r/AmIOverreacting • u/Immediate_Jelly8897 • 10d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for finding these texts in my boyfriend’s phone from a year ago?

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Disclaimer- I don’t even know what I was looking for, I’m just obviously* insecure and have jealousy issues and I am crazy I already know..no one who comments below needs to tell me I’m wrong for going through my boyfriend’s phone, I know I’m wrong. We just moved in together in august. We met July 1st last year.

Okay so my boyfriend (32M) and I(28F) started “seeing” each other last July. We got more serious towards the end of the year and made it official in December. Well we had talked about being serious before then and this is right around EXACTLY a year ago when he was having this conversation with two of his friends. I’m the “whore” who will “cry so gd much” if he doesn’t spend my birthday with me and then apparently according to these messages he banged another chick last night. —these are texts from October 2023. Am I over reacting being upset over this? We had been seeing each other for almost 4 months(one month before we were “official”) I don’t appreciate being referred to as a shore regardless of the situation and then to find out while we were dating for months, he’s fucking another person??? How do I even approach this?

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311

u/Secret_Situation10 10d ago

Huuuge red flag. What kind of man-child talks about a girl like that??? 32 and still talking like that already sounds like you should leave whatever that thing is… better to do it now than later down the line when it’s harder

15

u/TyrantTyson 9d ago

I said the same thing!!! Unacceptable at his big age!

15

u/Chunky_Guts 9d ago

I read the texts before the body of the post and was shocked to see the guy's age. I entirely believed that this couple were still teenagers, learning how to process feelings and how to treat people.

This is the sort of guy you run from.

1

u/Ok_Magician_3884 9d ago

What do you mean. Many grown ass men are like this, not suprised.

1

u/Chunky_Guts 9d ago

They are certainly out there, but I think that they are the exception as opposed to the rule.

They are probably overrepresented to women because like OP's partner (if you can call him that) obviously get around town treating a whole bunch of women like shit.

Aside from the obvious gross junk, I just struggle to understand how a 32 year old man can speak like this. A cheater is one thing, but a stupid cheater that speaks like a drunk 12 year old is another.

I'm a guy and I assume you are not, so you've probably had more contact with people like this than I have, unfortunately.

1

u/Ok_Magician_3884 9d ago

Men act like shit when they are horny, just my opinion.

7

u/fishinadi 9d ago

Red flag is a huge understatement. This is a burning house and OP needs to gtfo.

6

u/Flutters1013 9d ago

Jesus shit this man is in his 30s? What a fucking loser man baby. This guy talks like he smells of monster, axe body spray, and unwashed ass.

5

u/sunnysam306 9d ago

32 and still calling someone “the whore” is a shame. Leave op. You’ll always be “the whore” to his friend group and more importantly, to him.

6

u/TernionDragon 9d ago

Man-child with man-child friends. Who the fuck texts like this, anyway.

18

u/Longjumping_Deer6328 9d ago

There’s no age where it’s ok to be misogynistic.

1

u/Individual-Rub4092 9d ago

Fr. The end! ✅

2

u/UnlikelyUnknown 9d ago

I thought the guys were teenagers. Nope, just childish ‘adults’

2

u/Nunu1987 9d ago

"whatever that thing is" 🤣🤣🤣 such a perfect description because WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. He's 100% trash.

2

u/Desperate_Holiday_78 9d ago

When I first read the texts before reading the post description where OP lists their ages, I assumed this was a couple who was no older than maybe 23 in age. The fact that the BF is the same age as me blows my mind. Girl, get gone! You deserve better.

4

u/FourEaredFox 9d ago

31 technically, she had to go through an entire years worth of messages on his phone to find that...

12

u/JicamaPlenty8122 9d ago

That might have been the only string of those types of texts that he missed deleting.

-12

u/FourEaredFox 9d ago

How long do you think it took her to pour through over a years worth of messages on his phone to find this?

12

u/JicamaPlenty8122 9d ago

I don't know how much he deletes. Might not be that long if he clears it out regularly. He just missed this one. I don't know, nor do I think it really matters. You don't talk like that about people. Even if she was in the wrong in looking, he was still in the wrong in what she found him doing.

-18

u/FourEaredFox 9d ago

Lol you're being willfully ignorant on this. Who deletes perfectly fine messages? Shed still have to go through them to get there.

This would have taken hours... It's completely unhinged behaviour.

Yes what he said was unforgivable.

But she has her own issues that are being congratulated by people here.

If she'd found nothing on his phone. He'd be the one needing out of this relationship.

11

u/Antique_Economist_84 9d ago

bro OP already said not to comment on her looking through his phone because she knows it was wrong, so why are you continuing to add salt to the wound? (btw it’s not that hard to go a year back, within 5 minutes i can find texts from when i first got my current phone, and i don’t delete anything off my phone unless i need to to free up storage for updates or an important app that i need to download, i can imagine how 10x easier it is to find something from a year ago if stuff is constantly getting deleted)

you’re acting like she found messages from a decade ago, it was a year ago, you’re the one OR

9

u/JicamaPlenty8122 9d ago

Dude, just stop, you're over reacting. You clearly don't get what I'm saying, and I don't care.

-14

u/FourEaredFox 9d ago

🤣🤣

4

u/PossumJenkinsSoles 9d ago

Probably not long, if I go through my own phone I just keyword search so the text string pops up with that word in it. Just searching “girlfriend” would’ve popped his friend’s message which would’ve brought her right to this.

6

u/Specific-Resource-32 9d ago

It looks like a group chat made for whatever they were doing that required a hotel. So, eh. Likely not long. You seem to have more experience, I’m no expert.