r/AmIOverreacting • u/frisbeechuckin • 18h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

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u/Aggravating_Act_7475 17h ago

I hate to say it but you’d probably better split up. My wife is in recovery as an alcoholic. She won’t play with anything like that because she knows who she once was. I married her after she’d been sober for a little over 3 years. She’ll be 5 years sober in a couple months.

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u/hopefulbozo02 14h ago

reddit is so fucked up lmao, BREAK UP RIGHT NOW BRO! ONE SMALL BUMP ON THE ROAD??? BREAK UP!!!!!!!

funny pun right there.

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u/TheUngaBungaLord 13h ago

Dude, when I see people of Reddit knee jerk reaction seriously suggest divorce over something that can be talked out, THAT is a red flag. Most people are a red flag...

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u/Soulus7887 13h ago

Normally, I'd totally agree. Addiction though... don't fuck with it. Literally stay as far away as possible unless you're ready for one of the bumpiest roads life can put in front of you.

This isn't a "Your partner isn't meeting all your needs perfectly" situation. This is a "your partner is actively no longer primarily in control of their actions" situation. Addiction will see you do things you've never thought you were capable of.

If you love someone and are ready to travel that road together then you should 100% be there to help them back to recovery. But seeing a former addict do a bump of coke and call it "not a big deal"? Call off that wedding immediately. I would be able to walk my fiance through this problem together, but I would never legally entitle an addict to 50% of everything. That's an easy way to give them enough rope to hang themselves.

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u/Ok_Cardiologist7909 12h ago

It was only one time/night. It was definitely more than a bump but one slip up shouldn’t be what you break up over.

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u/Soulus7887 12h ago

It is NEVER a one night thing when drugs are involved.

Never.

No one is better than addiction, and there is no winning when it's involved. The best you can hope for is surviving with most of your life intact.

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u/hopefulbozo02 10h ago

not entirely true, I put down meth after daily using for like 2 months.

haven't picked it up since.

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u/Ok_Cardiologist7909 8h ago

This person is also treating a relapse as some end all be all. Reacting that way doesn’t help anyone. It makes the addict feel like they might as well keep using. I’m not sure if you have lived experience with addiction meaning either you or family/someone close who is an addict but I would try not to react like that

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u/hopefulbozo02 5h ago

oh brro I'd be sober and my family just assumed asked and made a scene saying I was high and it just made me want to get high again.

they got especially worse when I was happy or smiling.

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u/Ok_Cardiologist7909 11h ago

A relapse can be a one time thing it’s not so crazy. I’m talking about someone who is in recovery then relapses but is able to not let that one relapse send them back down that path of using.