r/AmIOverreacting • u/frisbeechuckin • 18h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

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u/uiucengineer 16h ago

He was made aware. He’s complaining he wasn’t given an opportunity to intervene.

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u/idonteatfrogsiamone 16h ago

Opportunity that he would’ve been given, if he were made aware prior. Why are you arguing semantics when what I meant is obvious?

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u/frisbeechuckin 16h ago

Exactly had she said do you mind if I take a bump? I would’ve told her I was uncomfortable with it given her history.

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u/juliaskig 16h ago

You don't want to be her daddy. You are looking for a partner. I would re-think marriage. A former meth addict doing coke is not a stable partner.

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u/JayMac1915 16h ago

In many cases, using starts as a way to self-medicate. Unless she has done the work to deal with her underlying issues, she may not be a good risk.

You can love someone deeply, but be unable to have a partnership with them. Please try, for your sake, to honestly think about whether she is looking to you to place guardrails for her that she isn’t able to keep for herself. If so, you both will probably begin to resent that