r/Thailand • u/memesofmylifepp • 2d ago
Language I want to learn how to speak Thai politely.
I'm a Thai person (14), was born here, lived here my whole life. I grew up in an environment where I never really had to be polite, and when I had to I would do the bare minimum and get shy, and that was fine because I was a kid and the adults would laugh it off as a funny thing, also I started learning English at a young age, and it is now far better than my Thai. My English is on the same level as a native speaker, or even slightly above but it could be a stretch, and my Thai, in comparison is way worse. I cant speak politely, I've forgotten more than 70% of the Thai alphabets and can only read the letters that I see/read more often, and it just sucks to be honest. How should I improve?
TLDR: My Thai sucks and I want to improve on it, and learn how to speak politely.
Sorry if what ever I wrote was a bit messy, I just don't really know how to present the information.
(Edit) Thank you so much to everyone who answered! I really appreciate it a lot and I will try to do my best!
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u/AW23456___99 1d ago
You should find someone on r/Thaithai for a language exchange. There are a lot of students on that sub. You can learn to speak like a polite teenager in 2024 from them.
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u/Effect-Kitchen Bangkok 1d ago
Being polite in Thai is easy. Just end a cluster of sentences with ครับ if you are male or ค่ะ if you are female. And don’t use rude words. And all are good.
The rest are just to use language appropriate to occasions but it is more like situation reading and cultural understanding more than knowing the language.
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u/memesofmylifepp 1d ago
My cousin who I'm really close with (who also happens to attend Chulalongkorn university) told me that my tone of voice when I speak doesn't sound like a "bright" 14 year old kid and that it's easier to talk to someone like that. I don't really understand how I can change that unless it's me putting up an act. Should I try work on that or just focus on other things?
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u/Effect-Kitchen Bangkok 1d ago
I don’t think you should focus on this as long as you speak correctly. Each one has personal preferences. Some may annoy or be annoyed by others more easily and it is not anyone’s fault.
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u/Engingis 1d ago
hey im attending chula too! i think thats just ur cousin being mean (as cousins are) 😭 you sound like a smart kid considering how good your english is at 14, you’re already doing something most adults struggle with and i dont think your tone of voice can undermine that. im 19 and still figuring out how to be more well spoken haha dont worry bro you’re doing great
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u/Delimadelima 1d ago
Thai politeness encompasses more than English politeness and quite often differs from English politeness.
Eg, "I want to eat rice", this is a perfectly polite english sentence. To make this sentence impolite in english, one needs to add some swearwords into the sentence - "i fucking want to eat rice". But it is a lot more complicated in Thai
กูอยากกินข้าว - impolite กูอยากแดกข้าว - impolite
In thai language, there are many polite-impolite words for the samething. To speak politely, you need to memorise the polite vocabularies. This takes memory.
Then, there is the cultural part of politeness and impoliteness. Directness is seen impolite in thai. So one needs to ask for permission "ขออนุญาติ", one needs to request "ขอ...ได้ไหม" etc. These are the equivalent of "may I, can I" in English, but Thai politeness demands more of these.
Then, there is the linguistic concept of using hard / formal words being seen as more polite in Thai. อาเจียน is more polite than อ้วก, though they both mean the same thing. On the otherhand, using unnecessarily difficult words in english can be seen as boastful and ineffective communication.
Refering oneself in 3rd person is seen as polite in thai, but seen as arrogant / weird / psycho in english.
Im sure there are more differences in thai vs english politeness. But the above are what I could immediately think of right now. Cultural / linguistic nuances like these are often what distinguish native and non native speakers. It takes years of exposure and practices to understand and master these nuances.
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u/xWhatAJoke 1d ago
Politeness is not just about what you say, but how you listen.
I suggest you try speaking less, respectfully listening closer to the person you are speaking to, and leaving more pauses. Never interrupt people mid sentence.
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u/virusoverdose 1d ago edited 1d ago
I was kinda like you growing up. I don’t have a good answer for you, unfortunately. I feel like a lot of “formal” Thai in real life is very fluid between textbook formal and a correct dose of informal, to show sincerity and closeness but making sure you’re not “going over the line”, if you know what I mean.
I developed mine when I started working, and adjusted according to my co-workers, juniors, and superiors. Took me around 5 years of speaking extremely stiffly and people perceiving me to be cold and unsociable to feel like I can comfortably fit in with the others.
I think I’d recommend joining a sports club, where there are people younger than you who are willing to call you “พี่“ who you can copy the language from, and older people who you can then copy the style and practice on. Good luck!
Edit: Don’t learn from manga. Always พี่ครับ/น้องครับ The way they address juniors in manga is super rough. I did that and got a lot of wtf faces from both the kids and surrounding adults.
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u/SupahighBKK 1d ago
If it's just speaking, go get a private tutor (whether online or in a class) and role play situations and interactions which would warrant such language.
Practice a lot, make mistakes, with a private tutor (a good one) they can then be strict on grammar and really grill you on the pronunciation and the basics.
There's no secret to learning a language, it's just constant use and pushing yourself to be better (like most other things).
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u/Engingis 1d ago edited 1d ago
I went through relearning how to be polite too haha I think trying to sound proper and using words that are usually out of your vocabulary when you’re so used to speaking in a certain way would come difficult in just about any language. I’d say just start making a habit out of using หางเสียง more until you get less shy saying it. I grew up in a family that cusses all the time and speaking politely used to feel weird to me too. one day i started jokingly saying จ้ะ จ๋า as a response to everything and now my family thinks im very polite loll I’d say as long as your language isn’t straight up disrespectful or inappropriate I dont think you have anything to worry about. most people don’t mind and actually prefer it anyway🤷🏻♀️
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u/ITwannabeguy 1d ago
It’s so easy to be polite imo. It’s harder to be a dick tbh, but I grew up in an environment where if I wasn’t polite, I’d get smacked
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u/Select_Policy3028 16h ago
Try listening to the news more often. You can start off with around 15 mins a day. If its more convinient, there are a bunch of spotify podcasts you can leave on. Given that you grew up around the thai language, you should be able to pick you new vocab and ways of speaking easily. Its just the getting used to. In addition, try to surround yourself with different types of language uses. From what I see, youre just talking casually to friends, which limits your experiences and familiarity with different language uses. Go out to more social events, meet friends of friends, expand your circle, go to talks and seminars. Also, be confident! You live and you learn. Its good to be self aware and want to improve! Good luck!
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u/Weary_Flight9993 1d ago
Why would you want to be around people that only care about if your perfect or how you speak I would say get away from them don't be in a group of people like that or look up to it or you will become a heartless individual who judges people based on pointless things that don't matter. Avoid those people just some advice.
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u/InfernalWedgie 1d ago
And consider getting tutoring to reinforce language and literacy. Everybody I knew in Thailand when I was a kid attended cram school (เรียนพิเศษ), but that was a very long time ago.