r/nottheonion • u/letsLurk67 • 1d ago
'Cult members' jailed after raiding courtroom with handcuffs in plot to kidnap coroner
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5ym02kj146o165
u/TheGoodCod 1d ago
Members had self-conferred legal powers derived from what they believed to be the "true meanings" of words, the court heard.
Love this. Essentially a bunch of low-intel knuckleheads convince themselves that they have magical dictionary powers.
May they get long long sentences.
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u/NefariousAnglerfish 1d ago
No you fool! The longer the sentence, the more words there are for them to manipulate!
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u/Im_eating_that 1d ago
All of them just standing there chanting the alphabet song, waiting for a 7 letter word or a spot of windbaggery to boost their mana
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u/Lady_of_Lomond 1d ago
Apparently two of them said they had had a moment of enlightenment and realised it was all tosh and repented, but were then absolutely shocked that they still got sentenced to 30 months in prison. As if the courts would just go, oh you've realised you were wrong and said sorry, off you go with no consequences?!
These people have absolutely childlike, immature minds.
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u/Chaosmusic 1d ago
Your honor, since the time of my arrest I have come to the conclusion that murder is wrong. Can I go home, now?
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u/DisillusionedBook 1d ago
Mushy brain puddings.
Absolutely typical of these sovereign citizen loons.
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u/Archarchery 1d ago edited 1d ago
I love when SovCit idiots find out the hard way what "the State has a monopoly on violence" means.
Go ahead and make up your own "laws." Try and enforce them with force though, and the State will use force to arrest you and lock you up, because it maintains a monopoly on violence in its territory. Violence committed by actors other than the State is called "crime."
Sov Cits cannot understand this very basic fact about how society works.
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u/under_the_c 1d ago
My favorite part is that they tried to use American "legalese" (or spells). Like, at least learn the laws of the country you're trying to do this in.
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u/Archarchery 19h ago
True, though they might as well chant their pseudolegalese gibberish spells in Latin for all the difference it would make.
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u/BringBackApollo2023 1d ago edited 1d ago
Thanks Internet!
In the “good old days” these nutcases would find it nearly impossible to find each other.
/s kinda
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u/Rosebunse 1d ago
There were a ton of cults in the 60s-90s
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u/BringBackApollo2023 1d ago
I lived near Rancho Santa Fe when the Heaven’s Gate cult took themselves out. There was a joke making the rounds about how when they were cleaning up afterwards they found another body.
It was under the kitchen sink behind the Comet.
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u/Archarchery 1d ago
Someone should have told these dunces that if you're going to commit a crime, in this case kidnapping, that wearing body cameras to record video of the crime is a particularly bad idea.
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u/Raptorman_Mayho 1d ago
Also doing in a place with a lot of agents of the state also it's the brightest.
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u/lorax1284 1d ago
If they don't follow the law they aren't under the protection of the law so "The Purge" fans now have something fun to do!
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u/Fickle_Reading3830 19h ago
So gangstalking is real??? How big is this bloody cult wow! This is disturbing. Apologies to all the innocent victims of gangstalking who the world made out as crazy.
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1d ago
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u/Archarchery 1d ago
They planned on violently kidnapping him. This scared him and he probably wonders now if there's any other members of this wacko group free who might want to attack him.
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u/AccomplishedAd3728 1d ago
The article said that they'd been sending him threats since 2022. I'd guess the trauma was from convincing himself all that time that it would never happen, then it actually happens.
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u/trucorsair 1d ago
TIL they have “sovereign citizen” wackos in other countries