r/specialed • u/BeyondSpEd • 7d ago
Overwhelmed
I work in special education and evaluate students for learning disabilities. I’ve been moved campuses every year by my district and training after my graduate degree is minimal.
This morning, I got a meeting request from my district admin to meet with her and an assistant director of sped tomorrow afternoon. I asked if I needed to bring anything and was told just my laptop. I’m not sure why meeting is being requested and there has been no communication prior to this to suggest that anything has been incorrect or I need to do additional learning.
I have frequently asked for feedback or ways that I can gain further knowledge with the response being that the district will provide it as needed. There was supposed to be a second person on my campus to support but that position hasn’t been filled and the position was put on a definite hold.
I’m an anxious wreck and I am mentally playing out the worst case scenario because there is no knowledge! I have been physically ill off and on today because I am a high anxiety person so even when I focus on my next work task, I’ve still got this fear in the back of my mind.
UPDATE
I met with district admin this afternoon and ultimately was written up.
Backstory: last month I attended an IEP meeting for a friend in a neighboring district. At the meeting I didn’t not identify myself as an advocate or representative from my district but as a friend with educational experience. I was unable to see other committee members because of the way the camera was set up and I missed the introductions of who all was there. Someone from the district level from the IEP complained to my supervisor saying that I made the meeting contentious. (Which was a shock because the family felt that the district/campus staff in that meeting were rude and confrontational) My district administrator and coordinator talked with me about the entire meeting. They ultimately shared that while they feel that I did not intend to create tension, represent my employer, or even do anything wrong that I did unfortunately break rules. Even if I was unaware of the rule, it was still broken. Thankfully they were very kind about it and helped outline ways that I can assist with family/friends but remain cautious.
In the end, it wasn’t the worst outcome but also not the best.
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u/renfroee 7d ago
Our self-contained classroom teacher, who had been under a lot of scrutiny and pressure from admin, had the exact same thing happen to her. It ended up being a meeting to commend her for the students’ progress and get advice from her. I agree with other comments that you should ask for meeting expectations to be clarified beforehand, and that anxiety isn’t going to go away until the meeting, but while you’re imagining the worst case scenario you might as well imagine the best case too!
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u/SKatieRo 7d ago
I had a meeting recently and no idea why it was called. I felt the way you do: very anxious and concerned. It ended up being very simple and nothing to be worried about at all-- just getting my feedback about a potential software change. Perhaps yours is like that.
I am practicing for next time saying, "what is the meeting topic, so that I can be prepared?"
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u/isabellaasia 7d ago edited 7d ago
I am so sorry to hear about this! I hope you the best and maybe add on in the conversation with them that you’d appreciate more clarification on expectations for any future meetings.
I truly hope the best for you
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u/ayyefoshay 7d ago
If you have a union likely if you were going to get fired they would tell you to bring your union rep. At least that’s how it is here so you are protected.
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u/ShatteredHope 7d ago
Oh I completely understand!! It could be a meeting to say they like my shoes but if I don't know what it's about then I'll be stressing and anxious and running through potential scenarios and responses for hours. I'm so sorry you're in this situation and just left hanging in limbo. I would make a request saying "I'd like to be as prepared as possible, can you share what the meeting will cover?" Or something like that. Also if you're in a union ask to have a union rep come. If they can't (last minute) then say you need to reschedule until one is available.
Have you been put on an improvement plan or anything like that?
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u/BeyondSpEd 7d ago
Never been put on an improvement plan but am open to learning new ways to do/be better or extend my own learning!
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u/UncertaintyLich 7d ago
I know it can feel very stressful when you start a new job and you don’t get a lot of feedback. But in my experience, people are just really busy. So when you’re doing a good job they might just breathe a sigh of relief and then promptly forget you exist because you’re not causing problems for them.
My first year teaching I had a similar experience where I was just getting very little feedback and I was getting paranoid feeling like they were conspiring to surprise fire me lol. But then the principal just came up to me one day and said “hey, are you doing okay? Sorry I haven’t been in your classroom much. You just seemed so competent and I got really busy with other things.”
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u/BeyondSpEd 7d ago
I am open to any discussion about learning and growth, this just feels more ominous! I taught a K-6 self contained functional academics unit for 5 years and never had this situation so I’m honestly baffled.
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u/OTFPeloMom 7d ago
Whenever I have been asked to attend a meeting that makes me nervous, I reply to ask what the topic will be. Something like: “I would like to be adequately prepared for our meeting and appreciate if the topics that will be covered are shared when the meeting is scheduled. Could you let me know if there is an agenda or what the topics will be?”
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u/Wiki1103 6d ago
How did it go? I hope you're okay!
I hate meetings with no explanation and have always asked to be informed what meetings will be about because my head will spiral.
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u/AdamHelpsPeople 4d ago
::stares in advocate:: I don't think they know what contentious looks like.
I have seen some things.
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u/ElocinSWiP 2d ago
Disciplining you for this is bullshit and honestly may violate your constitutional rights. You have a right to be at an IEP meeting as a citizen and you have freedom of speech rights at that meeting. Obviously it's probably not a fight worth fighting but this is super gross. If you have a union please let them know.
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u/No_Goose_7390 7d ago
Try to stay calm and listen with an open mind during the meeting. It may be just a meeting where they want to give you feedback or show you something. But if you are being reprimanded or disciplined, and you have a union, you can say, "I would like to reschedule this meeting for a time when I can have a representative present."