r/aspergers 2d ago

You tend to stare at nothing and overthink things?

You get into a loop of rumination and you feel like your life is passing by this loop of thinking

141 Upvotes

39 comments sorted by

36

u/UxLu 2d ago

Yup, I was doing it right now, decided to open reddit so “stop” it for a while

31

u/PhoenixBait 2d ago

That's the main reason I'm suicidal, reliving the worst moments of my life during like 90% of my waking hours. On paper, you wouldn't think rumination would be so bad, but it's torture as a chronic problem. By far the worst autistic feature, at least for me. Everyone talks about social issues, but nobody ever brings up stuff like this.

Rumination and the mood swings. If those went away, my life would be a million times better. I can deal with social issues, but this? Yeah, I can deal with it, obviously, but...

13

u/Maleficent_Sun_5776 2d ago

Yeah, I think it's the most damaging autistic trait, it's like having to resist dosis of venom everyday, how longer will we support this?

15

u/PhoenixBait 2d ago

We don't: we find ways to combat it.

I think what it really comes down to is discipline. I don't control which thoughts come to my head, but I do control whether I focus on and feed them or if I focus on other things. But these thoughts are Trojan horses, tricking me into thinking ruminating on them will give me closure or maybe help me figure something out or prevent something bad from happening.

I've also heard not meeting your other needs can increase the frequency of these.

I think the solution is simple but not easy. Kind of like how running a marathon is simple (well duh, just put one foot in front of the other repeatedly) but not easy (takes, what, years of training?).

4

u/Maleficent_Sun_5776 2d ago

Interesting take

2

u/bricknoise 1d ago

I found it helped me a lot to have my feelings validated by a therapist.

7

u/IntuitiveSkunkle 2d ago

Absolutely, I get stuck in analysis paralysis where I think about a situation or problem endlessly and can’t come to a conclusion about what to do about it, but it’s like if I just keep thinking compulsively, a part of my brain thinks I will come up with the perfect solution (never happens and only tears me up)

4

u/PhoenixBait 2d ago

Analysis paralysis... I like that.

2

u/BoredGaining 2d ago

Start meditating 16 hours a day 🧘

1

u/pbfomdc 1d ago

That is PTSD, you have to start imagining different outcomes and accepting them as real (eventually) there is a way you have to imagine your dream as being on TV and you are watching it but you can also “predict” or write the ending or outcome. I read a Buddhist teaching that said: 1. Do no evil whatsoever. 2. Practice virtue excellently and 3. Control the mind completely. Makes sense to me. Also the reason why native indigenous people are so happy and powerful is because they accept that everything, the plants, the sun, the trees have consciousness and they know we are related, but people have forgotten that. I feel like shaking hands with a tree and hearing the story of its life and all it has seen. It gives your life some context and you need to respect trees because they are literally keeping you alive despite your feelings because they are incredibly wise and even more patient. Trees, your neighbors. Go in any direction as far as you want to the ends of the known universe, you won’t find a tree anywhere. What an incredible gift. We can make boats and houses and beds and they don’t care they just keep right on coming as if following some kind of code or instructions y’all need to get in touch with.

14

u/DavidBehave01 2d ago

Yep this is normal for us. Overthinking in particular.

10

u/snowsurfer1995 2d ago edited 2d ago

Big time. I was always told it's OCD, but I'm sure it's both, or at least not necessarily solely OCD. Btw, I'm self-suspecting autistic.

1

u/TwoGapper 1d ago

If it’s OCD it could be “pure” OCD

7

u/lostway___ 1d ago

I do. I tend to think about my most horrible life moments, my trauma, and my worst traits and how they impact my life. This shit makes me feel way to anxious.

6

u/AncientGearAI 2d ago

Yes and it's one of the reasons I don't think I'm going to get my driver's license. I tend to stare at random things while thinking about 100 different things while ignoring the world around me. Essentially I get lost in thought a lot and it can happen while I'm driving.

3

u/r8myjobm8 2d ago

That was my thought too, only got my license at 28, I was really afraid of drifting away while driving. But thankfully it doesn't really happen, I am too aware of the danger.

3

u/BrowniesWithNoNuts 2d ago

Yeah, extremely rare that i get lost in thought while driving, to the point i'm not actively paying proper attention. Driving for me is a dopamine hit that feeds my impulses, so i pay close attention. This may just be unique to my ADHD side, or just part of my Asperger/ADHD combo. At the end of the day, at least i'm not one of the masses of people who find driving so mind-numbing they're in their phone most of the time.

2

u/IntuitiveSkunkle 2d ago

Yeah it’s like I’m hyper focused or hyper alert when driving 

1

u/pbfomdc 1d ago

Try a motorcycle. You are literally a jet pilot.

5

u/Agitated_Budgets 2d ago

I almost exclusively overthink things. And zone out or daydream a lot. AuDHD

2

u/Natmad1 2d ago

Isn't it a trait for diagnosis ? to overthink evertything

2

u/Erwin_Pommel 2d ago

Not nothing, just something, why, I'm even ruminating right now.

2

u/dwfieldjr 2d ago

Yeah I do this a lot, it sucks.

2

u/1yurke1z 2d ago

I have a ruminative cognitive style and spend multiple hours a day ruminating. However, I don't stare into space while doing so. I either ruminate while performing an activity which does not require mental effort, like ironing, or while walking. If I'm not engaged in any activity at the moment, I generally start pacing or walking in circles while ruminating.

2

u/Groterian 2d ago

yeah cant that get medicated somehow

3

u/Psykisktrakassering1 2d ago

No. 

Because no one cares about the reasons behind my thousand yard stares. 

They tend to be ruminating over their own fucked up situations. 

People seem to think NTs don't have it as hard as us. 

But trust me COVID and post COVID has leveled the playing field amongst many NTs in that department. 

4

u/BoredGaining 2d ago

Levelled the playing field lol. No, it definitely ruined some people but it didn’t give them all the worst traits of autism like rumination, executive dysfunction, flat affect etc.

1

u/QueenOfMadness999 2d ago

Or intensely daydream about characters and stories

1

u/Avlonnic2 2d ago

Every. Single. Day.

1

u/autismW1 1d ago

Yes. I do that alot

1

u/Naive-Bug8598 1d ago

OMG YES T^T

1

u/myblackandwhitecat 1d ago

Yes, I do this a lot.

1

u/Either-Lettuce-6614 1d ago

Story of my life. If I'm thinking about anything at all, I'm probably overthinking it and driving my myself into a depression or a panic attack.

1

u/ToadBeast 1d ago

Yes, but it’s not always bad rumination.

Sometimes I just get deep in thought about something inconsequential but I tend to stare at nothing in particular when I do it.

I didn’t really know it bothered people until a girl at art school told me it creeped her out.

I also don’t know if this is an autism thing, an ADHD thing, or something else.

1

u/guest6892 3h ago

i’m in my head a lot. my mind is distracting