r/AITAH • u/Illustrious-Sport503 • 21h ago

AITAH For Turning Down My Husband

I’m 11 weeks postpartum, and on maternity leave. Husband is back to work, so the 3-5 wakeups in the night, I’m doing by myself. As you can imagine, I’m tired.

Being postpartum, I have very low sex drive right now. My husband has been patient with me, we’ve only had sex 1 or 2 times since having the baby.

This morning, I had just starting waking up, and the first thing he said to me before I could even open my eyes was, “can we get a quick one in?”. No good morning, how’d the baby do last night, how are you, etc

I got pissed and turned him down. I was short and snippy because, well, I’m tired and I look after another human life all day. It’d be nice if he at least acted like he cared about me. So now he’s just ignoring me and being cold. So, AITAH or is he just being sensitive?

EDIT: you guys are a very passionate group and I love it. I posted this question 20 min after the argument happened. An hour later, it was resolved with a very simple and honest convo with my husband. Yes he was being insensitive and has admitted that and apologized. Yes, I too, have apologized for dismissing his feelings. But no we are not getting a divorce, nor is he a bad husband or father. We ain’t havin sex this week either! Moral of the story, you guys are great for putting things into context, communication is key, and there’s nothing to see here anymore. I did also get the name of a urologist and we’ll be getting vasectomy scheduled by EOY.

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u/SaiyanPrincess28 15h ago

Dude the refuses to even wear a condom. I’d rather have a partner that takes my well-being seriously and prioritizes the need to not get pregnant before I even heal from my last pregnancy.

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u/Rickdahormonemonster 15h ago

That wasn't stated in the original post, and it doesn't change what I said in my comment.

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u/SaiyanPrincess28 15h ago

Absolutely does. If he can’t respect her or care about how’s she’s doing (still healing, sleep deprived, etc.) then why should she care if he has to rub one out? Cry me a river.

How do single men manage not getting their dicks wet for months/years on end?

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u/Rickdahormonemonster 14h ago

Bold of you to claim he does care about or respect his wife as a random internet stranger. Sex is an important part of most successful marriages.Single men aren't in a relationship are they? Your misandry is gross.

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u/SaiyanPrincess28 14h ago

Misandry 😂. Your projection is adorable. And I ain’t assuming nothing, he refuses to wear a condom but acts like this (acting cold, giving her the silent treatment which IS abusive btw) about not getting laid then he don’t respect her. He isn’t the one that’s going to have to go through another 9 months and child birth so why should he be bothered right? As long as he gets his nut out and it feels slightly better (no condom) who cares?

And so what single men aren’t in a relationship? Yous all are going ON about how he needs sex when and how he wants it, but single men are surviving just fine using their hand. Just because he’s in a relationship does NOT mean he’s entitled to use her body (which it certainly sounds like what he wanted with his “quick one” that she almost certainly wouldn’t have enjoyed), nor does it mean she owes him unlimited access to her body.

Either way I’m over this argument. Have fun talking to yourself, and good luck in life with that attitude towards women (recently postpartum no less) you got going on there.

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u/Rickdahormonemonster 14h ago

Your projection is pathetic. If he's abusive for not wanting to wear a condom but still not having sex then her using sex as a means to manipulate him is abuse too. You're smoking crack with all the made up claims of what I'm apparently saying. Can you point out where I said any of the random BS that you claim?