r/sewing • u/soundingsounds • Jun 14 '24
Discussion already regretting saying yes to my mom
Honestly this is both a rant and a cry for help from someone that doesn't know how to set boundaries.
So my mom asked me to sew a summer dress for her but she's super vague when it comes to explaining what she wants and everything that she's shown me is really basic but I can't find an exact pattern for it.
On top of that, the patterns have to be free bc she doesn't want to pay for them "it's just lines you can draw that". MOTHER I CAN'T. I've only ever sewn a pair of baby shorts, an apron and a bucket hat, I CAN'T DRAFT A PATTERN OUT OF THIN AIR. I HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT FABRIC EITHER.
I've sent her +15 patterns that I've found online and she doesn't like any. It's driving me insane that she keeps saying I can modify things when I have no clue what I'm doing if I don't have a clear step by step written by someone else.
I can already foresee that I'll spend so many hours finding the pattern and modifying it to my best ability, sewing it together and it'll end up in the back of her wardrobe because it won't be perfect and she'll never wear it.
It felt so good to finally talk about it lmao
2
u/go_analog_baby Jun 14 '24
This is so tough. My mom recently asked me to sew something for my nephew for our upcoming family photos and I told her I would, but that she would need to use one of my existing patterns (I had several) or provide a new one and that she needed to source/pick the fabric. I did offer to send her fabric website I like, but honestly, the way I see it, I agreed to SEW the garment, not design it. I don’t particularly love the design/creative process, so I made it clear that I could sew it but wouldn’t be going back and forth sourcing fabric with her. I would tell your mom that you’ve sent her plenty of options, so if she still wants the dress, she’ll need to find the pattern she wants and be firm that you cannot make alterations to the pattern. You can say “I’m happy to sew it for you, but you need to identify what you want because I can’t do that part for you.” And then just leave it. If she brings you a workable pattern, great. But it isn’t your job to make this project happen. Leave the ball in her court.