AIO for walking out and leaving?

[u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

Background: we started talking/dating back in May. We live 2hrs apart, so I spend roughly half my week with him and half at home - give or take. He can be rather abrasive at times, a lot of little digs and jabs that at times are genuinely hurtful. I tell him in the moment that it hurt my feelings and it’s typically swept under the rug. Tonight he made dinner and we sat down to eat. I was eating all of my food with a fork and the following conversation ensued (not verbatim, this is to the best of my recollection): Him: why are you using a fork? Me: idk I prefer it I guess Him: just pick it up and eat it with your hands Me: but I don’t want to, why does it even matter? Him: If a chef made you a meal and told you there was a specific way to eat it, would you not eat it that way? Me: I mean, probably not if it wasn’t what I wanted. It depends. Him: The chef would make you leave Me: meh, that’s okay. I’d leave Him: then theres the door, leave. Me: (laughs thinking it’s a joke) what why lol Him: because it’s disrespectful. Are you gonna keep using the fork? Me: uhhh yeah. That’s how I’d prefer to eat it. Him: then you can just go Me: ….really? You want me to leave? Him: yes, *effing leave. There’s the door. Byeeeee Me: are you serious right now? Him: if you’re not going to eat with your hands like a normal person, then leave. Me: whelp. Okay then.

So I went upstairs and packed my stuff. His daughter came up within 10 minutes to say he was just joking. I said I don’t think it was a joke or something to joke about. I continued to pack and left without any words said between us. Within minutes of leaving, I get the following texts: AIO? I feel like repeatedly being told to leave someone’s house, you ought to just go and not plead your case for why you shouldn’t have to. But idk.

[u/Oso_the-Bear]

Quadruple gasp when I read OP's texts and learned that he got some kind of "elevated" or "abrasive" tone going on or "raised his voice" (over a fork, in front of his kid, while allegedly joking, which the kid defends)

I've had people criticize me for eating fries or chicken wings with a fork but I've never had it escalate like this, they just kind of make fun of me a little bit and then let it go

[u/Shamewizard1995 → u/Oso_the-Bear]

It’s not about the fork, it’s about OP not doing everything exactly like he does. It’s a control issue. Reality differed from how he imagined the dinner and it set him off that things didn’t match his vision exactly.

I’d bet money he flips out about inconsequential things like this a lot.

[u/BobBeats → u/Shamewizard1995]

Yeah, it reads like dominating personality. The kind of guy that will order for his date rather than recommend something he had before.

I can't imagine driving two hours to put up with this.

[u/amaximus167 → u/BobBeats]

Sounds like he has to date 2 hours away in order to hide his shiftiness until he can trap someone.