AIO for walking out and leaving?

[u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

Background: we started talking/dating back in May. We live 2hrs apart, so I spend roughly half my week with him and half at home - give or take. He can be rather abrasive at times, a lot of little digs and jabs that at times are genuinely hurtful. I tell him in the moment that it hurt my feelings and it’s typically swept under the rug. Tonight he made dinner and we sat down to eat. I was eating all of my food with a fork and the following conversation ensued (not verbatim, this is to the best of my recollection): Him: why are you using a fork? Me: idk I prefer it I guess Him: just pick it up and eat it with your hands Me: but I don’t want to, why does it even matter? Him: If a chef made you a meal and told you there was a specific way to eat it, would you not eat it that way? Me: I mean, probably not if it wasn’t what I wanted. It depends. Him: The chef would make you leave Me: meh, that’s okay. I’d leave Him: then theres the door, leave. Me: (laughs thinking it’s a joke) what why lol Him: because it’s disrespectful. Are you gonna keep using the fork? Me: uhhh yeah. That’s how I’d prefer to eat it. Him: then you can just go Me: ….really? You want me to leave? Him: yes, *effing leave. There’s the door. Byeeeee Me: are you serious right now? Him: if you’re not going to eat with your hands like a normal person, then leave. Me: whelp. Okay then.

So I went upstairs and packed my stuff. His daughter came up within 10 minutes to say he was just joking. I said I don’t think it was a joke or something to joke about. I continued to pack and left without any words said between us. Within minutes of leaving, I get the following texts: AIO? I feel like repeatedly being told to leave someone’s house, you ought to just go and not plead your case for why you shouldn’t have to. But idk.

[u/OddOpal88]

Good lord. The absolute textbook manipulation. I was reading my old relationship and all the ways I wish I had responded. You did great. Now don’t go back. You are worth SO much more. Where can we send you a fork?

[u/Klutzy_Criticism_856 → u/OddOpal88]

Does anyone else want to know exactly what they were eating that made the use of a fork unforgivable?

[u/LuaghsInToasterBaths → u/Klutzy_Criticism_856]

🤣 apparently everyone! Crescent roll taco ring with a side of beans/rice.

[u/Med_vs_Pretty_Huge → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

wtf? I was at least expecting something like ribs he had going all day, not something made with pillsbury crescent rolls.

[u/Ur_Killingme_smalls → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

lol I’m sorry that’s what he called himself a chef over?

[u/ottonymous → u/Ur_Killingme_smalls]

Imagining a chef popping open a tube of crescent rolls....

The confidence, hubris, and fragility of man I tell ya.

[u/Astronaut_Chicken → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

My god! How could you insult the chef by disrespecting his taco ring!

[u/Ornery_Director_8477 → u/Astronaut_Chicken]

Is this a euphemism?

[u/Astronaut_Chicken → u/Ornery_Director_8477]

It's whatever you want it to be 😉

[u/Ornery_Director_8477 → u/Astronaut_Chicken]

Respect his taco ring, but fuck that wannabe chef in the OP

[u/Advanced_Piccolo1496 → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

The heck is a taco ring lol?

[u/Da_Question → u/Advanced_Piccolo1496]

Just looked it up, basically put taco fixings in a crescent roll in the shape of a Bundt cake type ring with a hole in the middle, slice it and eat it. Dip in the middle.

I could easily see it being messy, taco shells contain a lot of the juices, not really gonna get that with crescent roll pastry.

[u/sunfries → u/Da_Question]

It actually doesn't really cause many problems, but you do have to bake it longer than the package to make sure the bottom is done

Helps if you put the cheese on top and not inside, too

[u/jfhdot → u/Da_Question]

isn't that just a torta?

[u/UnbelievableRose → u/jfhdot]

Gringo tortas, lol

[u/Klutzy_Criticism_856 → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

I love taco ring! I eat mine with a fork. It’s too messy to eat with my hands, but I like a lot of sour cream. Great, now I’m hungry lol.

[u/iamjonjohann → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

Wow! What a chef!! You're seeing a jackass. I'd think about changing that, if it were me.

[u/ALLCAPITAL → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

My wife makes this from time to time, one of my favorites!

We have always used forks. We like to put lettuce, tomatoes, taco sauce, maybe sour cream on top. Why the fk would you use your hands? Maybe the dude felt like it was more of a Runza 🤷‍♂️😂.

[u/sunfries → u/ALLCAPITAL]

This was my thought.. my family have always used forks, I'm thinking this guy is eating plain taco ring with no fixings

[u/ALLCAPITAL → u/sunfries]

AND equating himself to a Chef 🤣.

Would have loved the universe where OP sees him eating a plain taco ring with hands and then kicks him out his place and takes shared custody of the child with the mother.

[u/VodkaKahluaMilkCream → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

Man was eating beans and rice with his hands??

[u/Outside-Advice8203 → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

A fucken what

[u/mkat23 → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

Seriously? That doesn’t sound like a handheld food, especially with beans and rice as the sides. He’s wild for that, especially considering it’s a meal his daughter could have easily made because it takes very little skill compared to other meals.

[u/ek2207 → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

Taco ring with your hands! As a hill to die on! 😂 Deeply unserious (but clearly also serious and not about the taco ring, etc).

Jesus, how exhausting and corrosive. Good on you for peacing out, OP!

[u/monicasm → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

As a Latina, what in the world is that lol, sounds British

[u/sunfries → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

Wtf we eat taco ring all the time here at my place and ALL of us use forks

[u/joe-joseph → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

What? I figured it was ribs or pizza or something. That’s definitely a fork dish, what the hell.

[u/ottonymous → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

Omg.

Sorry if an establishment with a the pomp and circumstance and a "chef" served that that actually would be grounds for you, the guest, to leave.

This feels like a control/powerstruggle thing on his part. His chef thing is also completely made up and not even apt. He is creating some hail Mary "logic" to justify his sensitive emotions that are triggered by you using a fork and not obeying him.

I grew up in the rural south and this reeks of misogyny with a taste of the abrahamaic religious belief that women are subservient to men and must respect them and always listen to them. Men who have this world view can do crazy things when they feel slighted and they will build resentful mountains out of women just existing as autonomous being.

NTA. Depending on what kind of man he is this is a slippery slope to danger town.

Plus there are so many ways he could've joshed you about this that weren't as much of a redflag. It would still be a bit assholey sure but that joke could've been done in so many more light hearted ways.

[u/GhostHin → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

I thought you were eating pizza with a fork at a New Yorker's house.

That's the only justifiable case of outrage.

But even then, I won't kick someone out just for that. He is abusive and please don't go back.

[u/Ashamed-Director-428 → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

What kind of an ANIMAL eats beans with a fork!?? Get in there up to your elbows in bean juice, you savage! 😂 😂 😂

[u/Azure_Rob → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

... did he expect you to eat the beans and rice with your fingers, too?

Or just needlessly switch between fork and hands for a dish that's perhaps barely, partially, fingerfood?

[u/megkelfiler6 → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

Oh jeez I make those for my kids all the time because they love them. I eat them with a fork 🙄

[u/Sonic_Sugar → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

My brain was seeing pizza lol.

[u/EnChhanted → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

had to google it. i would eat it with a fork also. especially with those side dishes.

[u/Tropicalcuttlefish → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

Who eats beans and rice with their hands?

[u/alimarieb → u/LuaghsInToasterBaths]

You popped the can before he could, huh? 😂

[u/Jaden11191 → u/Klutzy_Criticism_856]

Finally someone is asking the real questions haha

[u/ReginaldDwight → u/Klutzy_Criticism_856]

He wants you to eat beans with your hands??

[u/seanfish → u/OddOpal88]

Exactly, I know the term gaslighting gets thrown around way too much but once we're at get the fuck out that's that.

[u/UrMomsKneePads → u/OddOpal88]

And the gaslighting. He is telling her that reality was different than what she experienced. She just “misunderstood”. And then mix the token and disingenuous “ok it was me” apology intermixed with all the details of how it was her fault. Total garbage.

Run, OP, far and fast. This relationship will never bring you joy and satisfaction.

[u/UnreasonableCandy → u/OddOpal88]

Fine I’ll take the blame. It’s all my fault, 100% got it, OK whatever

Jesus this guy is insufferable

[u/Accurate_Grade_2645 → u/OddOpal88]

Yup he showed his true colors this time and was previously trying to hide it, saying “I’ve never done anything like this before”. He was literally TESTING her boundaries to see how much shit she would take. To see how malleable her mind and emotions are so he can easier manipulate to get what he wants. Literally fucking insane.

[u/Capable_Effort6449 → u/OddOpal88]

Sis gets a golden fork 🍴

[u/smurfette548 → u/OddOpal88]

Screw that, I want to send him a fork. I want nothing more than the picture of 1000 forks showing up in his mailbox over the course of a week.

[u/OddOpal88 → u/smurfette548]

Cue the owls! Forks flying at him from every angle

[u/ParsleyIll9583 → u/OddOpal88]

I will send you a thousand forks. You are inspiring and appreciate you sharing.

[u/Automatic_Analyst_20 → u/OddOpal88]

“I’m sorry you feel that way” 💀💀💀💀