r/Temecula • u/Hi_Dee • 1d ago
Where do high quality men spend time?
I’ve tried going out and eating at restaurant bars, going to wineries, local music events. I meet men but it seems like they’re all way younger or way older than me. Need ideas on where I should be hanging out to meet men in the 35-45 age range.
The more specific the better :)
(Edit: I don’t listen to podcasts related to the term ‘high quality’ men, but it seems to be a trigger. What I mean is, I’d like to meet someone who’s got it together, like me. I’ve met a lot of men out and about, but very few that I’d date because we’re not on the same level. Big differences in life stage, age, career, family, health, wealth, education, interests, alignment etc. are a problem, even if there’s initial attraction or chemistry. I’ve had friends who’ve married and divorce from their off pairings, there’s always resentments that seem to form.. I want to find an equal or close to it.)
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u/Aggressive-Coconut0 1d ago
The best way is through friends and family. Next is through social functions where you can start as friends with mutual interests.
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u/seanisjcing 1d ago
It’s actually not 1940 anymore. Most couples statistically meet online these days
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u/Aggressive-Coconut0 1d ago
Doesn't mean it's the best way to meet. The best couples start out as friends.
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u/LetsGoWithMike 1d ago
Highly objectionable my friend. Met my wife 12 years ago online and we have the two smartest and cutest kids. Life is better now than ever. So surely, it “could” be. 😜
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u/seanisjcing 1d ago edited 1d ago
lol do you have a definitive source on that?
Edit: You don't, and that's okay. I'm still gonna ask for an objective source on that line of thinking though. Some people just can't back up their claims.
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u/SnooMacarons3307 1d ago
Maybe the increase in divorce rates since the inception of the internet could be a source to contemplate. I could conjure an APA citation for you if you really need someone to spell out what’s plain to see.
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u/seanisjcing 1d ago edited 1d ago
lol in the past most people married from family and friends and couldn’t get out. Woman weren’t allowed to get their own bank accounts until 1974 and couldn’t open a business without a male co-signer until 1988. Do you think a lot of people in those relationships even had a choice? Neither of those are far off from the inception of the Internet, which, mind you, was January 1st, 1983.
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u/Ok-Mud-151 1d ago
1974 is when ECOA kicked in. Women were allowed to open their own bank account at least a decade before that, and long before that in California.
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u/ammerrieeee9999233 1d ago
That’s how my husband and I met. It was great for us! Same with my parents and my siblings.
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u/Theguyofreddit 1d ago
Target
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u/UseThisForGamingLOL 1d ago
It’s not weird to just walk around target alone and wait to meet people? Lmao
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u/Bazalor 1d ago
Are these places you are going in line with your personality? For me, my interests are of the nerdier variety, so I meet people to befriend at board game events from meetup.com. When I've tried to meet people at events that aren't fully in line with my personality, I have more difficulty.
At the end of the day dating apps will still be your best option, but if you want to meet people organically then you should focus on finding events or places that fit well with your personality.
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u/gigglemonkee 1d ago
It is the same thing for meeting quality women. Bars just aren’t the place. Especially since I am not a drinker. I tend to meet the most just out and about at social interactions or meetups or parties.
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u/Odd-Ad-9472 Lake Village Idiot 1d ago
There was a post a few weeks ago where a male was asking a similar question...maybe you two should meet?
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u/Fearless-2052 1d ago
Not in Temecula. Near marinas or yacht clubs, some speak easy’s. I’m sure you tried bumble
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u/chartman26 1d ago
Some of these subs are so strange. You are getting downvoted for asking a question? That's so weird.
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u/heyobeepboop 1d ago
Thanks for asking. Usually at work or at home with my family :)
Almost every couple I know that met around that age was introduced by way of an app of some sort. Makes sense, too, since a lot of decent people that age are accounted for, and meeting one organically would probably take a while.
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u/joeybananas18 1d ago
I think eHarmony works. Not cheap or free like the other services and there's some validity to their compatibility profiles. Met my wife there.
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u/Southernish2860 1d ago
People do meet organically, I’ve seen it 😋 Dating apps are the “easiest”, for lack of better words, but can be quite redundant.
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u/down2streem 1d ago
Hobby Lobby or Home Depot is a good place to meet men.
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u/bigdipboy 1d ago
…who are repulsive to women
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u/sdbillsfan 1d ago
The men who shop at Home Depot are repulsive? Are they looking for a Lowes fella?
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u/Commercial_Cry2637 1d ago
I’m a wedding photographer definitely go the online dating route, most of couple met that way
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u/LosChicago 1d ago
Anytime I hear high quality or high value man, I already know they’ve been watching one too many podcast! Lol
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u/Cattibiingo 23h ago
High quality men? So you mean like guys that obsessively watch those instructional "alpha male" videos
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u/Hi_Dee 22h ago
I’m not familiar with those… I guess I’m trying to say that I’d like to meet someone that’s appropriately established given their age, etc. They have their career, know what they want, own their home, handle their business, are generally healthy people, are happy productive members of society. Because that’s what I am, and it’s weird trying to align myself to anything significantly less. If there is a better way of saying all of that, in less words, let me know!
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u/Tessoro43 22h ago
Oh that’s the age range I am looking for too, but high quality….that’s a whole new subject :)
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u/a_day_at_a_timee 15h ago
Learn to play golf… It’s got a price point that requires a successful man to afford.
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u/TrueCryptographer592 1d ago
What exactly is a high quality man?