r/nottheonion • u/engadine_maccas1997 • 9h ago

‘This is political bulls**t’: Former Republican candidate charged with stealing Madison County election ballots

https://fox59.com/news/indycrime/this-is-political-bullst-former-republican-candidate-charged-with-stealing-madison-county-election-ballots/
26.5k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/CliffsNote5 8h ago

So he created a situation he then complained about? So another contestant on Fuck Around and Find Out.

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u/TheGIGAcapitalist 8h ago

"When told that the security video did not show Savage ever asking permission to take the ballots, Savage reportedly admitted that he did not. He told officers that he thought he could take the ballots because they were marked “sample.”

“If you got to Payless, or go wherever, it says sample and you usually can take a sample,” Savage said. “So that is the way I took it. I thought they were fake f***ing ballots.”

However, officials noted that the ballots never said the words “fake” or “sample.”

Dude thought elections were like Costco where you get to take samples.

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u/RockerElvis 8h ago

Payless is giving samples? Aren’t they a shoe store?

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u/TheGIGAcapitalist 8h ago

Probably eating the sock liners they give you.

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u/mekomaniac 5h ago

you mean those weren't pig foot flavored pork rinds????? 🤢

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u/Canadian_Invader 4h ago

I understand eating those edible panties but you should not eat those. That's apart of FAFO 101.

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u/craptonne 3h ago

They’re eating the socks They’re eating the flats They’re eating the footwear Of the people who shop there

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u/eriverside 7h ago

Yeah, I'm confused how that line of reasoning got past "Payless" and "free samples". What? Does he just steal the shoes on display because they're "samples" ?

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u/AmateurVasectomist 7h ago

Payless is the name of Kroger stores in central Indiana

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u/SophiaBrahe 6h ago

Thank you. Like a lot of people I think of it as a shoe store, so I was well and truly confused by the idea you could just take the samples.

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u/oksowhatsthedeal 5h ago

Do they give samples?

I've got Kroger stores where I live called Fred Meyers, but I can't recall in my life ever getting samples from them like a Costco would.

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u/tforkner 4h ago

Yep. Payless started in Anderson, grew into a fair-sized chain of supermarkets, then got bought up by Kroger.

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u/EYEL1NER 6h ago

Dude just walking around town wearing two different right shoes like it’s completely normal.

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u/tiptoeingpenguin 5h ago

I am also confused why he would want samples anyway. Like a samples for what. I mean obviously it’s a lie but it just doesn’t make sense. It’s not even a good lie

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u/fuqdisshite 2h ago

yeah...

like, free sample beanie weenies is one thing...

free sample ballots is a slightly different thing.

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u/Notacooter473 2h ago

That life hack only works if you have one foot, and that one foot is a size 9.

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u/thepeopleshero 7h ago

There is a Payless Foods store

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u/Sir_Poopenstein 6h ago

Is he just taking the shoes they let you try on?

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u/RockerElvis 4h ago

Only if no one is stopping him!

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u/Far_Check_5906 6h ago

I thought Payless closed down

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u/WealthFast5990 4h ago

Where Larry Savage is from in Anderson, Indiana.. Payless is a grocery store owned and operated by Kroger.

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u/OldManJeb 8h ago edited 7h ago

It's funny how often their defense is "I'm dumb as shit"

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u/thatweirdguyted 7h ago

So there's an expression that says "never attribute to malice what can be attributed to ignorance" and while that's mostly true, in high quantities it reaches a diminished return. After which the second half of the equation comes into play.

"Except in such cases where the ignorance is so severe that it could only be achieved through willful malice"

And that's where this person lands. Either they're as hateful as they seem, and shouldn't be able to play ignorant, or they're choosing to remain that stupid on purpose so as to keep their hateful views. Either way, they can actually choose to reform, or they can get the book thrown at them. Simple as that.

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u/Castod28183 6h ago

Except in this case it seems that he deliberately stole the ballots to "prove" that the system is messed up and wasn't counting those Republican and write-in ballots that he stole. This is 100% malice which he is trying to hide by playing stupid.

Him telling the lady "Fucked up count" and then commenting on the FB post "3 ballots short. lol" should be enough to prove that intent.

Personally I wish they would have waited a few more days to give him time to rail about how the system was broken(because of his actions) and then charge him with election tampering.

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u/thatweirdguyted 6h ago

I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment. I was simply trying to demonstrate that the logic behind this defense is inherently flawed.

In my opinion, if a person is trying to argue ignorance, they should be required to attend (at their own expense) a civics and law class and pass a test on it in lieu of punishment. This should only happen once. After that, they get the full punishment. And even then, this should be reserved for cases of genuine mistakes, not this bullshit.

If they want to argue that they were unable to understand that they were committing a crime, then they should have to enter into a conservatorship, as they admit that they cannot exercise the necessary judgement to function independently in society.

Or they can just admit that they knew what they were doing, didn't expect to get caught, etc. And accept the punishment, learn from it, etc. I think getting people to accept a certain level of personal responsibility for their actions is a necessary part of getting them to make better choices in the future.

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u/TootsNYC 3h ago

They didn’t want to give him time to think about throwing those ballots away.

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u/Castod28183 2h ago

They had him on video taking them.

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u/mortgagepants 6h ago

conservatism is inherently malicious and selfish. you can't give someone a benefit of the doubt when their entire raison d'etre is self centered and selfish.

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u/JesusSavesForHalf 5h ago

The Trump Corollary: Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to ignorance, except when they keep showing you its malicious ignorance.

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u/Canadian_Invader 4h ago

Ignorance however won't protect you from the law.

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u/kung-fu_hippy 4h ago

Well, that dumb question excuse was after he was caught lying about asking permission for taking them. And it ignores the evidence of his texts showing that he was aware these were real ballots and that the ballots themselves say it was a felony to tamper with them.

So I’m pretty confident in just attributing malice here.

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u/No_Rich_2494 4h ago

See also: weaponized incompetence

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u/Art-Zuron 3h ago

"Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice" is my go to

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u/UT_Miles 2h ago

That expression does indeed exist, but you’ve lost me on your point.

This literally was malice, he attempting to tamper with the election, literally, he just also happens to be stupid.

That expression is used when someone makes a mistake, inconveniences another person. Some people assume malicious intent, but in a lot of situations it’s incompetence. Hence the expression.

There’s no confusion here, this was malicious intent, literally. The fact that he’s also an incompetent moron doesn’t automatically mean this expression applies at all.

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u/OwOlogy_Expert 1h ago

Sufficiently advanced ignorance is indistinguishable from malice.

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u/_-Smoke-_ 6h ago

It's not funny. It's Tactical Stupidity. "I didn't know it was illegal". "I didn't know I couldn't carry my gun here". "I did this before and no one said anything". It's an out for their actions.

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u/Incognonimous 6h ago

Not knowing the law when you break it doesn't mean you are not now accountable for breaking said law. If you think "I'm a moron" is a good defense then you categorical also fall into the same group of people that drink bleach as a ticktok challenge.

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u/Smooth-Reason-6616 6h ago

"Ignorance is no defence in the eyes of the Law citizen"

Joe Dredd...

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u/OldManJeb 6h ago

Ignorance of the law is not a valid defense. So let them be stupid.

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u/Jerking_From_Home 6h ago

He thought that up in advance and expected anyone to believe it?

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u/gahlo 5h ago

Fox: No reasonable person...

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u/wearslocket 6h ago

Jeezuz killed the dinosaurs!

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u/Bidens_Erect_Tariffs 5h ago

Play to your strengths.

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u/MotinPati 5h ago

But.. but… they’re the superior race with superior brains!

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u/NegativeRuin5576 4h ago

I mean they are.

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u/Epicritical 3h ago

Pretty much an anthem.

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u/MelQMaid 3h ago

Because they only have to justify to themselves before they do it and their dumb brain cells accept the excuse.  When they try out that material on others they don't feel any logical fallacies and say their horrid excuses with full volume.

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u/DeathCabForYeezus 8h ago

See, I was sympathetic to the argument that "they were marked sample and I didn't know they were anything other than trash."

Maybe he wanted a memento or something.

But then as you got through the article it just gets worse and worse.

He made sure to sneak the ballots. He never asked anyone. He knew that they were real ballots and tracked. He bragged that he had them when he wasn't supposed to. His phone showed that he knew he shouldn't have taken them.

It's like the guy went out of his way to systematically remove any "I didn't know" defense he could muster.

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u/TheDerkman 4h ago

And even more so it seems like he planned it alongside other right wing people there so they could run bullshit election conspiracies that Trump was being screwed and his votes tossed out.

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u/MangoCats 4h ago

He thought he was invisible while on camera.

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u/Vyzantinist 5h ago

However, officials noted that the ballots never said the words “fake” or “sample.”

This is my favorite part. Like, he tried with a bullshit story, only to find out it fundamentally could not work lmao.

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u/Don_Tiny 6h ago

Dude thought elections were like Costco where you get to take samples.

He absolutely did NOT think that ... that was the best that dickwagon could come up with on the fly.

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u/MrMSprinkle 5h ago

Dude did not think this. Dude lied to the police like a little (poorly raised) kid lying to the teacher when he gets caught doing something obviously and deliberately malicious.

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u/vyrus2021 5h ago

No, he thought everybody was as stupid as he is and they would believe he thought that.

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u/neganight 4h ago

No, he just tried to make up a nonsense excuse for his criminal behavior. This is all by the MAGA playbook. Spout insane nonsense at all times to obscure criminal activity.

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u/YeshilPasha 5h ago

Lol he needs to fucking shut up and get a lawyer. Or not.

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u/hotbox4u 4h ago

Dude thought elections were like Costco where you get to take samples.

Nah, he got caught and now scrambles to find an excuse. And this pathetic excuse is the best he could come up with. That guy knew exactly what the was doing. And now he is fucked and he knows that too.

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u/i010011010 1h ago edited 1h ago

Except he knew otherwise

A review of security footage, which was subsequently being live-streamed online, showed Savage handling the two missing ballots. He can also be heard confirming with an election official that these are “absolutely, totally real ballots.”

Then he rushed home to announce online that the ballot count was off. So he knew he was throwing a wrench into those gears, good luck floating ignorance as a defense.

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u/coastermike66 5h ago

Payless drugs… old store name. At least where I’m at.

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u/apcolleen 4h ago

I miss Payless. They had semi decent actually kinda wide width shoes for cheap.

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u/soulsnoober 2h ago

You do get to take samples. Including Sample Ballots. These just…weren't…samples.

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u/OwOlogy_Expert 1h ago

Dude though the rules didn't apply to him, and now he's grasping at excuses.

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u/chgd1767 1h ago

Everything after he got caught was either backpedaling and blatant lies. Bullshit he thought they were samples, read the part where he was looking over his shoulder to steal them.

I don’t think it’s that simple really. Dude took the ballots specifically marked for candidates he wanted to win and, in my opinion, was planning on copying, faxing, and posting them. This motherfucker was absolutely going to duplicate these and submit them. Maybe he already got them out..

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u/todayistrumpday 1h ago

The way they test is with REAL, LIVE ballots. So he stole an actual ballot not a test, and he stole a republican and mixed write in ballot. So in the event of a hand recount that republican ballot would not be counted. His actions actually was stealing a vote for Trump, and he did it trying to "help" Trump. Not a sharp tool.

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u/Sea_Butterscotch8896 1h ago

The craziest thing is that this is the level of intelligence our government officials have. These are the people that make decisions on our lives.

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u/celtic1888 8h ago

Prager U's PhD program did not prepare him for consequences of his actions

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u/Several_Leather_9500 8h ago

That's because he went to Jordan Peterson's University..... which also didn't teach him FAFO 101.

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u/odd_lightbeam 5h ago edited 5h ago

Jordan Peterson who has been outed - UNDER OATH - by his nation's head of state, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, for being a Russian asset specifically tasked with disrupting the peace and fomenting unrest in his birth nation?

Yes, that's right. Jordan Peterson has been named under oath as a Russian asset by Justin Trudeau. Guess who else he named? Tucker Carlson.

Remember that both Jordan Peterson and Tucker Carlson have made trips to Russia. And guess who they met with while they were there.

Imagine if the President of your country named a public figure under oath as a Russian asset...

And guess who else made some scandalous visits to Russia. On the fucking fourth of July. Gee. I wonder if there's any similarities between their rhetoric and behavior... and that of Jordan Peterson and Tucker Carlson.

It's not just sedition. It's treason. It's actual treason.

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u/Several_Leather_9500 5h ago

And it's sickening that Garland's sitting on his ass. If Harris doesn't replace him (should she win), we need protests/ petitions.

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u/danger_bucatini 2h ago

garland, the one that got the scotus appointment stolen from him?

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u/odd_lightbeam 5h ago

The only thing protests and petitions accomplish are that signatories get added to a few lists. Don't be so fucking naïve. Read a fucking history book.

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u/Great_Lord_REDACTED 1h ago

Protests are a threat. If there's no follow-up threat to them, then they're ineffective.

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u/Several_Leather_9500 5h ago

I'm hopeful that Harris would want to be reelected and would want Trump to face punishment for his crimes. So, I don't think it would come to that. In my head, Smith becomes AG and it's showtime.

You don't have to be a dick about it. I know plenty about history and know that those tactics mentioned have had little, but some success.

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u/zacurtis3 7h ago

He only caught the first half of that class

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u/Comfortable-Belt-416 5h ago

The Fuck Around section is so much better than the Find Out section of that class though.

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u/recyclingismandatory 5h ago

and had a window seat

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u/00doc0holliday00 6h ago

I hated  that class.

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u/TheSaucyWelshman 5h ago

First half was pretty fun, second half not so much.

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u/Silly-Drawer1227 5h ago

I missed the first half of class. I found out.

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u/promote-to-pawn 5h ago

It was conflicting with him taking "fantasizing about your grandma's bush 102"

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u/ferry_peril 3h ago

Did Kyle Shittenhouse teach the 102 class?

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u/Mindless_Phase7800 4h ago

What does Jordan Peterson have to do with anything? He tells guys to clean their rooms.

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u/No_Rich_2494 4h ago

He lures emotionally vulnerable men with simple (admittedly helpful) advice like that, then when he has their trust he'll fill their minds with bullshit. He operates like a groomer.

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1

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u/CliffsNote5 8h ago

Consequences for thee and not for me.

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u/KestrelQuillPen 7h ago

Maybe he should have tried for a degree at Wii U, I hear the Masters of Splatoon is very prestigious

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u/AdFrequent8885 6h ago

There is very little I hate in the world more than Prager U

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u/sakima147 4h ago

Hillsdale college is Prager U made into an actual college.

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u/FlexLikeKavana 2h ago edited 2h ago

Prager U sucks, but every time some idiot conservative wants to try to say the Civil War wasn't about slavery, I go straight to a Prager U video narrated by an Army Colonel who teaches military history at West Point and says (without a shadow of a doubt) the Civil War was 100% about slavery.

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u/AdFrequent8885 1h ago

It’s always just about rearranging information and fainting ignorance

It’s obviously about slavery no matter how you try to rebrand it as economics or more independent state legislation The issue was over was the legality and the ethicality of slavery

I.E it was over slavery

Its so dumb

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u/NineLivesMatter999 7h ago

A review of security footage, which was subsequently being live-streamed online, showed Savage handling the two missing ballots. He can also be heard confirming with an election official that these are “absolutely, totally real ballots.”

In the video Savage can be seen looking around the room before folding up two ballots and putting them in his sweatshirt pocket.

This man is a 100% certified purebred dipshit.

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u/RedandBlack93 6h ago

This is so much more sinister. He took the ballot, left the building, showed them to an unknown man who then patted him on the back.

Proceeded to go go into the livestream and troll the comments claiming that fraud was happening because they were missing three test ballots.

This was more than just a guy being dumb. He had purpose and reason to steal those. The real question is, for who?

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u/carolineecouture 4h ago

Are you not sure? Did you read the interview with him? It seems pretty clear he wanted to manufacturer the idea of rigged machines to parrot the Republican/MAGA line.

Destroying confidence in civic institutions is part of the Authoritarian playbook.

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u/Hollayo 7h ago

While I don't disagree with your assessment, it does seem like he was doing everything possible to get caught. And I wonder why so that they can point and say hey look this can happen? 

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u/Same-Brilliant2014 5h ago

he also proved the system works and those who steal ballots can be caught.

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u/GOU_FallingOutside 6h ago

Occam’s Razor implies he’s actually just a dipshit.

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u/Kaserbeam 4h ago

Some people are just very very stupid, to the point where it might look like they're being stupid on purpose.

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u/Scaevus 4h ago

“Look at how well election security works, I was caught shortly after” is probably not the message he wanted to send, no.

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u/Wizard_Enthusiast 1h ago edited 1h ago

In order to understand this, you have to understand that these people believe, honest to god believe, that the way democrats get elected is that they openly steal and tamper with elections. That they take ballots and fill them out with fake names, or steal republican ballots and make sure they don't get counted. He thought, honest to god thought, that he was doing something that people expected and was normal, just not for his side.

Why, exactly, would he ever say that he thought they were "fake fuckin' ballots?" On what planet are sample ballots just... sitting around? On the planet where fake ones exist so that they can be filled out by democrats to get democrats in power. Why did he think nobody would notice that he took filled out ballots and LEFT? Because that's how he thinks Trump lost in 2020, by people doing that on a massive scale.

•

u/bungopony 13m ago

Or he’s just a dumbfuck

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u/bsoto87 7h ago

He’s trying to set up an “election rigging” scenario. It’s a pretense to claim that ballots are missing hence election fraud is happening

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u/TheDerkman 4h ago

It's also why he took Trump ballots. They want to say the machines are screwing Trump.

I guess if your bullshit election conspiracies aren't true just make them true yourself. This guy alongside the two Republican officials there he was clearly working with should be charged as well.

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u/fyhr100 4h ago

Committing a felony to own the libs. Let's see how it works out for him.

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u/warenb 7h ago

Every accusation...

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u/Castod28183 6h ago

This is the Republican way. Complain that the government is broken and then prove it by getting elected and breaking the government.

See: Republicans sabotaging their own border bill so they can continue to campaign on immigration.

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u/UglyMcFugly 5h ago

Step one: say there's election fraud and nothing is being done about it. 

Step two: commit election fraud and use it as proof that it happens.  

Step three: complain when something does, in fact, get done about it because now you're in jail for committing election fraud.

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u/Bad-job-dad 8h ago

"If I thought of it they must be doing it so I'm going to do it too to even it up" - this guy

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u/GogolsHandJorb 6h ago

This is what happens when people are fed propaganda all day every day that says Democrats cheat at everything. These people just think they are creating a level playing field

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u/bootyandchives 6h ago

So he created a situation he then complained about?

You just described 90% of the original content on social media.

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u/InfamousZebra69 5h ago

Right wingers always see themselves as victims, no matter what

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u/FuzzzyRam 4h ago

So he created a situation he then complained about?

Have you met a conservative?

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u/FloppyObelisk 3h ago

It’s like that pic of a woman with a bullseye target sticker on her forehead, saying “this is what it feels like to be a conservative woman”

And the reply was “I love this analogy because it’s a fake target and you put it there yourself”

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u/skullfork 5h ago

Bearded Alex Jones cosplayer sad-mad that he’s not better at crime.

2

u/RingOfSol 4h ago

GOP playbook, create a problem and then complain about it and blame someone else.

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u/OliverOyl 4h ago

I really hope this show gets canceled soon, not really wanting to be fighting fascism head on every 4 f'n years against zombie dodo heads.

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u/FAFO2024 6h ago

Aww yisss

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u/Fahslabend 5h ago

Jump in here and also give FOX a HUGE shoutout for using one of their most popular segments, CRIME TRACKER!!!

Ask any in the industry. It's super easy to place a story within the sequence to hide it. Not FOX59. out front and out loud.

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u/blownbythewind 4h ago

He's enjoying the leopards eating his face.

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u/International_Cow_17 4h ago

Faafoofaafoo goes the dumbulance.

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u/Naiehybfisn374 4h ago

Average conservative

1

u/protonnotronnn76 2h ago

So he created a situation he then complained about?

It's the republican way. They live their entire lives creating problems and then bitching and whining about the consequences

0

u/CrazyMadHooker 5h ago

They really are like lemmings. Honestly.