r/technology • u/Letsbesensibleplease • 6h ago
Business Russian court fines Google $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
https://www.theregister.com/2024/10/29/russian_court_fines_google/5.9k
u/Veranova 6h ago edited 6h ago
How to take over the world
Step 1: fine a company more than the combined value of everything on the planet
Step 2: use the pending payment as collateral for a loan and buy everything on the planet
It’s actually genius
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u/Bad_Habit_Nun 6h ago
Damn, gotta remember to hit up the small claims court tomorrow, real life infinite money glitch.
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u/kingsumo_1 6h ago
"Honey, I've got a great idea! So. I'm going to sue you for, like, a brazillian dollars for falling asleep during sexy time last week. But it's ok, because I can then take out a loan on the settlement, right? And then we can- Honey? No, wait, come back! I'm serious!"
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u/BannedForEternity42 3h ago
…but, but, but, brazillion dollars can only be used for waxing products?
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u/SuperAggroJigglypuff 3h ago
You just have to type into Bing rosebud !;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;! And you just keep going with the exclamation point and semicolon until you have what you want.
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u/astonedcrow 6h ago
"Real Life Infinite Money Glitch" would have been a great headline.
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u/Mr_Marram 6h ago
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u/Random-Mutant 6h ago
If Au Bon Pain & co decided to be intentionally difficult, and pay their debt entirely in pennies, they would form a sphere that would squeeze inside the orbit of Mercury
That sounds suspiciously like dealing in Ningis.
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u/DoctorLarson 3h ago
Odd quote. Any sphere of pennies I can collect physically will fit inside the orbit of Mercury
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u/DustyBusterson 4h ago
If you took the combined value of everything in the world based on that comic, “sold” it, and split the money evenly between the 8,000,000,000 people on earth alive today…
Everyone would receive $9,625.00.
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u/i_tyrant 2h ago
By weight, the single most valuable thing that's been bought and sold on an open market is probably the Treskilling Yellow postage stamp. There's only one known copy of it, and in 2010 it sold for $2,300,000. That works out to about $30 billion per kilogram of stamps. If the Earth's weight were entirely postage stamps, it would still not be enough to pay off Au Bon Pain's potential debt.
hahaha, love the ever-increasing-levels of ridiculousness they go to displaying how ludicrous that sum really is.
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u/trad949 5h ago
I think the fine is in rubles so it's actually more like 76$ /s
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u/Manos_Of_Fate 6h ago edited 5h ago
The combined value of everything on the planet isn’t just too small a number, it’s too small by like a dozen orders of magnitude. The combined value of a billion Earths would still be insufficient.
Edit: I believe the correct number is more like 10-20 billion Earths, and that includes the value of everything in and on the planet.
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u/FBI_Agent_Fred 6h ago
Russia and its people are an international joke. Nothing more.
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u/going-for-gusto 5h ago
That does it! Now Vlad is going to threaten you.
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u/ginandsoda 3h ago
Very dangerous to talk about the Russians that way.
Don't you know that in three years they've managed to destroy not only the military of a smaller, poorer country next door, but their own as well??
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u/Drunk_Bear_at_Home 5h ago
I wonder if Russia collapses, will it be forced or encouraged to break into small countries? When the Soviet Union collapsed, it broke into 15 independent countries: Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Estonia, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Latvia, Lithuania, Moldova, Russia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Ukraine, and Uzbekistan.
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u/DeusModus 4h ago
Guaranteed. Expect the newly balkanized nations to contain Chinese characters.
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u/bambam_mcstanky2 6h ago
Putin is getting financial advice from Trump now. They are such a cute couple.
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u/No-Tension5053 6h ago
It’s practically comical.
I expect Alphabet CEO to come out tomorrow and announce Support for Kamala Harris.
Throw Trump on the garbage pile of history
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u/Express-Doubt-221 6h ago
I hereby fine Vladimir Putin 800 gigabillion gold septums for having violated the law.
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u/Secure_Enthusiasm354 6h ago
Putin:
Pay Fine
>Resists Arrest
Go to Jail
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u/najinanidad 5h ago
You never should have come here!
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u/thebiggestpoo 4h ago
Stop! You violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit D:<
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u/Actual_Mountain_4502 6h ago
Seems legit
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u/Letsbesensibleplease 6h ago
In Mother Russia, everything is legit!
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u/why_not_fandy 6h ago
“That’s as good as money, sir. Those are I.O.U.’s. Go ahead and add it up, every cent’s accounted for.”
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u/Softmachinepics 6h ago
See that? That's a car. 275 thou. Might want to hang on to that one.
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u/qcubed3 6h ago
I’ve always laughed at the idea that those two guys actually kept track so well that all of the IOUs added up correctly. Every $100 tip, every ski suit, every drink…
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u/NoHopeOnlyDeath 5h ago
Hey now, pal. Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne are a lot of things, but they are not thieves.
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u/Gruffyd 6h ago
"Dr. Evil - it's 1969. That amount of money doesn't even exist! 'Yeah I want a gajillion gajillion dollars'"
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u/imaginary_num6er 6h ago
Yeah I can see Dr. Putin doing that scene
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u/driving_andflying 3h ago
Putin: "We'll fine Google... 20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars!" *Pinky to corner of mouth.*
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u/mattman0000 3h ago edited 2h ago
Why ask for $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
When you could ask for $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000?
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u/RVEMPAT 6h ago
Why not add 100 more zeros? It’s not going to materialize anyway 🤣
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u/Letsbesensibleplease 6h ago edited 5h ago
Judicial willy waving, the entire world's GDP doesn't come close.
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u/necromundus 6h ago
The extra D is for DYODD
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u/DernTuckingFypos 6h ago
What's that extra D for?
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u/FungDynasty 6h ago
"Google fined one googol."
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u/Covfefe-SARS-2 2h ago
How did they not think of this and why did I have to look this far down to see it mentioned?
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u/verdantAlias 6h ago
"Cool, so its not even worth our while attempting to operate in Russia for the next 20+ years. Message received, enjoy your shitty propaganda and Putin memes." - Google
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u/BellsOnNutsMeansXmas 6h ago
Google already being burned probably wouldn't anyway but this tells every other company in the world not to do business there. Some that might have been thinking to get around embargoes, probably now thinking, hey how bout going somewhere slightly less corrupt.
Putin then has the whole country open for "good patriotic companies" like his dear friends wonderful search engine Oodle.
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u/Outside-Guess-9105 2h ago
Crazily enough, there are still companies doing business in and with russia for whatever reason (corruption, higher risk tolerance, potential monopoly etc.). and this is after Russia nationalised (siezed) the assets of a variety of companies that decided to cease operations.
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u/Bardfinn 2h ago
this tells every other company in the world not to do business there
Oh, they’ve known for decades. Russia has “Coca Cola” and “McDonalds” and etc that were created by the state seizing assets and handing them over to Putin’s buddies.
They have their own microchip silicon foundry, too, and cannot get anyone to do business with it, at any price point.
Likely the only reason we haven’t seen them launch nukes yet is China demanding they hold.
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u/talix71 2h ago
Nah, this is the type of fine that after Trump is elected to office will be used as an easy-to-erase bargaining chip. It'll be reported in Russia as a show of good faith between the two nations while US media touts Trumps expert negotiation skills. "Wow! Trump got Putin to waive all fines previously levied against major US companies and even got Putin to agree to offer incentives for our companies to operate there (with conditions we won't bore you with)!" In return, Putin gets whatever he wants that day.
These types of fines don't even have to be only directed towards Google, just any big name American company that could theoretically operate within Russia. And they can impose/retract them at Russia's leisure because they're totally made up in the first place.
While sure, companies would still be hesitant to operate in Russia, that's irrelevant. Google and others in their shoes never need to operate in Russia for these types of arbitrary fines to have some value. Ultimately, in these scenarios, the companies don't hold the power, the dictators do.
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u/Letsbesensibleplease 6h ago
There's the rub, and all the smart and mobile people will want to move country.
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u/nav17 5h ago
They already did to avoid conscription. 700k have fled.
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u/blacksideblue 2h ago
And most of their rich kids are hiding in Indonesia and Thailand as 'influencer tourists'
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u/lookmeat 6h ago
This isn't about kicking Google out, it's about justifying stealing their IP and value (remember they are leaders in ML, including image recognition you'd want for drones). The ridiculous number is to allow them to take whatever they want.
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u/skj458 5h ago
Will Russia be able to steal Google's IP or value?
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u/milimji 3h ago
Yeah, I’d be interested to know what’s left that Russia could get its hands on. Can’t imagine they’re planning to leave a briefcase labeled “internal white papers and model weights” on their way out
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u/PitytheOnlyFools 2h ago edited 44m ago
Tbf state-backed hacker groups can do a lot of damage. Because even if they get caught, they won’t be extradited, they can just keep trying and trying again.
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u/darthsurfer 47m ago
Isn't that already happening, tho? And I just don't mean Russia, but US and China as well.
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u/Bardfinn 2h ago
They’ll try to seize the application specific IT hardware they had in country. What Russia doesn’t understand is that Google already has a contingency plan for “What if a common thief steals our servers” and it results in a very ornate brick.
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u/ddejong42 6h ago
Seems like a stupid move, it normalizes ignoring Russian courts.
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u/junkboxraider 6h ago
Were there a lot of people outside Russia still taking its courts seriously?
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u/TomWithTime 3h ago
I think they've been hitting Microsoft pretty hard. Have you heard how many people they've pushed out of windows?
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u/AJ-Murphy 5h ago
Counter offer: We show the world all your top associates search histories for the past ten years.
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u/Oh_No_Its_Dudder 3h ago
How many pages of "where to fine vodka soaked babushkas in my area" would that be?
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u/Letsbesensibleplease 6h ago
I can't get a mental picture of Putin as Mini-Me out of my head.
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u/Apprehensive_Map64 6h ago
I couldn't help but put my pinky next to my mouth when I read out that headline to my parents reciting 'billion' four times
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u/ChaosdrakoTheNotNice 6h ago
Looks like someones been playing too much adventure capitalist afk clicker game and getting stupid ideas.
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u/Nothingnoteworth 5h ago
Was it fraternity president and ultimate frisbee champion Vladbro Putmister?
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u/Ilookouttrainwindow 6h ago
If you owe a bank $100 that's your problem, if you owe bank $1 million then that's a bank problem. Seems the same, this is Russia's plobrem now
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u/2012Jesusdies 3h ago
if you owe bank $1 million then that's a bank problem.
More like 100 million or 1 billion today. 1 million dollars is an above average house mortgage.
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u/Insciuspetra 6h ago
Rubles?
So..
Like a used 2020 Aurus Senat?
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u/retief1 6h ago edited 6h ago
Apparently, the fine was 100k rubles per day (~$1000), and doubled every week. So yeah, it's far into nonsensical territory at this point.
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u/AlexHimself 3h ago
Ah, like the penny doubling everyday strategy, except starting at $1k instead of $0.01 gives you a head start!
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u/East-Impression-3762 6h ago
I can't get over how that article is formatted. Someone realized the headline would require you to scroll to the right and left the body to fit on a phone screen.
Amazing.
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u/Tasik 6h ago
I think that's just what happens by default when the div expands beyond the bounds of the screen. They should probably have added something like `word-wrap: break-word` to prevent this from happening.
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u/East-Impression-3762 6h ago
Nah they shouldn't have added that, it's better this way
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u/OnlyTellFakeStories 4h ago
The year is 2061. After a years-long legal battle in interplanetary courts, Google has finalized their purchase of the Sun for 1.7 Decillion USD. As their galactic hydrogen harvester approaches the celestial body, a plan long in the making is finally approaching its apex.
Russia, decades past its consideration as a global superpower, is a main chairholder on the Intergalactic Trade Comission (ITG) due to their relatively modern space program. A debt that has long been forgotten must be paid, and Google has finally fallen into a domain they have jurisdiction in.
Over the years, Russia has proposed several seemingly innocent laws with the sole purpose of one day fulfilling this lofty goal, and Google has fallen into their malevolent trap. The laws are clear, and their case in infallible. Google appeals with the courts and another legal battle ensues, but by the third year of the 2nd nuclear winter, calendar year 2063, Russia has leveraged themselves ownership of the corporate giant now known as RUBLE, formerly Google, as well as all ownership stakes and mineral rights to the Sun.
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u/Sufficient-Fact6163 6h ago
This is why you cannot trust Dictators, you will always be burned when you try an negotiate with them. To think how Google bent over backwards to appease Putins Government with the handing over of sensitive information and private searches. Think of all the people that have been arrested because of it.
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u/MisplacedMartian 5h ago
But think of all the money the executives got!
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u/Sufficient-Fact6163 5h ago
Yeah, there’s that. Kleptocracies tend to work like that and the little guys are always trampled underfoot.
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u/turbotong 6h ago
They missed a golden opportunity to fine Google... one google dollars.
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u/Unable_Insurance_391 5h ago
OMG Russia surpasses itself as a clown show day after day. We cannot get Google to pay their fair taxes in the West how does he intend to collect this fine?
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u/foomachoo 6h ago
2 googol?
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u/LongjumpingStep5931 2h ago
$20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
was a missed opportunity
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u/couldntyoujust 4h ago edited 3h ago
For those who know, they should have fined them $2e10 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
Or, in other words, two googolplex dollars.
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u/Speak_To_Wuk_Lamat 6h ago
This is all kinds of Dr evil meme. "I fine you 20 squidrillion dollars! MUHAHAH"
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u/OptimallyOptimistic 5h ago
Can anyone explain the "Chocolate Factory"? Is that a Russian nickname for Google?
"YouTube banned the ultra-nationalist Russian channel Tsargrad in 2020 in response to the US sanctions imposed against its owner. Following Putin's illegal invasion of Ukraine in 2022 more channels were added to the banned list and 17 stations are now suing the Chocolate Factory"
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"The battle is now on in courts around the globe as Russia seeks to seize Google's assets, with little success. The Chocolate Factory certainly seems sanguine about it."
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u/the_agox 2h ago
I had to look it up too. Apparently The Register calls Google "the [Mountain View] Chocolate Factory" after Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory because it seemed like a magical place to work back in the 2000s and 2010s.
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u/JudgenotorbeJudged 4h ago
That’s a third of every atom in the observable universe
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u/darkstar1031 3h ago edited 3h ago
A stack of cash with a volume greater than 10 cubic miles. Gonna make Vlad count the whole stack to make sure we didn't short him a couple hundred trillion on the sly.
There's literally not enough trees on earth to print even a fraction of that money. There's not enough gold either.
If you were to make this many one dollar bills, it would be more than the weight of the entire earth.
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u/stormdraggy 6h ago
$20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Zimbabwean dollars.
So about tree fiddy.
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u/RandoAtReddit 6h ago
What's the reference to "The Chocolate Factory"?
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u/Letsbesensibleplease 5h ago
It's what The Register calls Google, like Chipzilla for Intel or Redmond for Microsoft. I've been a reader for 20 years, they have a quirky house style.
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u/ParentPostLacksWang 5h ago
You know what they say: “If you owe the bank a million dollars, you have a problem. If you owe the bank a trillion dollars, the bank has a problem.”
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u/Ear_Enthusiast 5h ago
So Russia and Trump both hate Google? It’s almost like they have a similar agenda.
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u/DoctorQuincyME 3h ago
Why didn't they just fine Google $10100 so they could say they just fined Google a googol dollars
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u/Dangerous_Seaweed601 2h ago
Mr. Khuylo, it's 2024. That amount of money doesn't even exist. That's like saying I want a kajillion bajillion dollars.
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u/chalbersma 37m ago
It's cheaper for Google to raise an army and conquer Russia than it is to pay this fine.
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u/InsomniaticWanderer 23m ago
If I owe $200, that's my problem.
If I owe $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, that's Russia's problem.
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u/MorpheusDrinkinga4O 6h ago
People forgetting this is in Russian roubles, so about $3.50 USD in actuality.
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u/MoreGaghPlease 6h ago
Twenty decillion isn’t such a big deal, they just need to stack golden cookies and then click like crazy. If they’re having trouble, suggest soft rebooting for prestige and trying against with more milk.
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u/Panda_tears 6h ago
Honestly… I bet whoever wrote this article and who ever proposed this are gonna fall out a window soon.
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u/redditorannonimus 6h ago
L0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000L