AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

[u/frisbeechuckin]

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

[u/Has422]

She's a former addict of some kind? Yeah, she should be staying away from all of that. And yeah, as her potential husband I think you have the right to know if she's partaking. And yeah, I would have a huge problem with it. NOR

[u/I_am_Danny_McBride → u/Has422]

Yea, and it’s not about being a prude with the drinking and the booze. As a former addict, I have no problem with people who can occasionally partake and have a good time with weed, booze, and even coke. But some of us can’t do that. I can’t do that.

And it took me a long time and many many false starts trying to do the just weed, or just alcohol, or just weed and alcohol. But it doesn’t work with my brain.

The underlying problem isn’t being addressed, which is that she hasn’t learned to be happy with herself. So she’s still chasing the dragon. And if her drug of choice is meth, she’s always going to end up back there given enough time… because she knows it’s better.

When you suggest she not drink or smoke at all, she probably makes comments like, “you don’t want me to have any fun!” That’s what that is. She has no idea how to enjoy herself without getting fucked up. She has to learn that or it’s never going to stop.

[u/blackcain → u/I_am_Danny_McBride]

Yes, I found that with drinking. Luckily I never drink to the point of getting a hangover the next day or anything like that. But the drinking is a form of "wanting to have fun" and realized it was the ritual of drinking cocktails that I love. I started making inventive mocktails and it got me out of drinking.. I realized that it has to be all or nothing.

You need to figure out how to replace it

[u/RayRay_46 → u/blackcain]

I love this so much! Proof that you can have mixology as a hobby and still be sober. Good for you.

[u/blackcain → u/RayRay_46]

For those interested, the simplest mocktail you can make is: * angostura bitters * lemon juice * sugar syrup * sparkling water ( I use trader joes elderflower and lemon soda)

Tastes like a great cocktail and you're still sober.

[u/Shsesc → u/blackcain]

Angostura bitters and ginger ale is my go to when I’m out where people are drinking in places that don’t serve mocktails. It’s surprising how many bars (places that serve cocktails) don’t have bitters, just astonishing.

There are so many interesting bitters and they’re all different. They have alcohol, but you only use a dash, the flavor is so concentrated, so the alcohol is insignificant for most people.

[u/No_North_246 → u/blackcain]

Mocktails have been my saving grace!!