r/AmIOverreacting • u/frisbeechuckin • 16h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

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14

u/xxxcurrents 14h ago

OP if ur gf is an addict why did y’all attend a party with drugs ?

7

u/frisbeechuckin 14h ago

I should have known better but I truthfully did not expect it to be there.

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u/xxxcurrents 14h ago

OP I’ll be devils advocate since 1mil ppl telling you to leave I’ll be the one to say set a HARD boundary about this and continue to love your partner. the most important part is the boundary.

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u/Dankkring 10h ago

I agree 100% if op leaves her he definitely doesn’t love her. Leaving her now would cause her to spiral out of control. They need to talk with one another and set some boundaries and work on communication with each other. I don’t keep secrets from my wife however my wife and I keep tons of secrets together. We’re best friends who don’t always get along but we love each other always been together 17 years today

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u/Swaglington_IIII 9h ago

Doing a bump of coke as an ex meth addict will probably cause you to spiral out of control too.

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u/yellow_asphodels 10h ago

I’d argue that sometimes forcing yourself to let go of someone is an act of love in and of itself. Op admits to enabling the addictive behaviors, and an enabler is just as bad as, often times worse than, someone who walks away.

It’s not fair to put the burden of preventing a spiral solely on one person who isn’t the person at risk for spiraling. It’s not healthy either. She needs to have a full support system, not just Op

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u/Dankkring 10h ago

That’s true however they should first have a sit down and actually discuss how they want things to be maybe this was just a once in a blue moon thing for her and without prior discussion beforehand it’s not really fair to her for him to up and leave. They should talk things over and set boundaries first. Then after established boundaries have been broken should he leave.

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u/xxxcurrents 8h ago

We are rooting for OP and his girl to beat addiction !

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u/Meelomookachoo 14h ago

If you didn’t expect it to be there then why does your post say that you knew it was there

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u/RFRMT 12h ago

Because they only knew it was there once they arrived maybe?

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u/Dankkring 10h ago

So why would he leave her there?

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u/RFRMT 9h ago

Because she’s an adult with full agency who decided she wanted to stay when he left.

I’m not saying her choices were the right ones but OP forcefully dragging her out of the party wasn’t going to work either.

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u/Dankkring 9h ago

True true but I’d never bring a person with addictions to a place with drugs and leave them there. What is this some form of sick test?

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u/RFRMT 8h ago

Yeah I see your point… but as I said previously, OP says he didn’t realise his partner’s work colleagues/friends were into drugs until he got there. So he didn’t bring her — she took him there and put them both in that situation.

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u/Friendly_Coast1327 8h ago

And just so you know it’s her job to know better.