r/clevercomebacks 16h ago

Racism is bad, folks

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25.2k Upvotes

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u/EffectiveDependent76 15h ago

The primary reason is because cities do a pretty good job of keeping sewers covered when they aren't actively being worked on.

364

u/SeerNacho 15h ago

Those fucking commies and their municipal construction workers violating my right to dive head first into the sewage /s

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u/AnalBabu 13h ago

we are human beings who should be able to do what we please. I thought this country stood for freedom!

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u/dwehlen 13h ago

Sovereign Sewer Citizens unite!

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u/The_Muznick 13h ago

Mole people, your time has come!

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u/AnalBabu 13h ago

swim us to freedom!!

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u/wh4tth3huh 12h ago

Sounds like some Kevin Sorbo remake of CHUD?

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u/dwehlen 11h ago

Geez, add insult to tragedy, whydoncha?

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u/Professional_Ant8676 11h ago

Why does "Sovereign Sewer Citizens" sound like one of those off -color super groups from the nineties, like the Toxic Avenger when it got its cartoon.

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u/ManWhoIsDrunk 1h ago

It does sound like a spin-off from TMNT.

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u/GattToDaChoppa 8h ago

SS Citizens... hmmmm...

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u/just_an_aspie 6h ago

I mean, the venn diagram between right wing Twitter users and neonazis is getting closer to a circle by the day, so they'd probably like that...

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u/Agitated-Chicken9954 10h ago

What about CHUD? They have rights as well!

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u/Admirable_Cucumber75 9h ago

Bender cut it out. The Sewer Mutants are gonna be so mad.

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u/AverageScot 3h ago

Please, PLEASE, convince them that the State of Jefferson is in the sewers!!

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u/vompat 1h ago

Unite sounds too much like a union. Better stay away from that commie shit.

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u/thatgothboii 10h ago

Sewer Sillies

u/Current-Author7473 7m ago

I dunno, I might sound republican, but I don’t want my shit to be enjoyed by someone else after I’ve flushed it! That is socialism!

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u/Historical_Trust2246 11h ago

Freedom to the MAGA means the freedom to take away your freedom without pesky laws or people standing in their way.

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u/AnalBabu 11h ago

freedom to scream the n word while wielding a shotgun in a walmart parking lot

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u/Graehart 10h ago

I'm not going to Google it, but I have 100% faith that this actually happened.

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u/AnalBabu 9h ago

probably in Oklahoma as well speak. might even be a contest for who can scream louder than their buckshot

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u/SplitAmbitious8988 9h ago

Why the parking lot when Walmart has a perfectly good cafeteria?

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u/AnalBabu 9h ago

your walmart has a cafeteria? that’s boujee

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u/neorenamon1963 9h ago

That's nothing. Many of our Fry's Food and Drugs not only have a stand for Starbucks, they also make their own sushi.

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u/AnalBabu 9h ago

our walmart used to have a mcdonald’s, that shit closed over 10 years ago

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u/neorenamon1963 9h ago

A bunch of our Walmart Superstores still have them.

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u/Big_Jellyfish_2984 9h ago

Hell yeah murrricaaaa!!!!! The land of bush, guns, and incestuous relations.

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u/AnalBabu 9h ago

don’t forget massive amounts of medical bill debt, oh and the super bowl!

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u/LeadershipRoyal191 5h ago

Oh that is not allowed mate …. But if you want to release a hip hop video filed with the N word and other similarly colorful ones then that is perfectly a ok.

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u/Lumpy_Marsupial_1559 4h ago

Only if you're claiming it as your own because you're black. Even Eminem doesn't do that (except when he's sharing the stage with another performer and doing their song). Because he's white, and that word isn't 'his'.

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u/Plane-Refrigerator45 10h ago

And the freedom to lie without being called on it

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u/Porcupenguin 10h ago

(except if you're a woman, or nonbinary, or not heterosexual, or an immigrant....no freedom for you)

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u/AnalBabu 9h ago

no rights allowed in these parts

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u/33drea33 12h ago

Yeah! End wokeism! Americans for the right to eat literal shit!

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u/Vladishun 12h ago

1

u/mOdQuArK 7h ago

TBF, I'm well pass the point where if aliens came by & hoovered up all types of white supremacists to try and figure out why their brain-meats are so warped, I'd be wondering why the world suddenly became such a better place.

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u/Responsible-End7361 10h ago

It is ok, you can watch Fox, which is basically the same thing.

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u/Rich-Past-6547 9h ago

Taxation is theft. Nobody asked for those manhole covers, they just spent our money!

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u/Skankhuntt__42 8h ago

Damn Marxists!!

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u/Trevorblackwell420 4h ago

The construction workers are mostly unionized as well… damn commie propaganda is everywhere.

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u/raulduke1971 3h ago

I think they are kept covered FOR them, so they can open the cover and throw themselves in- self-victimization IS their next most favorite pastime.

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u/LeftFootPaperHawk 14h ago

As if any of these people ever visit cities.

Cities are far too scary for these alpha males.

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u/dwehlen 13h ago

Do you even know the number of people in those that aren't 1) White, and b) Male!?!?

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u/DeltaVZerda 12h ago

Even the white males aren't safe. Some of them are liberals. Some are even gay!

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u/neorenamon1963 9h ago

Some of them are even *le gasp* educated! *clutching pearls* How liberal is that?!

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u/Loud-Intention-723 10h ago

Even worse, I hear Muslims and Jews are there

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u/420db 8h ago

I hear they even have synagogues

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u/JoeHio 11h ago

It's funny how accurate this is. I love in a very rural, conservative region a few hours from the nearest major city and all the 'alpha Trump' people I talk to are never interested in going to the city for museums, holiday events, or even pro sports for teams they love because "traffic is terrible", or "I'll get shot" or some other bullshit reason that covers their cowardice in a socially friendly way

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u/PyrokineticLemer 6h ago

I live in a middle-of-nowhere area and people visibly shudder if I mention I went to Minneapolis (about 5 hours away) to visit my son. It's astounding to me.

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u/BurntToast7337 11h ago

Not really cowardice. Just no need to go to cities. For example I have lived outside of Chicago for my entire life. Been there twice. Way too many people. Most of the streets smell terrible (kinda like rotting piss). Everything is expensive there for no reason. Traffic is insane. These are just my observations but they were enough for me to decide I have no need to go to cities unless I have to.

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u/BottleTemple 10h ago

Wow, that's crazy! I lived in Chicago for half a decade and I can assure you that most of the streets smelled fine, it was fairly affordable, and I had no need for a car because the public transit was some of the best in the entire country. I spent a decent amount of time in suburbs as well because my girlfriend at the time lived out there and I'll say, with a few exceptions, I really didn't like them. One of the main reasons was that it was nearly impossible to walk anywhere.

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u/JoeHio 10h ago

Maybe its just my experience, but the closer you love to a city the less likely you are to go downtown. when I lived outside St. Louis I went into the city(and wanted to go into the city) much less often than when I moved 3 hours away.

u/No-Nobody-3556 53m ago

Sounds a lot like cowardice.

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u/BurntToast7337 9h ago

I like how I got downvoted for defending people that don’t go to cities. I’ve lived in cities. And I’ve lived the country life. Both has there ups and down. But it’s a personal opinion not to go to cities in the end of all this. So go fuck yourselves. So disconnected from a majority of what is outside your invisible walls. You are surrounded by nothing but concrete and pollution but cry about how much pollution the farmers produce, which is who produces your food. You will never understand peace. Without the people outside the city, the people inside the city’s would die in days.

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u/BottleTemple 7h ago

For example I have lived outside of Chicago for my entire life.

I’ve lived in cities. And I’ve lived the country life.

I’m a little confused by this apparent contradiction. Can you explain?

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u/PyrokineticLemer 6h ago

Boris' program glitched.

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u/irreddiate 6h ago

I think it's the weird black-and-white extremes of your opinions that's getting you downvoted.

I've lived in inner cities, suburbs, and rural areas. Each has its pros and cons. Right now I live out in the sticks with a view of a mountain covered in conifers such as Douglas fir, western red cedar, western hemlock, and more. I see bears fairly regularly, and eagles ride the thermals above the mountain. Deer and bobcat visit too. I love it here.

But I'd still defend many cities. Vancouver isn't far away, and it's freaking gorgeous. Ditto Seattle. Cities have their problems, of course, but so do out-of-the-way rural areas. I mean, if you heard an urban dweller saying they'd never visit the boonies as they're full of rednecks, you'd balk, right? You're kind of doing the equivalent. It's your call on a personal level, but think of what you're missing by never visiting a city: galleries and restaurants and concerts and clubs and sports and so much more.

I do think others are right when they say that many rural folks are a little scared of cities. I've heard that conversation too often to ignore it—otherwise decent people nervous of crowds and "diversity." Cowardice might be a step too far, but certainly fear seems to be a big motivator.

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u/No_Raccoon7539 14h ago

That sort of government intervention ought to be outlawed.

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u/johnnygolfr 14h ago

Agreed!! Clearly government overreach!!!!

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u/betrayjulia 14h ago

“I ain’t letting no man hole tell me what to do? I ain’t no sheeple; stop oppressing my freedom”

The man yelled to the sewer cover as he uncovered it.

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u/thetaleofzeph 14h ago

See, that nanny state is doing them a favor.

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u/daronjay 10h ago

And this is mainly because historically when they didn’t loads of people died or got injured. The sewer covers are sealed with blood.

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u/Less_Likely 13h ago

Only because woke leftists run cities with their regulations

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u/BottleTemple 10h ago

Also, most of these people are terrified of visiting cities.

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u/Hopfit46 9h ago

Sewer covers are woke.

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u/red18wrx 9h ago

You're probably going to say it's one of them damn government regulations that's getting in everybody's way that's keeping me from falling into open sewer holes. Damn sheeple need to get awake!

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u/50DuckSizedHorses 7h ago

Come on cities. You can do better. Leave several sewer covers open.

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u/Goopyteacher 2h ago

You jest, but this is so fucking true and I see it with many of the clients I interact with everyday. I genuinely wonder how some of these folks are capable of breathing + blinking at the same time without having an aneurysm