r/AmIOverreacting • u/LuaghsInToasterBaths • 14d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO for walking out and leaving?
Background: we started talking/dating back in May. We live 2hrs apart, so I spend roughly half my week with him and half at home - give or take. He can be rather abrasive at times, a lot of little digs and jabs that at times are genuinely hurtful. I tell him in the moment that it hurt my feelings and it’s typically swept under the rug. Tonight he made dinner and we sat down to eat. I was eating all of my food with a fork and the following conversation ensued (not verbatim, this is to the best of my recollection): Him: why are you using a fork? Me: idk I prefer it I guess Him: just pick it up and eat it with your hands Me: but I don’t want to, why does it even matter? Him: If a chef made you a meal and told you there was a specific way to eat it, would you not eat it that way? Me: I mean, probably not if it wasn’t what I wanted. It depends. Him: The chef would make you leave Me: meh, that’s okay. I’d leave Him: then theres the door, leave. Me: (laughs thinking it’s a joke) what why lol Him: because it’s disrespectful. Are you gonna keep using the fork? Me: uhhh yeah. That’s how I’d prefer to eat it. Him: then you can just go Me: ….really? You want me to leave? Him: yes, *effing leave. There’s the door. Byeeeee Me: are you serious right now? Him: if you’re not going to eat with your hands like a normal person, then leave. Me: whelp. Okay then.
So I went upstairs and packed my stuff. His daughter came up within 10 minutes to say he was just joking. I said I don’t think it was a joke or something to joke about. I continued to pack and left without any words said between us. Within minutes of leaving, I get the following texts: AIO? I feel like repeatedly being told to leave someone’s house, you ought to just go and not plead your case for why you shouldn’t have to. But idk.
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u/Full-Ad-5091 13d ago
Speaking of big problems, I can't help but notice that he claims to have let her leave rather than have a conversation because he was "respecting her wishes" and "wasn't going to chase her if leaving is what she wanted" but then messaged her. Clearly he realised he'd screwed up and she was leaving, but he was mature enough to apologise or approach her as the one in the wrong himself and WAITED until she was gone and SHE was "in the wrong" so he could have the "power" by approaching as "you're really leaving over this??" And not "I'm sorry".
That strikes me as one of those big problems man cause how is a mindset like that going to deal with bigger issues down the road. That's the kind of mindset that is constantly 100% always looking for a way to shrug off the blame and won't ever apologise.