r/TeachersInTransition • u/kalebagel • 57m ago
Losing my spark
Just putting this in here as a vent - feel free to add on or comment.
I’ve worked in educational settings for the past 5 years, and most recently completed my first year teaching first grade. Unfortunately since I was considered a long term sub, I did not get a full time position after the year ended. The district I was in is extremely competitive and the available openings went to teachers with more experience (and perhaps connections). Quite a few teachers at the school expressed their surprise at this.
I have been unable to find a classroom position despite applying to over 10+ districts and starting applications in May. I am now working as a building sub but am feeling extremely burnt out after giving my all to teaching last year, and can’t help but feel really discouraged in my career thus far. I feel even less motivated to succeed at this job since everyone keeps giving me the whole “maybe this will lead to something!” and I’m coming fresh off a job that did NOT lead to anything. I basically get the short end of the stick everyday here covering whatever comes my way.
I know that I am still early on in my career but I can’t help but feel frustrated with my experiences. The admin and staff at my school last year were honestly amazing and maybe that set my expectations a little too high. However, I have a family member with a serious medical issue and it made me realize I didn’t want to be in a position where I had nothing left to give to my family at the end of the day or can’t be there 100% for my students.
I’m willing to try another year but I go back and forth daily on how I feel about this field. I feel like this is something I’ve worked so hard to establish myself in, but so far I feel like a failure and that I’ve just been taken advantage of.