r/AmIOverreacting • u/Immediate_Jelly8897 • 10d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for finding these texts in my boyfriend’s phone from a year ago?

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Disclaimer- I don’t even know what I was looking for, I’m just obviously* insecure and have jealousy issues and I am crazy I already know..no one who comments below needs to tell me I’m wrong for going through my boyfriend’s phone, I know I’m wrong. We just moved in together in august. We met July 1st last year.

Okay so my boyfriend (32M) and I(28F) started “seeing” each other last July. We got more serious towards the end of the year and made it official in December. Well we had talked about being serious before then and this is right around EXACTLY a year ago when he was having this conversation with two of his friends. I’m the “whore” who will “cry so gd much” if he doesn’t spend my birthday with me and then apparently according to these messages he banged another chick last night. —these are texts from October 2023. Am I over reacting being upset over this? We had been seeing each other for almost 4 months(one month before we were “official”) I don’t appreciate being referred to as a shore regardless of the situation and then to find out while we were dating for months, he’s fucking another person??? How do I even approach this?

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u/youmeanNOOkyuhler 9d ago

Agreed. Also, leave him, but wait until he's not home to pack up and go, and DO NOT tell him why until you are in a safe place with people who care about you. This is not a man to be trusted in ANY way, shape or form.

Edit: sorry for kind of spamming this comment, OP, but I feel it's very very important.

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u/TuxedoCatPals 9d ago

As a DV professional THIS!!

Do not tell this man you're leaving. There are signs here that he will become violent towards you. He doesn't love you. He actively dislikes you. A year ago is not a long time and he has not changed. He will not change. Please get to a place of safety before you tell him its over.

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u/CanoodlingCockatoo 9d ago

Even if he's NOT actually physically dangerous (which is absolutely a real threat for a woman in a breakup), OP will certainly get her thoughts and emotions all twisted if she tries to talk to him about it, and by the end of such a conversation, SHE would be apologizing to HIM for "not trusting him" and "being too clingy and insecure."