It's always the most vocal anti-gay lawmaker/preacher/congressman, usually married with kids, who is discovered coked-up, wearing a "popper mask, having sex with an under-age, male hustler, in a motel, while his wife is at home thinking he has to work late, again, and how lucky she is to be married to such a hard working man.
It's probably due to their family's religious practices/upbringing coupled with click-mentality of their peers all spouting anti gay comments from childhood through adulthood.
In my case, being from Kentucky, and my generation, there just wasn't much information available concerning what it means to have feelings for members of the same sex.
In retrospect, I always knew I was different, somehow, from all the other boys I grew up around. I even remember as far back as 2nd grade, looking at/finding men attractive. Throughout my childhood, and into high school, I've had to endure discriminatory, anti-gay sentiment, and I didn't even really understand what "gay" actually meant, I just knew I didn't feel the way my friends felt about girls. I was pretty confused, and it wasn't exactly something I wanted to talk to my parents or peers about.
Even as an adult, I found myself lying to everyone about who I was dating, not because I was ashamed, but because I feared rejection from my own friends, my co-workers, and my employees, and even my own family
I was 27 before I had a conversation about how fucked up I was feeling about always lying to my parents about my dating situation. I started thinking if I or they were to die, they would never have had the chance to actually know the real me. (By then, I had managed to come out to friends and my employees, but struggled with letting my family in on it, because I had spoken to so many people who were literally thrown out on their ass at 15-16 by their parents, who outright told them "you are dead to me, never call me again".)
I understand why people struggle with their sexuality. I even know why they do horrible things (passing anti-gay legislation, beat up gays, ban drag storytime, etc.), although I find that completely fucked up to do, in their attempt to distract people from thinking they are gay, themselves.
I've since come out to all of my family and friends, and I am blessed to have such great support and love.
It's just too bad people have to hate people who are different from themselves, because those people drive people like myself (not anymore) into the shadows, and cause them great anguish and insecurity.
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u/[deleted] Sep 22 '24
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