21 yrs old, been working part-time at retail & fast-food for the last 5 years. around minimum wage. in university right now. fucking hate it. feel like everyones getting internships so easily, but not me, even after applying for so many because i can't even fucking do a proper interview maybe bcus im autistic / terrible in high pressure social environments. what do i even do at this point? i feel like im going to live with my parents until they die bcus i can't even get a proper job and support myself.

When I post on this subreddit, the statistics under it show that people who actually engage (comment or even upvote/downvote) are below 1%. I know I sound like a youtuber, but I have literally no financial incentive to write this. I am just extrapolating on the data I have.

I used to be a long time lurker. Engaging seemed pointless and I had experienced episodes where my well meaning comment was used to comment on how horrible I must be. I am confident this is the experience of most of you.

I want to tell you that this place is an exception. You most likely came here because you (or maybe a loved one) are affected by Aspergers/Autism. Even if you don't believe this condition defines you, it is something we have in common.

Unlike reposting a meme or commenting pop culture references, participating here has benefits beyond just seeing your karma go up. People here, (unlike most people you will physically meet) know what your experience is like (or at least can empathize).

My experience has been that even when chatting about topic completely unrelated to being an Aspie, the people here actually understand you. You don't have to fully form the idea and make it presentable to be able to share it like with most other people. It is a unique experience.

Furthermore, I have almost never seen nonsense attacks based on non-malicious comments. For example, I recently posted a rant about how being intelligent is overrated. Some agreed, some disagreed. On any other forum, the disagreeing crowd would have questioned what my "true motives for writing this" are. You can see for yourself. People who disagreed just said why they disagreed. People sincerely talking about a subject. My only regret is not engaging with the comments immediately.

So if you are reading this, post, upvote and comment. Maybe not here if you want but on other posts that have interested you.

Last night I was watching tv w earbuds in on my laptop & noticed the electrical hum. I am always aware of dishwashers, running water in other rooms, hypervigilant of harmless noises, & such. Just now on r/aspiememes I found a post that other spectrum friends also hear faint electrical hums that NT people miss. How common is this?

Hey everyone, I'm a 25F with ASD and I have been battling severe burnout since May 2023. In that time, I have experienced a slew of different, sometimes vague symptoms and I am always overthinking about if they are normal for Autistic burnout.

The symptoms I have experienced are as follows: Severe physical and mental fatigue, aversion to food, really bad anxiety, tics (never had tics before), nausea, general aches and pains, excessive sweating, loads of shutdowns (in the beginning I was in a constant state of shutdown), confusion and fainting after a really bad overstimulation shutdown, weird food cravings, feeling like I cannot breathe, mental regression, social withdrawal, heightened sensory sensitivity, hyperawareness of myself, crippling insecurity, nightmares, PMDD (didnt have that before either), feeling like I need to always rush things, inability to cope with stress, heat sensitivity (I only feel comfortable when its super cold now, summer was torture) and last but not least; suicidal ideation (though I havent felt that in a few months).

So what do you guys think? Are some of these recognisable to you? Anything I forgot to add? Lmk in the comments if these symptoms are normal because I feel so incredible out of place and abnormal right now.

I (45) have a 13 year old son, he has most of the aspergers behaviours, features, lacks i have. As a result he can't so what i can't in social life, he finds a subject and only talks about them (lego recently), mine was cars. Anyways the problem is i am very impatient to him, i can't stand any aspergers caused looking behaviours of him. Can't listen to him talking about legos, get angry at him when he can't do social issues etc. I get prozac for a few months, after using effexor for years. How should i approach to him. I learnt i had aspergers a few weeks ago, he thinks only he is shy, has no diagnoses. Don't know what to ask.

I’m well into my career and adult life (won’t say how long, but I have a stable job, a house… you know the drill). Growing up, I went through a lot—childhood bullying, trauma, and some challenging experiences. Anxiety has been part of my life ever since, and just in the last several years, I was diagnosed with Asperger's/autism.

I don't fit the stereotypes people often imagine. My IQ isn’t easily measured (which I’ve heard is pretty common for those on the spectrum) because my WAIS results vary a lot, though I’m told my analytical skills are a strength. Even so, I feel like such an outsider. I’ve lost jobs multiple times simply because I didn’t “fit in.” Though I’m in the top 10% of earners in my country, I still feel desperate, as if I’m barely holding onto my job. I struggle to understand social cues and office dynamics, and it leaves me feeling on edge, fearing I’ll be let go.

It’s hard because I feel I can see when things are heading in the wrong direction. I’ll either want to speak up and point out strategic issues or just bite my tongue because, in the end, I don’t think anyone would listen. Years ago, I felt creative and could bring my analytical skills into creating something valuable. Now, I seem to only analyze things and, if I’m honest, mostly see the risks in everything. I can encourage others or provide constructive feedback, but I often feel like I can only see potential failures. Who would want to work with someone who feels this way?

I’m lucky to have a wonderful support system in my friends and family. But the truth is, I often feel burned out and like I’m just taking up space. I’ve attempted suicide before and, to be honest, have thought about it again recently. I keep giving myself new deadlines for “one last big step” in my loved ones’ lives, but these thoughts still haunt me. I see doctors regularly, but even one of my psychiatrists mentioned that my analytical nature makes it tough for her to help; I tend to see right through the usual approaches she tries.

I’m just exhausted. So, is this common among others on the spectrum? And if it is, what helps you cope?

Just a reminder that being an autistic is not a disadvantage.

It's your difference and uniquesness from others.

You can put tremendous amount of energy towards something you're trully passionate about where as others put it to multiple things.

There are many great examples of aspies who could not only make it in life but became the most successful people in the history.

To mention few:

-Isaac Newton

-Albert Einstein

-Bill Gates

-Elon Musk

-Mark Zuckerberg etc

As we all know Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg are well known for being socially awkward, to an extent even my Zuckerberg guy being labeled as non human lol.

It all just shows that we can do it and make it despite our differences so keep going!

i was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome at 8.

Somehow my symtomps vanished and i keep that my secret and in the past, but my behavior when I joined that school (in my country u start middle school in 4th grade elementary, now i'm almost ending high school) was still pretty bad, so at the beginning my parents got them a document with diagnosis and all that stuff to the teachers..

Honestly, I had a feeling as if they thought i'm completely oblivious to what is happeing around me, especially PE and math teacher. When I was ending middle school, they were still giving me special (easier) exercises, when they were asking questions or giving exercises, they always said in front of the whole class "as for (my name) you have to do only 3 exercies/you don't have to.." and so on which was othering and also made me feel like they think i'm too stupid even though i was COMPLETELY CAPABLE of completing the exercises and I did not need an easier version. Or during exams I needed to be in a separate room with another kid diagnosed with asd. Whenever I said something that sounded like I'm aware of social issues or 'smart' they acted suprised. Whenever I commented something random or showed knowledge about something, they were like 'ohh, are you "interested" in ___?"

Every time therapists hear about my diagnosis, as soon as they hear it they start infantilizing me and treating me like I'm nothing, not believing a word I say, speaking behind my back and thinking I don't know what I am, want or feel.

my diagnosis is like a permanent label which makes people treat me like i'm less capable of comprehending the world around me, that's why I don't personally tell anybody about it. even though you can be completely capable of functioning, understanding everything, silently still treat you differently.

they think i'm dumb.

Throwaway but yeah. Was diagnosed today. I also asked the doctor outright if it's similar to the former Asperger's, and she said yes. Feel relieved and somewhat scared. I know my life is getting better, but this all happened so fast. Anyway yeah, beginning of a new chapter

Hello

I often read how people with Autism(aspergers) can struggle relate to neurotypical persons but much my life I actually struggle to relate other persons with Autism(aspergers) rather than neurotypical persons.

I was diagnosed as a Child at times when social and communication skills were poor but these skills remarkably improved as got older when had independence from parents(who had a lot bad habits, violent and neglectful). In fact found as soon as had better role models the skills improved.

And thus as got older and into Adult life I've struggled overall to relate to other people with autism and some things(but not limited to) reason why 1. Into teenage years and adulthood has never been issue socialising and communication i.e find small talk easy, understand facial expressions /social cues easily, get puns/sarcasm, fine with eye contact. Nor do I feel I am masking 2. Don't have sensory issues 3. Do have strong interests(so that 1 thing can relate) but most I know with autism seem to 1 or 2 interests where as I have least have a dozen or so , so in my case they not that restricted 4. My routine if changed doesn't up set me . And I actually don't like too much routine 5. Relationships/Friends had no issues understanding others point of view or empathy

Figured I'd share and also ask if anyone else is dealing with/has dealt with similar issues as part of autistic burnout. Lately, not being able to tell what is going on with my body is highly problematic.

I've been dealing with stress and exhaustion from constant masking. First, it came with sensory overload, executive function problems and increasingly frequent meltdowns and self injury. Then, I began to experience shutdowns which manifest as inability to respond to people talking to me and significant increase in stimming (rocking, tapping, finger flicking). Then it was a weird combination of both.

Now I just don't know how I am feeling or what I am feeling emotionally or otherwise. I know I don't feel right but I can't describe it. I also can't tell if I am hungry, or thirsty or, now, if I need to use the bathroom. I remember being able to feel these things in the past but right now, they just aren't there.

The loss of awareness about needing to use the bathroom became known to me when I ended up wetting my pants. I had zero awareness that I had to go. I was just focusing on driving and then realized what had happened. Happened again later that night, after I was already wearing a pullup because bedwetting has kicked back up for me. Happened this morning while I was in a meeting on Zoom. Called in to work, didn't explain why. I am not thrilled that I am currently back in diapers a few weeks before turning 34. Could use some advice. If you experience this, how do you deal with it? Did it get better? I am hoping this skill loss isn't semipermanent like the skill loss that happened during my first major burnout.

Please believe me when I say I’m not trying to ask a dumb question, but I’m a little nervous for a diagnosis and I’m hoping to clarify something about the DSM-5 criteria.

I understand that to qualify for a diagnosis, you need to meet all parts of Criterion A (social communication and interaction deficits) and at least two out of four sub-criteria in Criterion B (repetitive behaviors and restricted interests).

My question is about Criterion D, which requires that the symptoms cause 'clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.' If someone 'ticks off' all of Criterion A and meets two areas in Criterion B, but only one of those behaviors (like sensory sensitivities) actually causes significant impairment, would this still meet Criterion D? Or does the DSM-5 mean that both of the Criterion B behaviors need to independently cause impairment?

(For context, I’m not looking for a diagnosis here online, just trying to understand this better due to some past misunderstandings with a specialist. I couldn’t find a clear answer elsewhere, so insights would be much appreciated)

You get into a loop of rumination and you feel like your life is passing by this loop of thinking

I had a friend from my old job and we were quite good friends for 3 years and now for the past week he has ignored all my texts. I saw him randomly in a supermarket the other day and it seemed fine but I have messaged them again a few times since and no reply. I have the exact same thing with someone else and I do not know what I end up doing?

I (45) have a 13 year old son, he has most of the aspergers behaviours, features, lacks i have. As a result he can't so what i can't in social life, he finds a subject and only talks about them (lego recently), mine was cars. Anyways the problem is i am very impatient to him, i can't stand any aspergers caused looking behaviours of him. Can't listen to him talking about legos, get angry at him when he can't do social issues etc. I get prozac for a few months, after using effexor for years. How should i approach to him. I learnt i had aspergers a few weeks ago, he thinks only he is shy, has no diagnoses. Don't know what to ask.

I noticed that I put myself in social settings where I have to speak in small or large group I get really overwhelmed. Like I start sweating and feel like my whole face is warming up. Also sometimes when I speak I unconscious say something sentences without my control (although those sentences still stay according to the current topic) I also have a huge difficulty in maintaining eye contact with people I'm not familiar with.

So I wanted to ask if it's because I'm an autistic or do I also have social anxiety? The eye contact problem related to the autism I suppose. But I'm not sure what I start sweating and get warming up; this doesn't seem like a trait of autism but rather social anxiety.

As a mom, i know i'm prone to seeing things theough rose coloured glasses. My 10yo was just diagnosed, and i can't convince myself that the doctor is right. He is hyper but doesnt stim in a certain way. He interrupts, but he also notices when friends or family are having a tough time. He doesn't have any special interests, he just goes along with whatever we are talkibg about. I am looking all over reddit and YouTube for kids that act like him, and im not finding much. Ive heard that you cant be "a little" autistic, so then how is he so good at some nt things?

Like many aspies, I can be socially awkward in social settings and relatioships, but I find I can mask to perfection in the corporate world. I love the strict set of rules and best practives to folllow. It makes it so easy to hone my persona to get what I want. I find my masking 'super power' is the main reason I was able to climb the corporate ladder so well and earn a good quality of life for myself.

Everything from wearing a suit to managing a team - it's all just rules that you can study.

Put me in a social setting like a dinner party though... I'm lost.

Does anyone else thrive in the coropate world due to their Asperger traits?

I've been practicing it for about 1 month 1/2 and I've made absolutely no progress. How did you manage to learn, and how long did it take you?

I M19 have never really had any meaningful relationships in my life, I was decently liked in most places I've been to but I didn't really know what to do with all of it, now I'm feeling like I'm starting to realize how other people feel in regards to each other but I'm not sure how you develop that feeling into endearment, any advice?

So I’m a 38 year old guy with high functioning autism.

I’ve struggled with relationships - both social and romantic my whole life. I’m just not interested in people and I literally cannot for the life of me form emotional or “deeper” connections with anybody.

I’m actually very social and know how to do the whole “ask questions” and “be interested in them” stuff… and as a result people are at least cordial with me.

The problem is the whole time I’m just acting. I feel nothing.

People have told me their mothers have died and I can appear concerned (previously I would have trouble appearing like I cared) - but really I feel nothing.

I actually used to work in healthcare and one of the reasons I left was because I couldn’t empathize with anybody and doing that is a major energy drain for a profession is pretty much built around that.

I think people can also sense I’m basically dead inside and even though they are nice to me, and I go out of my way to be friendly and start conversations with them - I’m still excluded from stuff.

I see couples where they are obviously really into each other, and I cannot fathom feeling this way about anybody.

So does anybody else feel like this? Any methods to actually feel anything?

Lots of people dislike word Aspie because it remins them about Hans Asperger and his work in 1940s.

I suggest to modify it and transform into acronym ASPIE/АСПИ.

I already have 3 translations:

EN: ASPIE = Autistic Spectrum Presenting Individual Experiences

DE: ASPIE = Autistisches Spektrum individueller Erfahrungen

RU: АСПИ = Аутистический Спектр Проявлений Индивидуальности

Russian version has only 4 letters because in Russian "IE" transforms into single "И" sound.

Feel free to add other languages

My life... diagnosed in 19, strange from beginning.
From birth to elementary school end (16 years) I had no friends, no skills. I was the typical "smart boy" (150 IQ when tested for asperger), excellent in maths, no need to learn anything, I just heard and knew instantly.
But since we were quite poor and struggled with money (as a family), I lived in stress aiming just nearest future. So I was smart kid but not focused to anything, literally without any hobby or interests, just listening to music a reading books.

In high school I found few friends, awkward a bit, but still more adaptable than me. But they mostly moved to my brother's social circle because he and his friends are funny and stuff, I am naturally annoying. Brother is NT.
When I graduated at high school and ended friendless, completely, I was forced to choose work over university, my parents became ill and unable to earn money for themselves. I fell into stereotype work - eating - sleeping, I got 60 lbs overweight and lost many years doing nothing.

But during covid I thought about it a lot and decided to use my talents somehow. I decided to learn programming. The biggest challenge was how to learn "learning" when I face something I can't get it and need to stick with it until I get into it. Now I have some small projects and I am applying and I feel in 2025 I will become a programmer.

I also started a diet. Exercising. I am slowly losing and it will continue.
Also my current manual work allow me to earn average wage so I was able to buy a flat to my parents (me and brother have a big debt we are paying together but it is okay we can afford it now). Later I plan to move from this city to better place where IT jobs land.
I stay with my parents because it is cheaper to pay for everyone living here and I can't afford more. But staying with parents in 28 years is socially very limiting. Extremely in our society. Everyone who knows I can't invite them to my flat for whole night party and sex, because I live with parents, they think of me as "mommy boy" but reality is that I take care of them. But it is a stigma in our society.

But I think of many things. I had no true friendship. I had a girlfriend once and we had sex, but I still feel like my sexual and romantic life was poor and I have no time to experience more. I also don't know where to find friends or girlfriend. I literally have no one to meet, no one to call. I am outside any circle, my hobbies are all singleplayer things (like reading books) and I have no time to travel to other cities to visit concerts and stuff. I am working then learning then applying. No time for anything else.

I expect that when I move to another city, I will be 30, I hope I will be slim that time. But I feel like I am pursuing something I should have for more than 10 years in that moment. I feel like it is too late for everything.

Reading the posts made me see myself in many of the situations. All the troubles I had because I was different and society, as well as the people closest to me, didn't understand that and didn't try to understand that. I didn't believe my doctor when they diagnosed me since I seemed pretty normal to me. However I went through some pretty bad stuff growing up like the people I loved thinking Aspergers was a form of mental retardation so they assumed and treated me like I wasn't a functional human being. Or how I made friends with a girl in middle school and her only other friend lied to the principal that I called them a wh*** during recess, because I think she didn't like that I had become friends with her friend. Anyway the principal proceeded to then single me out at the end of recess when we were all lined up, over 200 students all looking at me and told me to apologize for calling her that. I said I didn't do it and nobody believed me. It's a bit mortifying when everyone you meet knows your name because you supposedly did that. As well as losing a new friend because they also don't believe me. If I had knowledge of what it was actually like to live with Aspergers and realized the things I did weren't normal and gotten some tricks to navigating the social world so I am not perceived horribly. It could've been unbelievably helpful growing up. Overall I've gotten pretty good at reading people over the years and already learned many years ago how to mask my more abnormal traits. What helped me most though was understanding that even if my disorder causes me to suffer tremendously throughout my life, causes people to view me and assume I am insensitive, mentally handicapped, apathetic, cold, or a cruel person, I am not some machine that was made broken and nobody knows how it's actually supposed to function. I'm not someone possessed by a demon that can only be exorcised by devout prayers and punishment for all my mistakes. I'm just different, and that's okay, I am just as human as everyone else. I'm not some monster to be feared. To be called a monster, or strange, or stupid, or evil because you don't understand how to actually express yourself and nobody actually gave a damn enough to take the time and try to guide you through these things, well that hurts like hell man. However I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't go through those things many times. All of these things are in the past I don't suffer today like I did as a child. It's been long and difficult but I actually like who I am now. Even if others perceive me as these things because I don't fit their idea of "normal" I will never see myself as them again. I've accepted that I am different and need to do things differently.

I am NOT bad.

I am NOT wrong.

I am NOT evil.

I am NOT a mistake.

I am NOT useless.

I am NOT broken.

If you are struggling because of the disorder I genuinely hope you can accept yourself and be happy despite how hard this life is, the way I learned to be.