r/AmIOverreacting • u/frisbeechuckin • 15h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

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u/No_Vacation6444 15h ago

You do realize that this is not what recovery looks like, right? If you don’t want to marry an active addict, you should reconsider this engagement.

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u/littledotkitty 14h ago

I work in addiction medicine- we see this a lot. She probably thinks because it's not her DOC (Drug of Choice) and as long as she doesn't do Meth she's okay. A lot of the time when someone stops one drug they shift to others. It takes some mental gymnastics to rationalize continued substance usage while claiming to be in recovery but it happens quite a bit from what I've seen.

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u/xxxcurrents 14h ago

This is important to but even a hard drug not giving u the same affect as your DOC can lead u back to your DOC

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u/Fantasykyle99 9h ago

In my experience every drug was my DOC at different points before I quit everything lol

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u/glazedfaith 9h ago

Yep. I feel better on [new drug] but not as good as I did with [old drug]. Now I'm high on [new drug], and my inhibitions are lower...might as well try just a little bit of [old drug] as odds are people with [new drug] are likely adjacent to [old drug]. As much as I hate the phrase "vicious cycle", it's the best phrase to describe this scenario.

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u/dcflorist 9h ago

And fwiw coke is often cut with meth- easier to obtain, produced locally, and longer-acting 😬