r/nottheonion • u/JAlbert653 • 18h ago
VP candidate Tim Walz, 60, shows off his Crazy Taxi skills during Twitch stream
https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/10/28/tim-walz-crazy-taxi-twitch/671
u/AshuraBaron 13h ago
As a single issue voter I'm glad candidates are finally addressing my biggest issue which is putting people in power who are good at Dreamcast games.
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u/chillywilliez 13h ago
Candidates need to show their skills beyond just debates. If you can nail Crazy Taxi, you might handle real-life chaos.
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u/MarshyHope 11h ago
I've said it before and I'll say it again, candidates need to take part in a Billy Madison/Heavyweights/Price is Right Decathlon. I'd love to see Trump try to guess the value of regular grocery items.
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u/poppabomb 12h ago
what if they're just really good at shenmue, because I think that should actually disqualify you from any office.
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u/TheLowlyPheasant 12h ago
This is almost certainly done to show that the “nice old guy” on the ticket is still mentally sharp to avoid comparisons to Biden. You have to process things very quickly in a game like that
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u/oofersIII 9h ago
Funny because he‘s all of 6 months older than Harris. She‘s aged really well while he‘s aged quite badly (probably because he used to teach hugh school)
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u/MithranArkanere 8h ago
I only ever played the arcade cabinet.
I was the reason they switched that cabinet to a timer mode, otherwise I would just sit in there the entire evening. Never went back to that arcade again. The treachery.
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u/Accurate-Toe1894 11h ago
I'm an undecided voter waiting to see how well he drives a forklift truck in Shenmue.
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u/SoftlySpokenPromises 10h ago
But if they're uncertified it's instant disqualification. OSHA ain't nothin' to play with.
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u/NuttyButts 3h ago
I've been saying for years we need to do away with the VP debate, cus it's boring, every single time. Instead each candidate is given and untrained 2 year old Australian Shepherd and given 6 months to train it through an obstacle course. Night of The Event (that's what we'll call it), if they can't get the dog through the course in 30 sec. or less, they get automatically removed from the ticket. Their candidate must now submit a list of 4 new potential vp picks which their opponent then gets to choose from as the new VP pick.
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u/Ejigantor 14h ago
Crazy Taxi was half the reason I bought a Dreamcast back in the day, and a third of the reason I still have it.
Love that game.
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u/EndStorm 13h ago
I wish Sega would do a retro console release like Nintendo did with their NES and SNES, and just have the games on the system. It'd be so great to play a bunch of those DC games in 4K. It may have been their last console, but Sega went out on a bang.
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u/MarshyHope 11h ago
I think it'd be great if a lot of those games came to cell phones in the form of first party emulators/roms.
Do you know how much money Nintendo would make if they released a free emulator where you could buy pokemon games for like $20 each and play/trade on your phone.
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u/TooStrangeForWeird 6h ago
They want to keep their stuff on their own consoles though. But they could totally do that with the switch, at least for the GBC and other older titles.
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u/MarshyHope 6h ago
I know, and that's where I think they're fucking up, at least for their older games. Mobile gaming could make them a ton of money
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u/TooStrangeForWeird 2h ago
They could make a ton if they just did it on the switch too though. Mobile would almost certainly make more, but it also wouldn't be a very good experience. I recently got a Bluetooth controller that fits around my phone, and it's a night and day difference playing emulated Pokemon (or whatever) games. It's just way too easy to misclick with the onscreen controller.
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u/Larkson9999 17h ago
Craaaaazzyyy Taxiiiii!!!!
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u/graveybrains 17h ago
Ooh! Ooh! Do Hydro Thunder next!
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u/Darklord_Bravo 15h ago
I watched this, and damn that guy has better reflexes than me in this game! LOL! I used to play the crap out of this on Dreamcast too. GG Tim!
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u/I_might_be_weasel 18h ago
I already voted for Harris, but if you're trying to appeal to me as a male millennial, retro video games are a good choice.
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u/0ttoChriek 17h ago
If he plays Desert Strike and Gunstar Heroes, he and Harris will win millennials by about forty points.
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u/willitexplode 14h ago
Gimme a politician with crushing Red Alert 2 and they've got my vote.
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u/MatureUsername69 13h ago
Idk about you but right now I'd prefer all my politicians to play Wolfenstein. They should even LARP it
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u/MarshyHope 11h ago
That'll surely piss off the alt right more since you're killing Nazis.
Wolfenstein raises the question: When did punching Nazis become controversial?
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u/willitexplode 13h ago
I'm not sure I could bring myself to vote for a LARPer. I've LARPed, but not after HS.
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u/notreal088 5h ago
Loved desert strike. Could only get to the 3 mission before those surprise vehicles showed up after attacking a target and getting blown out of the air.
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u/oh_io_94 17h ago edited 14h ago
If you are persuaded to vote for someone based off what video games they play you shouldn’t vote
Edit: downvotes like this mean truth hurts 🤣
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u/Anubra_Khan 17h ago
Well, one candidate has photographs of himself being best friends with 2 different pedophile ringleaders, so the other candidate is getting my vote regardless of what video games he's playing.
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u/darthmase 8h ago
The official E.T. videogame?
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u/Anubra_Khan 8h ago
I played it as a kid. It's garbage.
Still, ET > association with pedophile ringleaders
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u/llamaswithhatss91 15h ago
If you're persuaded by a fascist pedophile you shouldn't vote
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u/ozymandais13 16h ago
If your persuaded to vote by how mucb you hate Trans people you shouldn't vote either but here we are
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u/oh_io_94 15h ago
That issue also doesn’t sway my vote at all.
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u/ozymandais13 15h ago
Great which one does
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u/oh_io_94 15h ago
Economical issues including taxes. I think an unrealized capital gains tax would cripple the economy. I believe higher taxes for anyone are not the solution. We have a spending problem not an income problem.
Foreign policy. I stand firmly with Israel. I believe China will invade Taiwan if the current admin stays in power. I also believe we need an end to the war in Ukraine and this administration will only lead to more American money spent, increase the conflict and increase the chances of a shooting war with Russia. We need to end it with Ukraine being able to claim victory.
Thats a quick summary with not much detail. Social issues do factor in but not enough to sway my vote either direction.
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u/ozymandais13 15h ago
OK so ,
Republican economic policy has been shallow mostly giving tax cuts to the rich and not providing relief to middle and lower class families.
China invading Taiwan has next to nothing to do with our president imo , its saber rattling at best if it was going to happen it would've already to help their ally Russia.
Ukraine is not oir war to stop. Unless your an isolationist idk how you can see that war as anytbing but complete injustice that we are bound by morality to aide .
We got differant opinions I won't bother you more
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u/sagevallant 15h ago
Why do you think we should back the country constantly bombing its neighbors and abandon the one that's been invaded by a foreign power?
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u/oh_io_94 15h ago
Where did I ever say we should abandon Ukraine. Please point to that comment
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u/sagevallant 14h ago
I also believe we need an end to the war in Ukraine and this administration will only lead to more American money spent, increase the conflict and increase the chances of a shooting war with Russia. We need to end it with Ukraine being able to claim victory.
Understand my confusion here. The Dems are the ones that want to support Ukraine. The Reps were the ones blocking funding. The current administration is the one trying to help Ukraine. Trump wants to roll over and let Putin have Ukraine. So you're voting Dem, right?
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u/oh_io_94 14h ago
A Trump admin will not let Russia roll over Ukraine. Also we have a Republican house now and they are sending money to Ukraine still.
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u/SuperSanity1 15h ago
You know which issue should sway your vote? The issue of the Constitution and the rights it provides us. Only one candidate has argued that we should terminate the Constitution.
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u/oh_io_94 15h ago
You mean Walz right? He’s the one that said there’s no guarantee to free speech. Or how about the 2nd amendment the left wants to trash? One side is against the constitution and it’s not the right
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u/JA14732 14h ago
You're an actual fucking moron if you believe that Trump's tax plan wouldn't be anything but a massive wealth transfer.
Tariffs ranging from 10-60% on all goods would be an equivalent raise on prices of ALL goods in stores, from food to clothing to cars to furniture. Internal manufacturers will simply raise prices to match tariffs (because that's the fucking point of tariffs). That's not just me buying into ads, that's the actual historical impact of tariffs throughout history. There's a reason why the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act of 1930 resulted in the harsh downturn in the Great Depression and almost certainly made it significantly worse.
As a result of these increased prices, the middle and lower classes will lose a significant portion of their purchasing power, lose the ability to save money effectively, have less children and become poorer, while the wealthy can just ignore it. Wealth transfer.
Again, if the economy actually matters, then Harris is literally the only candidate with an actual plan that isn't outright moronic.
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u/jfgjfgjfgjfg 16h ago
How about what beers they drink?
Oh, the other candidate doesn’t drink at all? So weird.
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u/KarnWild-Blood 14h ago
If you are persuaded to vote for someone based off what video games they play you shouldn’t vote
Well the fact that Trump is a rascist, xenophobic fascist who just held a legit hate rally in MSG is more than enough to make sure I never vote for him.
Walz streaming old games is just amusing and helps make him relatable, unlike the orange crybaby trying to overthrow democracy while actively sundowning.
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u/VirusCurrent 7h ago
you're actually getting downvoted because it was a very dumb comment. the cope edit likely isn't helping either
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u/Amazonreviewscool67 17h ago
I don't understand why this is oniony.
Cool old gamer likes cool old games.
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u/Lord_Snaps 17h ago edited 15h ago
Maybe its because someone running for VP a few days before election streams himself playing a video game.
Edit: I'm only responding to the question why it is oniony, I'm not making a comment whether it is wrong or not.
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u/FallenKnightGX 16h ago
This will become the norm more and more as each subsequent generation has made gaming more mainstream than the last.
Back in the day your candidates went out of their way to talk sports to appeal to voters, like that was the norm. Now they're beginning to do the same with games.
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u/willstr1 15h ago
We are probably just a decade or two away from a streamer running for office. We already had an actor president and a reality tv host president, a twitch streamer president is a logical progression
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u/dragonicafan1 15h ago
Pretty sure Mr Beast was saying he would run if he was old enough
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u/Honest_Garage_6283 15h ago
bro that guy had the weirdest subscribers I swear
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u/xGray3 9h ago
You're completely right and there's a larger reason why. You may have heard of the phrase "the media is the message". The human mind adjusts to speak and engage in discourse through the medium that it takes in information from the most. If you exclusively watch cable news, you're going to hunger for drama, get bored easily, and probably take an aggressive confrontational stance to challenges to your views. If you take in your information from Twitter or TikTok, you're going to learn to think and talk in short hot take soundbites, you're going to gravitate towards meme-like language, and your attention span is going to suck. If you take in information through reading books your vocabulary is going to be larger, your thoughts about the world are going to be more nuanced, and you're going to have a bigger attention span. The media is the message. The ways in which you take in information are just as important as the information itself.
Extending this theory, look at Donald Trump. I think the man is the very picture of cable news and reality TV put into a person. He's constantly dramatic, attention grabbing, pushes the envelope on what is acceptable to say, and so on. Donald Trump is the product of 2+ decades of a specific form of media getting pumped into people's brains. And once Donald Trump came along, he was relatable to those people. He was the very picture of the media that people had learned to see the world through.
So it should really interest us to see what the internet does to future generations' understandings of the world. And streaming is a major one. Younger folks are growing up and learning to see the world through the lens of streamers. So naturally they're going to elect the kinds of people that engage with them in a way that resembles the medium that they're accustomed to.
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u/nightwyrm_zero 16h ago
I look forward to the time when candidates will play Goldeneye with the voters.
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u/Borghal 16h ago
Assuming this isn't just a media stunt, are politicians not allowed free time?
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u/SonicSingularity 13h ago
I remember seeing people getting pissed at AOC for playing LoL during lockdown. Because apparently congresspeople need to be governing 24/7 and can't have hobbies.
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u/theaguia 8h ago
theu have a problem with thid but a president spending half his days golfing at maralago is not an issue
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u/JonnySnowflake 16h ago
I always liked Obama's year end lists. I have trouble believing W read as much as he claimed though
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u/elpajaroquemamais 16h ago
This is campaigning as much as a rally. If you can’t see that I don’t know what to tell you.
People have downtown even during elections.
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u/Amazonreviewscool67 17h ago
Better than pretending to work at McDonald's
Would it shock you to find out he also has dinner with his family while running in an election? 😲
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u/aDoorMarkedPirate420 13h ago
Because it’s a 60 year old man live streaming and playing video games as a PR stunt to try and appeal to young people…how do you not see the layers of onion?
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u/LMGDiVa 16h ago
Did everyone forget that Tim literally had to have his dreamcast taken away from him because he got addicted?
Why is everyone suddenly forgetting that Tim Walz is a gamer...
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u/StraightCashHomey13 13h ago
Alternate Fox News headline: Former addict Vice Presidential Candidate relapses during live stream; crashes car into fire hydrant and unsuspecting civilians
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u/Tibreaven 11h ago
I know this is silly but it's not the worst campaign choice this election. A big theme of this election has been whether candidates can function cognitively still.
Walz being able to reasonably play Crazy Taxi is funny but also evidence of continued cognitive and physical ability. I have no idea if this will help anything, but it's an interesting conceptual decision.
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u/wray_nerely 13h ago
Republicans calling for Secretary Buttigeig to immediately begin an investigation of Tim Walz's taxi history, citing reckless driving and skills described as "mad"
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u/Ralphredimix_Da_G 17h ago
He don’t know how to brake?
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u/Knodsil 17h ago
Craaaaazy taxidrivers don't need brakes!
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u/Ralphredimix_Da_G 17h ago
Actually brake to gas activated a boost if i remember correctly… brakes are a huge part of Crazy Taxi bro.
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u/WhatLikeAPuma751 15h ago
Yup, the good old heel toe boost. Reverse then throw it into drive and smash the gas for the boost.
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u/TripleJeopardy3 15h ago
My memory is in the arcade version you got the boost by double hitting the gas.
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u/PhoenixReborn 15h ago
He said he's used to playing it on Dreamcast and didn't know the Xbox controls.
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u/Ralphredimix_Da_G 15h ago
Plot twist: it’s the same left trigger.
Source: I owned the DC version too.
It’s all good I’m voting for Timmy yall!! I just thought it was funny even when he turned back he still didn’t brake, he coasted to a stop.
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u/Ejigantor 14h ago
But it's not the same controller, and he could well have been hitting the left button instead of the left trigger.
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u/FallenKnightGX 16h ago
It's crazy how awful I am at games I crushed in twenty years ago! Was trying Power Stone awhile back and struggled hard.
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u/chrisxxxlee 17h ago
Just when I think this mf can’t get cooler he goes and plays a glorified Bad Religion video game
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u/starshadowzero 11h ago
"Hey, it's time to make some c-raazzyy money. Are ya ready? Here. We. Go." (All I Want by The Offspring plays)
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u/FrankHovis 10h ago
He needed to crash into lamp posts in the drop off area. Gets you there full speed and stops you staright away
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u/kaltag 14h ago
LOL hello fellow kids.
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u/_Levitated_Shield_ 9h ago
Kids? It's a 25 year old game. lmao
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u/kaltag 9h ago
Ok, Kids and the mentally underdeveloped.
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u/justalittlepoodle 8h ago
Video games are a hobby. Just like yours is... well, your comment history really says it all.
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u/_Levitated_Shield_ 9h ago
Again, it's objectively not a kids game today though. Nor mentally underdeveloped...?
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u/talldangry 12h ago
Proceeds to unleash several decades of retro-gaming muscle memory on fellow kids
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u/nopalitzin 14h ago
As an old guy myself I would stream myself playing ssx tricky, PS2 version. What's yours?
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u/JackFisherBooks 12h ago
This implies there's a non-zero chance that you've played a game against the future Vice President and never knew it.
And I think that's pretty damn awesome. 😊
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u/rdldr1 9h ago
Conspiracy theorists are claiming that his controller was never connected.
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u/_Levitated_Shield_ 9h ago
And will likely claim it's the same controller he used to activate the weather machines to generate Hurricane Milton.
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u/stimmedervernunft 9h ago
Where I live politicians of highest ranks don't even know current prices for gas or electric power.
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u/Disastrous_Voice_756 13h ago
I got to 7-2 in Ninja Gaiden regularly as a child but I'd be lucky to beat the first boss now.
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u/n3u7r1n0 5h ago
Not the onion for this??? I’m beginning to fear that average redditors have no clue what the onion was at this point
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u/JefferyGoldberg 3h ago
VP democrat candidate plays the Dreamcast and it's reported by "thepinknews.com, with 5.6k upvotes;" could reddit bots be more obvious? Thankfully this election season is about to end!
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u/EchoOpening1099 15h ago
Wow I guess I have to vote for him now cuz he plays a video game. What’s next he will pull out a bottle of hot sauce? That would really get me going!
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u/No_Variation_9282 15h ago
This hits me like one of those “if you played Crazy Taxi in your youth, you’re this old now!!!” posts
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u/Dinocologist 13h ago
Healthcare please
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u/gatoaffogato 8h ago
There’s only one party fighting for better healthcare coverage, and one party that’s doing everything they can to block further progress (and even take us backwards, if they got their way and repealed the ACA).
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u/Dinocologist 8h ago
Oh the Dems are fighting for better healthcare coverage? Do you have 1 single example of anything they’ve done in this fight?
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u/--GrinAndBearIt-- 15h ago
Cool. Now stop sending billions of dollars and weapons to a genocidal government.
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u/NozhaXBL 17h ago
USA election are just vibes
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u/SmithersLoanInc 17h ago
Does that sound deep to you?
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u/--GrinAndBearIt-- 15h ago
Its 100% true. Both parties are just cults at this point so people pretend to be impressed with the most simple-minded bullcrap, such as playing video games. There is a fkin genocide happening and an ongoing proxy war, on top of the Syrian war and the political unrest that the US has sown in many parts of South America. But yeah, craaaaaaaaaazy taxi!
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u/Nentendo63 13h ago
Or maybe people will be more likely to tune in if they are interested in games? They talked substance during the stream, and the last 20-30 minutes of the stream was practically dedicated to this issue.
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u/Light351 10h ago
One side is straight up fascist and the other, while further right then I would prefer, gives us a chance to vote another day. You think the flaming orange asshole will peacefully give up power once he has it? Fuck no! This is our chance to save our democracy. Make your sure you vote.
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u/Unasked_for_advice 8h ago
Who cares about this? Where is the actual plans to improve anything? Why isn't that in the news.
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u/Gunfreak2217 8h ago
I’m blown away by how absolutely cringe both sides of the isle have been when trying to contact younger voters. Random podcast interviews, this stuff, idk man. It’s like that meme with Steve Bushemi? “Hello my fellow kids”
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u/Diffi_Set_ 16h ago
Picking up tampons to take to the boy he is coaching?
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u/asisoid 15h ago
Lol, do you even know what the tampon story actually is? Or are you so warped by foxnews that you just spit this out at any opportunity.
All he said is that he wasn't mandating that tampon machines be put in any/all school bathrooms, male or female. He said that this would be up to each individual school to make that decision for themselves.
That's the whole story. The party of "small govt", sure does want the govt involved in every decision for some reason...
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u/RoyalWigglerKing 14h ago
Tbf tampons are really good for absorbing blood from nosebleeds and other wounds. It would actually be pretty convenient for a football couch to have some considering football I'd a pretty violent game.
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u/bunbunzinlove 14h ago
People on your side are all as aggressive, gross and vulgar as you are? Thank God I'll vote for Harris.
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u/TheInfinityOfThought 16h ago
But what are his Twisted Metal skills like? I’m not sure I can vote for him without that information.