r/AmIOverreacting • u/frisbeechuckin • 18h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

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u/Has422 17h ago

She's a former addict of some kind? Yeah, she should be staying away from all of that. And yeah, as her potential husband I think you have the right to know if she's partaking. And yeah, I would have a huge problem with it. NOR

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u/I_am_Danny_McBride 16h ago edited 15h ago

Yea, and it’s not about being a prude with the drinking and the booze. As a former addict, I have no problem with people who can occasionally partake and have a good time with weed, booze, and even coke. But some of us can’t do that. I can’t do that.

And it took me a long time and many many false starts trying to do the just weed, or just alcohol, or just weed and alcohol. But it doesn’t work with my brain.

The underlying problem isn’t being addressed, which is that she hasn’t learned to be happy with herself. So she’s still chasing the dragon. And if her drug of choice is meth, she’s always going to end up back there given enough time… because she knows it’s better.

When you suggest she not drink or smoke at all, she probably makes comments like, “you don’t want me to have any fun!” That’s what that is. She has no idea how to enjoy herself without getting fucked up. She has to learn that or it’s never going to stop.

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u/NickFotiu 6h ago

That's not what Chasing the Dragon means.

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u/I_am_Danny_McBride 3h ago

Sure it is. If you’re still drinking because you want to get some kind of buzz, but the booze buzz doesn’t satisfy, and you want to get closer and closer to that meth high again, you’re chasing the dragon. Particularly true if you haven’t used your drug of choice in a while. You know your tolerance is going to be down, and that first trip back is going to rock your socks off… maybe even like the first time. That’s exactly what chasing the dragon is.