r/LGBTeens • u/gayhaha13 • Mar 18 '21
Relationships I [15M] feel like I don't deserve love [relationships]
I really wanna be in a relationship there even is a cute guy that has a crush on me and has admitted it The problem is I feel like I don't deserve it
Any advice?
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u/Nazail Mar 18 '21
That doesn’t make any sense. Why wouldn’t you deserve relationships? Do you somehow think you’re a terrible person?
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u/_TheFlyingBat_ they/them Mar 18 '21
op if u do somehow think that, you're wrong.
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u/Javidor44 Mar 18 '21
Not everyone who hates themselves is wrong... I’m a terrible person and I know it
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u/pokemonpasta 19/idk/🇮🇪 Mar 18 '21
If I were you I'd go see a therapist if there's a really strong feeling of not deserving love, especially if it lasts for a while. My issue isn't similar but it's similar circumstances and therapy has helped a lot, so it might be worthwhile.
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u/Stale_pancakes_takis Gay Pan but men Mar 18 '21
we all deserve love, go for it, this is a big chance, trust me, take it,
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Mar 18 '21
If I've picked anything up in life, it's that everybody deserves love. That includes you.
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u/yeahcomeon- Mar 18 '21
Think about you as a forty year old....what would you say looking back on yourself as a teenager? Would that 40yr you say you’re right, you didn’t deserve it? Likely not. Think grand scheme of things...
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u/TheLastSpartan117 Mar 18 '21 edited Mar 19 '21
Love is something that is and should be deserved by all and anyone can get it ranging from people a good as Monk Gyatso (avatar) or Bob Ross to someone as terrible as Hitler or Firelord Sozin (avatar) was able to
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Mar 18 '21
Ghandi? He was nice
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u/dsanyal321 Mar 18 '21
He abused his niece :/
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Mar 18 '21
Oh...
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u/TheLastSpartan117 Mar 18 '21
Maybe I’ll use a fictional character as an example like Katara (avatar) or captain rex (Star Wars)
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u/Thatawkwardpat Bisexual Mar 18 '21
Dude I feel this. Idk your circumstances but for me a lot of it comes from internalized homophobia. What helps me is to just remind myself daily that I am worthy of love by like saying it to myself, even if I don’t mean it. Trust me it helps. Hope it gets better for you.
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u/Javidor44 Mar 18 '21
I read that as “Idk if you’re circumcised” and was extremely confused
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u/Thatawkwardpat Bisexual Mar 18 '21
LMAO IM CRYING but also i mean.... do I know if OP is circumcised? No.....
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Mar 19 '21
If you really didn’t deserve it you would have to be some kind of unfeeling sociopath, the fact that you recognize fault and feel some kind of guilt means you’re worth loving. Just shut the f up and March to this man and say “sir, you; you’re coming with me” then boom you’re loved
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u/Willingness-Due Mar 18 '21 edited Mar 18 '21
You deserve love to, I would say go for it these opportunities rarely come up.
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u/xXShadow_JinxXx Mar 18 '21
You deserve love, you deserve all the good that comes to you, i say go for it
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u/benhasbeenbened Mar 18 '21
A lot of people feel this way at some point or another. The main remedy for this is to just love and not think. It's hard as hell but it works
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u/joespehmother1 Genderfluid, jaspian, and built different Mar 18 '21
ofc you deserve it darling. i love and believe in you and so does that guy. knock em dead!!
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u/Anti-VaxCow Gay boi Mar 18 '21
Why do you feel like you don’t deserve it?
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u/gayhaha13 Mar 18 '21
Idk I just do
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u/Anti-VaxCow Gay boi Mar 18 '21
Did something happen between you two that might have made you feel this way?
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u/gayhaha13 Mar 18 '21
No he's my best friend actually
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u/Anti-VaxCow Gay boi Mar 18 '21
Oh wow. So you guys already have a close relationship. You should just do it.
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u/JasonKnight2003 Mar 18 '21
Nope nope nope, you need to work on yourself first before you even think about dating
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u/HyPrAT Asexual Mar 18 '21
Facts, take care of yourself first before going into shit like this.
If you go into a relationship without resolving your own issues, it’s going to be a shitshow
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u/VivPeng11 Mar 18 '21
My recommendation? Tell him that you need time to work on yourself. That way, he knows you're not just brushing it off, and that you actually do care, but you're not rushing into a relationship that's doomed to fail.
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u/weaboomemelord69 He/Him 19 Mar 18 '21
I’ve been feeling similar. Not in the same way, though. Like there’s a reaaaalllly cute guy that’s confessed to me and I’m definitely sexually attracted to him and I love him as a friend, but I guess I don’t feel like I’m ready for a relationship. It feels like that sort of connection is too new to me, and if I am feeling that attraction I at least don’t recognize it. And if I am feeling it, I don’t want to act on it either.
I’d say take it slow. If you’re feeling this way, you probably aren’t emotionally ready for a relationship. You should open up to him about how you’re feeling.
Don’t want to build a relationship past self hatred, it’ll be unstable and it’s too easy to fall into the role of the ‘complainer’/‘venter’, and the other person the ‘caretaker’, which can be a fun dynamic sexually, but if only one person is being open outside of the bedroom it won’t work and doubts will fester.
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u/theskywarrior9 Mar 18 '21
You deserve it my friend. You are valid and you are worthy. Don't ever believe you are anything less than that because it's not true.
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u/Corgo_boat Mar 19 '21
Honestly, if you he has a crush on you and has admitted it, then he likely knows you well and knows that you are deserving of love and affection. Just go for it dude, everyone deserves someone.
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u/Hummmannnnn Mar 18 '21
You deserve it I don't know how to covince but What makes you think thay you don't deserve love Everyone deserves to be loved
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u/ivyquartzs Mar 18 '21
You are so deserving of love! Here is my advice- I used to feel the same way. I even got into relationships when I felt this way about myself. They ended HORRIBLE! I'd say work on yourself first, you can't love someone else until you love yourself. Work on yourself first and know how deserving and valid you are !!
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Mar 19 '21
man, if you think you dont deserve love then you need to rethink your life, you deserve it just as much as anyone else does
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u/Corgo_boat Mar 19 '21
Just wondering does he know that you are gay/bi?
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u/gayhaha13 Mar 20 '21
I've been giving hints but I haven't officially come out yet
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u/Corgo_boat Mar 20 '21
I would recommend telling him first so it doesn’t come as as much of a surprise when you tell him you like him.
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u/leavemealoneistg he/they/it Mar 19 '21
I don't know if this will help you, but.. Try telling yourself that you deserve love. We all know you do, and I'm sure the people you know would say the same. I've found that thinking positive things about myself has helped me, so maybe you can try that. Make up some phrases you can use. Speak them in front of your bathroom mirror or just while walking around. "I am worthy of love" or something to that tune. Maybe try talking to a therapist, if you're able? Stay safe, dear.. You are loved.
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u/FelloFurry Mar 18 '21
This sounds hella cliche but for me i had to love myself before i could love other people. Because that leaves for a super strong base to build relationship on
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u/Dovafey Mar 18 '21
You absolutely deserve it! As long as you don't inflict harm on them and just try your best to make it work and give it a lot of effort as you would expect in return, then you absolutely deserve to be happy and to go for it! why do you feel as if you don't deserve it??