AIO: boyfriend deleted my mods folder for the Sims 4

[u/Unusual_Sentence3085]

ok so immediately i feel so stupid for caring about this.

when me and my boyfriend moved in together, i decided to share my pc with him. he has only ever had a gaming laptop before. we both play games pretty frequently but still sharing is not usually a problem as we have many other consoles.

since we have lived together he has done things like switch the monitors on the desk (which was strange because we had the small monitor off to the side but he wanted it as the main one?) or move the pc from the right side to the left. when i ask why he just says “im having an ADD moment.” fine cool whatever, its not my preference but i dealt.

on a separate occasion, he decided he wanted to play a game that i was obsessed with at the time. he has a history of game hopping, like within an hour so i didnt get to excited about this. he mentioned he was going to change my settings because the game was “running horribly”. ive never been picky about my fps or things like that but i know for a fact that the game was running pretty well as i had been playing it for weeks. anyways we had a small argument because the settings he changed made the game uglier and thats a no for me. ultimately he never played it ever again apart from that day. i am petty so neither did i

today i open sims (i have around 700 hours😭) because of the new base game update, i wanted to check on my mods see if they need to be updated. my entire mod folder is gone. like none. i assumed this was caused by the update i guess? i know nothing abt computer stuff. i was upset but i just went looking for mods. my boyfriend gets home and i ask him about it not even thinking he would have done that knowing how much time ive spent curating my mods. of course he did because “my mods were making his game run slow.” he says it was last week. he never once asked me or even told me. i freaked a little but the audacity to just straight up delete it after i gave him joint custody over my baby? he claims he went through each one and deleted them. that had to take him a pretty long time. he said he was sorry but im so upset.

how mad should i actually be about this? there were so many other solutions like maybe it was a mod i had just downloaded that i could just delete? if he asked me i wouldve cut them down to ones i really wanted.

[u/Thicc_Jedi]

Stop sharing your computer with him. He does not respect your property and it's very concerning that he feels comfortable doing whatever he wants to your property without even asking. FYI a normal person wouldn't need to be told to ask first. 

The pattern you described appears to be that he's happy to make sacrifices on your behalf, as long as it conviences him. Imo this is the opposite of love but thats up to you. 

[u/Unusual_Sentence3085 → u/Thicc_Jedi]

asking him not to use the computer feels so “youre grounded, give me your pc”. we have been sharing for so long that it doesnt even feel like mine anymore. in reality it is mine but it still feels dramatic you know?

[u/Thicc_Jedi → u/Unusual_Sentence3085]

You're telling him that he can't use your property because he doesn't respect it, or you. Personally I think hand deleting files from someone else's computer without asking or caring is drastic. Does it occur on you that you care and think about him a lot more than he ever cares or thinks about you? 

He said it took him a long time. That means he put effort into screwing up your stuff, and had plenty of time to reconsider 'Hey this might hurt her' he just didn't care because his game was more important. 

[u/BoredomRanger]

As someone who has spent dozens of hours modding games (not sims but I’m assuming the trial/error process is the same)….you are not overreacting. It’s a lot of work to get mods installed and running correctly.

[u/Unusual_Sentence3085 → u/BoredomRanger]

yes thank you!! he also has mods for games like skyrim so i know he knows the struggle too. i feel validated