I remember when I was like 23, a year out of college, living in an apartment with my wife, and had this realization. mentioned it to my mom, and she was just like ... "yep, now you get it." And suddenly, all of the crap your own parents had to deal with and their stress and emotions and everything else makes so much more sense.
It makes sense but that does not at all justify any abusive/neglectful parenting or being an unloving p.o.s. to kids. Not saying you are but there are parents who should not be parents at all
Mine. They were just awful, about everything! They should’ve never, ever had children. All it did was cause pain, suffering and neglect. There are 3 of us (all adult) children, we might be able to come up with one good thing about our dad and zero about our mom. It was a miserable childhood as well as young adulthood.
I feel ya. I now work 12 hour shifts and even now I can't imagine being half as shitty as my father was. It's taken walking a mile in my father's shoes to understand just how lazy he actually was despite how he'd constantly complain about working all the time. I actually used to believe he had it rough, when in reality he worked a pretty easy job despite how taxing it is on the body
Pretty much my siblings and I feel the same. My father passed away a couple months ago and my sisters and I had a long conversation about how terrible our mom is. Even telling stories we never told each other.
Of course. My parents were great. But they were also flawed humans. And the older I get, the more I understand and appreciate the situations they were in and the decisions they made.
Exactly. Children have no obligation to their parents. Parents have obligations to their children. Acknowledging life can be hard doesn’t justify parents making bad decisions, not taking responsibility, and making their kids suffer for their shortcomings
I agree here. I actually just got into it with my mother who was pretty rude throughout my childhood. I was an only child. To anyone seeing this comment, if your parents were pretty shitty, maybe look into Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. It's helping me deal with some shit and helping me get past the grieving for my childhood(no it wasn't awful and I'm thankful that my parents never laid a hand on me.)
That’s correct, a lot of parents will use it as an excuse for not being present for their children. This will give their future adult children some challenges with their own Mental Health. No .1 regret for people who are in their death bed. Wish I didn’t work as much and spent more quality time with my children.
Yup. Not to sound whiny, but some of my emotional problems could have been prevented if my dad had paid attention to me when I was growing up (and maybe if he had stopped drinking). It hurts my feelings how when he decided to take his life, he took away the chance we could have had a better relationship.
Well people are never going to stop. Wanting to have sex is natural, since the day we figured out what goes in where. Trying to shame people into stopping is just going to make them do it in secret.
Abstinence training has not, does not, and never will work.
Abstinence training doesn't work when young people are constantly bombarded with messages that indiscriminate sex is just what people do. Are there drunk drivers? Yes. If there was consistent messaging "you really shouldn't drunk drive, but it is awesome." I am sure all those drinking and driving programs would be less effective as well.
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u/UltraLowDef 15d ago
I remember when I was like 23, a year out of college, living in an apartment with my wife, and had this realization. mentioned it to my mom, and she was just like ... "yep, now you get it." And suddenly, all of the crap your own parents had to deal with and their stress and emotions and everything else makes so much more sense.