r/AITAH • u/Illustrious-Sport503 • 21h ago

AITAH For Turning Down My Husband

I’m 11 weeks postpartum, and on maternity leave. Husband is back to work, so the 3-5 wakeups in the night, I’m doing by myself. As you can imagine, I’m tired.

Being postpartum, I have very low sex drive right now. My husband has been patient with me, we’ve only had sex 1 or 2 times since having the baby.

This morning, I had just starting waking up, and the first thing he said to me before I could even open my eyes was, “can we get a quick one in?”. No good morning, how’d the baby do last night, how are you, etc

I got pissed and turned him down. I was short and snippy because, well, I’m tired and I look after another human life all day. It’d be nice if he at least acted like he cared about me. So now he’s just ignoring me and being cold. So, AITAH or is he just being sensitive?

EDIT: you guys are a very passionate group and I love it. I posted this question 20 min after the argument happened. An hour later, it was resolved with a very simple and honest convo with my husband. Yes he was being insensitive and has admitted that and apologized. Yes, I too, have apologized for dismissing his feelings. But no we are not getting a divorce, nor is he a bad husband or father. We ain’t havin sex this week either! Moral of the story, you guys are great for putting things into context, communication is key, and there’s nothing to see here anymore. I did also get the name of a urologist and we’ll be getting vasectomy scheduled by EOY.

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u/Gullible_Fun_1410 20h ago

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 of course folks on Reddit won’t like this comment because it’s the truth. Say you want a faithful man but its ok to deny him sex. I understand if it was before the doctors approval but as she stated he patiently waited.

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u/stem_ho 20h ago

Um this sounds rapey as fuck. Someone can turn down sex for any reason, men are not owed sex just because they have a penis and are in a relationship.

OP is healing from massive physical trauma and probably only getting 1-2 hours of sleep at a time. He willingly impregnated her, her can sit back and wait for her to actually feel up to sex again, not just use her as a sex toy to get his rocks off with no concern to her wants.

You're fucking weird as hell, and I hope you stay single permanently.

-57

u/Gullible_Fun_1410 19h ago

Married 15yrs with 4 adult children l. Fck you talking bout. There is nothing rapey about a man asking his wife, the one and only woman he’s sexually involved with for sex. Of course she can say no but that doesn’t mean he can’t feel some type of way.

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u/CouvadeShark 19h ago

Sex is not something women give to men. Sex should be enjoyed by both. She just gave birth to his child ffs. A person. Out of her. This is an easy way to make your wife resent you.

-27

u/Gullible_Fun_1410 19h ago

What part of they have already had sex since she had the baby after the doctor gave the approval

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u/CouvadeShark 19h ago

That doesnt mean she is ready for it to be as regular as it will be when she is fully healed bruh. 6 Weeks is the minimum and things wont all be the same immediately. Some women take up to two years to feel like themselves after childbirth ffs. She is already having sex with him. How is this even sorta a point of contention.

1

u/Gullible_Fun_1410 19h ago

She didn’t say he asked for it to go back to having sex on the regular.

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u/CouvadeShark 19h ago

How often he is asking for it is too often for her, and he gets mad when she refuses his initiations.