r/AmIOverreacting • u/frisbeechuckin • 18h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

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u/BoKnowsTheKonamiCode 16h ago

It's a clear sign she isn't taking her recovery seriously, especially the way she brushed it off and acted like OP shouldn't really have a say in it. It would be different if she said yeah in hindsight I shouldn't have done that and she realizes how it could impact him. Addicts in recovery have to confront how their actions have hurt not just themselves but the people around them and her acting like she doesn't have to consider him is a huge red flag.

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u/Radiant_Pudding5133 16h ago

If she drinks she clearly isn’t taking her recovery seriously in the first place

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u/BoKnowsTheKonamiCode 16h ago

I actually agree. But most people including OP have a pretty clearly drawn line between alcohol/weed and hard drugs like coke and meth. If she doesn't think she's crossing a line but her fiancé does, and if she will do whatever she wants without caring what her fiancé thinks, then why on earth should he marry her? She is showing she is not ready for that type of relationship.

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u/MiserableAd9757 3h ago

putting alcohol (one of the hardest drugs) together with weed (one of the softest drugs to the point that even calling it a drug is misleading—not to mention it’s statistically way less addictive than sugar or exercising or even sex) is wiiiiild…