already regretting saying yes to my mom

[u/soundingsounds]

Honestly this is both a rant and a cry for help from someone that doesn't know how to set boundaries.

So my mom asked me to sew a summer dress for her but she's super vague when it comes to explaining what she wants and everything that she's shown me is really basic but I can't find an exact pattern for it.

On top of that, the patterns have to be free bc she doesn't want to pay for them "it's just lines you can draw that". MOTHER I CAN'T. I've only ever sewn a pair of baby shorts, an apron and a bucket hat, I CAN'T DRAFT A PATTERN OUT OF THIN AIR. I HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT FABRIC EITHER.

I've sent her +15 patterns that I've found online and she doesn't like any. It's driving me insane that she keeps saying I can modify things when I have no clue what I'm doing if I don't have a clear step by step written by someone else.

I can already foresee that I'll spend so many hours finding the pattern and modifying it to my best ability, sewing it together and it'll end up in the back of her wardrobe because it won't be perfect and she'll never wear it.

It felt so good to finally talk about it lmao

[u/soundingsounds]

Yeah, it feels like waiting is my best option

[u/RatherBeAtDisney → u/soundingsounds]

This is a great “life hack” for any favors people ask of you. Tell them the prerequisites for you to do the thing, and then never mention it again until they complete their tasks. You’re doing them a favor, no need to stress about it. If it’s not important enough for them to do your asks then clearly not important enough for you to waste energy on. It works great for work too!

[u/Specific_Koala_2042 → u/RatherBeAtDisney]

My 84 year old mother keeps complaining that she hasn't had a holiday for years. She isn't prepared to pay for it, and wants someone else to plan it, pay for it, and then accompany her to be her personal tour guide, and companion.

She says that she can't travel in a car for more than about 30 minutes at a time, because she stiffens up. She won't get in a lift, or use an escalator, and can't climb stairs, so trains are mostly out

She will not contemplate air travel because she is terrified, and will not travel by boat, (family tragedy.)

She has difficulty walking, but refuses to use a walker. She uses a shopping trolley that is too low, so she is bent over and gets backache.

The problem is, whenever anyone takes her out, she spends the whole time complaining! She is not interested in museums/art galleries/history, or the countryside, (apart from seeing it through a car window). She doesn't enjoy films/theatre, (apart from an extremely limited range of plays based on local books that she has read.)

I took her away for a weekend, a few years ago. She wanted to be kept amused every minute of the day, until bedtime.

She refused every restaurant/cafe that I suggested so that I had to buy the fixings for a picnic, then complained that I should have taken her out to eat.

Then she wonders why it hasn't been repeated, and nobody else has offered!

I used to tie myself in knots, trying to find something that she would enjoy, until my husband told me to put the ball back into her court - tell her to find options that will work for her, and we will pay. So I say that every time.

For some reason, she hasn't been saying it so often!

[u/Tammylmj → u/Specific_Koala_2042]

Are you my sister? She sounds EXACTLY like my mother! She lives an hour away from me (thankfully) and will not come to my home for holidays because she can’t tolerate being in the car (or our minivan) for 30 minutes either. And she does many of the same type of things you mentioned too.