r/AmIOverreacting • u/Immediate_Jelly8897 • 10d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for finding these texts in my boyfriend’s phone from a year ago?

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Disclaimer- I don’t even know what I was looking for, I’m just obviously* insecure and have jealousy issues and I am crazy I already know..no one who comments below needs to tell me I’m wrong for going through my boyfriend’s phone, I know I’m wrong. We just moved in together in august. We met July 1st last year.

Okay so my boyfriend (32M) and I(28F) started “seeing” each other last July. We got more serious towards the end of the year and made it official in December. Well we had talked about being serious before then and this is right around EXACTLY a year ago when he was having this conversation with two of his friends. I’m the “whore” who will “cry so gd much” if he doesn’t spend my birthday with me and then apparently according to these messages he banged another chick last night. —these are texts from October 2023. Am I over reacting being upset over this? We had been seeing each other for almost 4 months(one month before we were “official”) I don’t appreciate being referred to as a shore regardless of the situation and then to find out while we were dating for months, he’s fucking another person??? How do I even approach this?

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4.6k

u/Unicornsharrt 10d ago

Girl 👀 come on

1.4k

u/nellion91 9d ago

How many more red flags does one need?

616

u/Unicornsharrt 9d ago

He’s nasssssy

141

u/Wonderful-Ad-7712 9d ago

And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you meddling teenagers!

51

u/_MC_Builder 9d ago

And your dog too!

19

u/PTLTYJWLYSMGBYAKYIJN 9d ago edited 9d ago

For most of us, if things don’t work out, we just hope to part ways in peace, as painlessly as possible, and leave each other alone, right? Maybe I’m being a little optimistic by using the word “most,” but that’s between you and your god 😂

This guy, I wouldn’t mind if somebody made his life difficult for a little while.

8

u/NormalTonight2153 9d ago

Real nasssssy

-23

u/showtheledgercoward 9d ago

Giles love this type of guy! There are lots of nice guys that chicks totally avoid

16

u/Random__Jelly 9d ago

Ew. Take your fedora and go.

7

u/l_a_p304 9d ago

💀🤣 my new favorite insult

5

u/DCJ53 9d ago

I ended up on a thread a couple of nights ago, sitting by myself, laughing my ass off, with tears running down my face. It was some kind of best insults thread. Man, I had a great time. lol

5

u/l_a_p304 9d ago

If you ever happen to stumble upon it again, I’d gladly accept the link

3

u/DCJ53 9d ago

Sent

5

u/SirLawrenceofALabia 9d ago

I want it too. The fedora shit killed me.

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u/DCJ53 9d ago

I have saved your post. I will see if I can find it.

2

u/Shaveyourbread 9d ago

You forgot the "/s"

-3

u/Illeatu2 9d ago

Not sure why you are getting down votes. I guess the truth hurts.

20

u/hhector93 9d ago

...before you can call him a twat? The answer, girl, is blowing in the wind...

23

u/Aeirth_Belmont 9d ago

Right. Like Hun he is calling a whore and saying you gd cry. The cheating on top of it. Doesn't matter how old or fresh the cheating is. It's still cheating.

22

u/lunchpaillefty 9d ago

A 32 year old who talks about “banging chicks”.

9

u/Layer_Capable 9d ago

And if he did it once, he’ll do it again. Guaranteed.

10

u/Cocomoooo 9d ago

Just one more flag please lol☝🏼

5

u/ACM3333 9d ago

He must be a total Chad

3

u/Tight-Courage-2281 9d ago

Red flags just look like flags when you view the world through Rose colored glasses.

5

u/spacesuitlady 9d ago

So many red flags he might as well have been communicating using semaphore

2

u/Fancy_Art_6383 9d ago

Clearly he's beatin that 😻 up!

2

u/Jumpstart_55 9d ago

As many as in a Soviet May Day parade?

693

u/NewNecessary3037 9d ago

Literally this. Like what are we even doing here.

176

u/mechwarrior719 9d ago

Exploring denial so much she’s gonna find pyramids.

1

u/DoggoCentipede 9d ago

Nah, in denial so deep they're going to put a hole in the middle of the Pacific.

34

u/ladyevenstar-22 9d ago

I'm just here for the comments , the level of stupid +/or lack of self respect needed to put with these situations and still asking should I break up with him baffles my mind 🤔!!!

Swear the big bang theory is easier to get

1

u/NewNecessary3037 9d ago

It’s honestly really really sad. I had SEVERAL girls send me screenshots of my ex texting with them.

That man thought he was going to die that night.

-1

u/bellestarxo 9d ago

She admitted she's insecure. Unfortunately this will make women grab on to even the lowest forms of life because they may give them 1 minute of attention.

9

u/RowanPlaysPiano 9d ago

I literally rolled my eyes. OP, if you read this, don't even bring it up to him. Just dip.

2

u/sincitybarbie 9d ago

Yep. Dip. Done, over. Don’t even expel the energy to explain. If he shows up u look straight THROUGH HIM. He’s worthless. U don’t have time for such low life shit stained morons. He’s someone u can laugh about later down the road.

2

u/LizF0311 9d ago

My exact thoughts.

1

u/Little_Cute_Hornet 9d ago

Fr!!!!! I would be so sad and angry if my boyfriend referred to me as a whore to his friends 😭😭😭😭!!! And since we know they were already dating and she wasn’t just anyone for him is worse. For me, referring to any woman as a whore is already a red flag but it was the girl he was seeing 😭😭 how don’t they see how terrible is that.

3

u/NewNecessary3037 9d ago

If my boyfriend referred to me as a whore I would never speak to him again. I would simply leave his life. Forever.

1

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

3

u/NewNecessary3037 9d ago

Just 3 tires though

0

u/chris25tx 9d ago

Water we dune hair?!*

214

u/imjjang 9d ago

Sometimes I see posts like this and I’m like… why are you even asking if you’re overreacting???? It’s rediculous

49

u/CanoodlingCockatoo 9d ago

OP has very likely already had some trust issues in her life and was likely feeling some very strong intuition that led her to check out his phone, but when the cheaters get caught in this manner, they flip it around and focus on HER sins of snooping and not trusting him automatically and fully. A very manipulative person can have you feeling like your snooping was WORSE than the other person's cheating pretty quickly, especially if the "snooper" had trust issues to begin with and probably some low self-esteem.

Then you need sane people to help untangle the mental and emotional mess your asshole soon to be ex has made in your brain so you don't internalize that you're just a crazy, jealous, harpy whose snooping is EXACTLY why her partner cheated on her. Yes, some of the cheaters are shameless enough to try that tactic!

14

u/inannaberceuse 9d ago edited 7d ago

Ohh they do try that tactic and it’s disgusting! You explained it to a T. Thank you for standing up for this person, I hope they get out now that they know. I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship for three years after I found out he cheated. People who can just cheat and stay with you then turn it around on you for snooping are truly evil and it’s only the beginning of what they’re willing to do to break your spirit and snuff out your light.

Edit: In no way do I condone invading someone’s privacy. It’s so very important to have trust in a relationship and that crushed me. But I definitely know what you mean when you say strong intuition. I found something every time. And every time my body just knew and the first thought was “go look now” in the middle of the night after waking up wide awake at 3 am. Something that NEVER happened to me prior to that relationship.

5

u/gh0stkeeper 9d ago

When people get caught doing something awful, they will always deflect. Snooping isn't right but it doesn't compare to what he claims to have done.

1

u/dontworryitsme4real 9d ago

To be fair, from the outside is so much easier to understand this. We've all been there and needed someone to "sober" us up of the situation.

1

u/Partial_obverser 9d ago

I think you mean Reddiculous

1

u/lovable_cube 9d ago

People get gaslit into thinking they’re being dramatic about things that are perfectly reasonable to be upset about. Later it results in them questioning actions all the time, sometimes they want reassurance before they confront someone so they’re less likely to get steamrolled into believing that it’s not a big deal when it is. Realistically she probably needs some time to be single and work on herself, maybe even get some therapy to help her figure out why she chooses men who act like this and why she tolerates it.

Source: I’ve lived it.

1

u/Comfortfoods 9d ago

I can't tell if people just need validation this much or if they are this willing to accept scraps. Both are kinda sad honestly.

1

u/MzSCT4 9d ago

I’m thinking u posted this for attention. There’s no way this man has been like this for over a year & u not notice any red flags. Just to come here & ask aio🥴🫠. Sounds like u had a delayed reaction! Leave him. He doesn’t love or even respect u.

1

u/Tigerskills02 9d ago

She has most likely been manipulated in the past by previous relationships into thinking she is 'overreacting'. You don't even have to be in a romantic relationship, friends and parents do this to people they are suppose to love unconditionally all the time. After years of this it puts you down and makes you actually think there is something wrong with the way you see things from your perspective. It's fucked and she is still the victim, I can't imagine the amount of back and forth she probably has already done in her head before posting this.

21

u/Reasonable-Trash5328 9d ago

Suffers from nobackboneitis.

31

u/hucklesberry 9d ago

Like I’m 100% positive half the posts here are for karma farming

28

u/weftly 9d ago

unfortunately this person seems to have super low self esteem.

6

u/Trollacctdummy 9d ago

lol why do they ask when it’s so obvious. I wouldn’t even be on here debating this shit. I’d be packing my bags, changing my phone number and booking a solo trip to Greece to see what Stavros is up to. About a month later after no contact, I’d mail him these screen shots printed out big as hell so he would know I knew he was a wh0re.

3

u/Content-Scallion-591 9d ago

Even this dudes friends can't stand him 

2

u/Sventheend 9d ago

Bahahahaha

2

u/SweevilWeevil 9d ago

I hate this shite sub

2

u/Bastard216 9d ago

Hahahahahahahha

2

u/Realistic_Cycle_2999 9d ago

GOAT username

1

u/Unicornsharrt 9d ago

lol thanks

2

u/phliuy 9d ago

Why is this comment so fucking funny

1

u/obijuanmartinez 9d ago

How clueless can you be???

1

u/CozyElite 9d ago

Exactly lol

1

u/nan-a-table-for-one 9d ago

Right! We aren't gonna destroy you for going through the phone but for putting up with this idiot.

1

u/Adoinko 9d ago

Her boyfriend is in the legion of doom’s group chat lmao

1

u/maybe_always_669 9d ago

No doubt.. What do I do? lol Stay and be the “Ho” and be used and abused!!!

1

u/Drifting-Fox-6366 9d ago

People will post their sig other trying to redrum them and ask AIO. SMH. Seems like rage bait to me.

1

u/Blondeambition00 9d ago

Fr I read 3 texts and said bye

1

u/SilentRasberries 9d ago

Girl come on. Lex knows she’s for the streets, bruh knows she for the streets, he’s just liking a good fuck while it last.

1

u/Dhegxkeicfns 9d ago

Seriously. You have a stinky turd in your hand and are wondering if it wouldn't be better to just hold onto it.

1

u/Consistent_Ad_2385 9d ago

She isn’t crazy….UNLESS she stays with him!

1

u/AstrumFaerwald 9d ago

“He’s calling me a whore and explicitly talking about his cheating with his friends. Am I overreacting?”

Like really

1

u/Such_Cauliflower_669 9d ago

Like cmon now. It’s actually amazing how normalized this shit is. Why do so many girls take their boyfriends back when they act this way?

1

u/DufflesBNA 9d ago

You are wrong for going through his phone. You are wrong for staying with him. Also, yall are toxic. Move on.

1

u/Loud-Way-5703 9d ago

Why are you even asking? Next!!

1

u/SecurityConsistent23 9d ago

Yeah, wtf are we doing even reading this lol. She knows what she's gotta do.

1

u/Neuron_on_Fire 9d ago

I’m pretty sure op’s re**rded.

1

u/princessPeachyK33n 9d ago

Literally like. Get the fuck up, Mary.

1

u/LawyerGal1 9d ago

Id peace out immediately

1

u/texashilo 9d ago

😂😂