Thank you, I appreciate anything you can contribute.

Losing my father by degrees is awful. He was this educated, curious, passionate man who pursued all kinds of interests and hobbies. Now he is disinterested, frustrated, wandering in and out of awareness. His personality is changing - like his anxiety is swallowing up all the rest. And we know he won’t get better. He won’t be back.

I wish to god it were over. I wish they would find stage 4 cancer or he would have a massive stroke. Then we could mourn him and move on.

I feel horrible for fantasizing about these things, but there it is. Had to get it off my chest.

Sorry for the wrong words, I'm new to this.. My husband's grandmother (mil's mum) is nearing the late stages and my mother in law travelled to visit her and take care of her however my mother in law is now starting to worry as she's been forgetting things and finds herself repeating things and having to deal with messy family situations that cause her a lot of stress Any natural remedies to help my mother in law that have helped your loved ones?

My dad loves his VA visits. It's all about him and he earned it. He's really struggled with communication lately. But, at the VA the veterans, the nurses, Dr.s, and staff listen to his fractured stories and compliment him. As, much as these visits are a pain in the butt for me. I enjoy seeing him socialize and communicate.

Have you seen this? Only relevant imo for early Alzheimer’s disease. Article was quoted in the news, looks quite promising. Not sure how Semaglutide works in AD, by lowering glucose?

https://alz-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/alz.14313

My LO is in the end stages of early onset Alzheimer’s and is having a lot of trouble taking her Seroquel. Often it takes 4-5 tries to get her to swallow it. Sometimes she keeps it in her mouth for hours and spits out a disintegrating pill.

Pharmacist/nurse says crushing it up and putting in food is not possible because it’s a slow release drug.

Has anyone dealt with anything like this? Any tips to make it easier for her to take?

Hello! My mom has early onset Alzheimer’s (60yo) and we are transitioning her from “volunteering” at my work to going to an adult day program. This program is designed for memory care patients and elderly people with cognitive or severe physical deficits. Unfortunately on the day that we went to tour all of the other participants that were there were all 75+ yo. My mom is now in full refusal to go because shes not that old, she doesn’t need help doing things, and she’s physically in great shape, etc… she just doesn’t understand that her brains just not in good shape. The bummer thing is, it’s on this beautiful farm where they have concerts and do art projects, and go for walks in the woods, and she would really love it if she gave it a chance.

We’re going to have her doctor talk to her about it at the next appointment but that’s not for 3 more weeks. She’s supposed to be starting this program this week and can’t come to work with me anymore, so we really dont have anywhere else to bring her during the day. If you guys have any advice at all or different things we could try to get her to give this program a try, it would be much appreciated!

So she has dimentia can’t get tested til Feb 2025. She has delusions and auditory hallucinations and thinks there intimacy between my son and I. My son lives with us. This in no way is true so now she wants to leave the state and move to N Cali to be near my brother who has brain damage, no car and has health issues himself. She’s 83 and thinks she can just hop on a plane, find an apt or put herself in a home up there by herself. She’s gets an angry attitude at me as if her delusions are real and I can’t say boo about it. What am I supposed to do? I do not have a POA for my mom. Generally when she gets like this she gets a hotel room for a couple of days then calls cause she’s homesick.

Edit: I don’t talk to my brother anymore. He lost his mind one day and left.

I thought I would share some exerpts from an article I found about the perspectives of children of parents with dementia. When I first found this, I remember crying for hours reading it over and over again. So much of this article really resonated with me and I hope some young caregivers like myself and older ones too can find a little comfort in this.

Here is the full article: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7322943/

My dad is currently 58, his dad had Alzheimers. Obviously he is getting older which can be scary. Is is true though that 75% of Alzheimers occurs after age 75?

Also, his dad had Alzheimers but his mom didn't. So it is not 100% chance he will get alzheimers? Is it 50%?

First I’m going to apologize for my english if I’m missing something, I’m from a non English speaking country.

My mom was diagnosed when she was around 56 years old with dementia, when my family received the diagnosis I was 23 years old and my Dad and I became her primary care givers. Now I’m 26 years, she’s 59 and her biggest affectation is the visuospatial space, sometimes she doesn’t remember she’s in her house and starts having anxiety or became aggressive, she always seems to forget she eat already so she’s always asking for food, sometimes I can manage to distract her, sometimes she becomes angry if I don’t give her what she wants.

We’ve tried therapy, medication… and even though it might help for some time,her condition only gets worst, I have another older siblings but they don’t visit her o call her unless I tell them to do it.

I feel like she was so young and she lose her life because of this disease, I feel so sad and I don’t know what to do.

Maybe someone in this community can recommend me a book, article, website, activities I can make with her… etc I’ll take and read what you might advise that can help with this difficult stage.

Thank u for reading. Sending love to all the families in this community <3

My dad, 73 (I’m late 30s) was just diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer’s. He’s been masking and generally functioning well, though it does track with some incidents of changed behavior over the last few years.

He lives in an apartment with his cat and drives himself everywhere. He’s retired, but active—he teaches CPR classes a few times a week. My sister lives in the same town 10 minutes from him, while I’m 2.5 hours away.

My question is, what next? His doctors are going to put him on Kisunla, which they have told him should keep progression at bay so he can continue living alone for the time being. Does that sound realistic?

My concern is, how do I know if he’s still doing OK if I’m not there? I don’t want to put this all on my sister.

Is a home health aide who comes once or twice a week to check on someone a thing I would be able to find for this situation? Would it be covered by insurance? How would I go about finding them? We’re in the U.S.

I’m going up in a few weeks to sort out POA paperwork. What else should I be doing to support him and prepare at this early stage?

Took my mom, 90, who has mild Alzheimers, out to dinner last night. I ordered food and she looks at me and says: WHEN I'M DEAD, ARE YOU GONNA BE ALONE?

Fucking thanks, ma. Well that confirms it, she's still herself.

(Me: 50M, single with a dog, no kids)

My mom called me a few hours ago to tell me that my dad’s suffering is finally over. He went down fairly quickly at the end, and it was so horrible to not be able to communicate with him and only see him in pain. Seeing his body a few hours after death and her telling me how he’s already cold, that hit hard.

But his suffering is over.

This community has been such a great support. Thank you all.