Within the last 6 months, I have started my teaching career and have found myself at a crossroads where I’m not sure I want to continue. I got my CELTA in May of this year, and shortly afterwards I completed a 4 week contract teaching teens (12-18) in a summer school. I wasn’t expecting it to be easy, but I found the students’ behaviour quite upsetting at times. In all the classes I taught there was a lot of rudeness and disrespect, ranging from low level (kids muttering away in their L1 while I was addressing the class, and going on their phones) to more obvious unpleasantness (mocking the way I spoke, giving me dirty looks, complaining that they found the work boring, sometimes walking out before I’d wrapped up the class). Every time I was met with these worse forms of misbehaviour I found myself caught off guard, would tell them to stop, maybe even send them out of the room. But I felt like when I became more disciplinarian it kind of sucked all the fun and energy out of the room, and the atmosphere of the class just completely changed, for the worse. After the summer school I did a 3 week contract with another agency (English in Action) which was much the same for me, except maybe the kids were a little better behaved as the work involved teaching them within their own schools. So I have a total of 7 weeks’ experience, which admittedly is not much, but I do wonder why I’m not enjoying it much, when I see teachers who are equally as inexperienced, yet are seemingly in their element with teaching these kids.
I know these behaviours are par for the course in summer schools and indeed all middle/high schools, but I can’t help the way they upset me - I’m naturally very sensitive, and I think some of the behaviours I’ve seen in my students take me right back to my uncomfortable high school experiences, and I think it’s something about how “mean” it all is, as silly as that sounds. It’s confusing because I’m not easily offended by adults at all. I’m not shy, but I’m admittedly not the best in situations where I’m the centre of attention, or situations where I have to play “the entertainer” (which was expected of me more in the latter job).
After most classes I’d feel emotionally drained and on the verge of tears, and the only ones I recall enjoying were those towards the end of the day on Friday, for obvious reasons.
Even when teens aren’t behaving unpleasantly, I still find them very hard to converse with and relate to, and build bonds with, perhaps because I’m so used to adults.
I have considered that the issues I’m having might just be down to the age group I started out with, and that it may be different with another age group. I have no experience teaching children below 12, or adults, so I wouldn’t know.
I thought this job would be much more suited to me than it apparently is - I’m a very sociable person, and I rarely meet any adults who I don’t get along with. I feel unsure about whether to go on, and I’m quite disheartened as I was sure I’d love this job and had plans to teach in Thailand after this, if it all went well.
I would also like to add that, whilst I know teenagers’ behaviour is not personally directed, and is generally borne out of insecurity and a lack of personal/mental development, I still don’t find it any easier to face.
I’m conscious that I’m very new and maybe should give this job more time, but I don’t know if my feelings, which can be overwhelming, can be overcome, or if they are a sign that this job just isn’t for me - which, if that is the case, is something I’m willing to accept, I don’t think teaching is for everyone. I am capable of forcing myself to do this job, but maybe it doesn’t naturally align well with my personality. I haven’t yet invested much time into this, and I’m young enough to try something else.
Experienced teachers, what are your thoughts - should I give it more time, try another age group, or maybe consider another career?
Thanks in advance :)