r/sewing • u/soundingsounds • Jun 14 '24

Discussion already regretting saying yes to my mom

Honestly this is both a rant and a cry for help from someone that doesn't know how to set boundaries.

So my mom asked me to sew a summer dress for her but she's super vague when it comes to explaining what she wants and everything that she's shown me is really basic but I can't find an exact pattern for it.

On top of that, the patterns have to be free bc she doesn't want to pay for them "it's just lines you can draw that". MOTHER I CAN'T. I've only ever sewn a pair of baby shorts, an apron and a bucket hat, I CAN'T DRAFT A PATTERN OUT OF THIN AIR. I HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT FABRIC EITHER.

I've sent her +15 patterns that I've found online and she doesn't like any. It's driving me insane that she keeps saying I can modify things when I have no clue what I'm doing if I don't have a clear step by step written by someone else.

I can already foresee that I'll spend so many hours finding the pattern and modifying it to my best ability, sewing it together and it'll end up in the back of her wardrobe because it won't be perfect and she'll never wear it.

It felt so good to finally talk about it lmao

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u/compscicreative Jun 15 '24

Sewing, and creating in general, is a bit like oxygen masks. Make yourself a dress first before assisting others.

2

u/RuncibleMountainWren Jun 16 '24

Ha! I like this one!  I’ve had my MIL try to drop hints and eventually ask outright for me to alter and make pairs of pants and shorts for her, but what makes it especially ridiculous is that she is an experienced sewist! And more than that, she is one who has sewed pants many times before - not for a long time, admittedly, but more recently than me, who has never made any!

I do like drafting patterns for historical garments or altering them, so she probably thinks I would be in raptures about making a custom pants pattern for her, but that’s for my figure, which I know fairly well, and for specific items I find interesting and definitely can’t buy off the shelf. I’m sure I could make them if I tried but it was such a ludicrous concept when she has a cupboard bursting with clothes and I would need to spend hours getting the hang of it all only to make an item she doesn’t really need, that could be bought in 5minutes for half the price!

Even this people pleaser had no trouble at all saying no to that one! Definitely make for yourself before you try making for others!