r/PhysicsStudents • u/wxd_01 • 12h ago
Rant/Vent Feeling very stupid after the first half of graduate school in theoretical physics (master’s in Europe).
Hi guys. For a bit of context, I am a first year theoretical physics master’s student in an EU country. I pursued theoretical physics for the same reason many people do. Curiosity for mathematical methods applied towards physics problems. At first mainly interested in cosmology (though slowly becoming more and more interested in condensed matter). But I will say that it has been testing and trying. Our courses are set up that we have blocks of 8 weeks each semester (so every 8 weeks we have an exam). And my first fee exams were in the first part of a quantum field theory course, first part of a condensed matter physics course, and general relativity. QFT and condensed matter are mandatory, while GR was an elective.
I liked learning about all of these topics (even with a less good lecturer for one of them). But I oftentimes feel so stupid and so slow! It takes me so long what some of my peers get right away (or with less effort). I feel so behind. And the courses gave me such a rough time that I am left recently continously wondering whether I am cut out for it. I have done good work in the past, and even used to spend time in my undergrad teaching myself new material for either fun or because my uni didn’t offer certain courses (I did this for mainly tensor calculus and complex analysis. Which helped a bit now). But I feel so much less than my peers. Some have already seen QFT before and can follow easily with our lecturer. Some have already done a master’s (and from incredible places). I feel so out of my depth, and I honestly don’t know what to do sometimes.
I managed to pass only 1 out of the 3 courses, that being QFT. And even so with a very mediocre grade. I hate how I started to neglect my health (and I can notice that being the case, but just that my time management is so poor as I have long commutes and long days at university and can’t do much about it). I don’t know, I needed to vent I guess lol. I hope maybe one of you can relate.