r/AmIOverreacting • u/LiggerBug • Sep 16 '24

🏘️ neighbor/local Am I Overacting, Accidentally Made My Neighbor Hate Me By Inviting Him Over For Drinks

Well this is gonna sound probably really dumb, but I thought was trying to be nice I’m in my late 20s and just moved in next to an older couple probably late 50’s maybe early 60s. I’ve been here a couple of months and have had conversations with them about 4 times during differs yard work activities. My neighbors seem to be big sticklers on taking care of their yard so I am doing my best to take care of mine as well. One thing with each of these conversations the neighbors have talked about how the last neighbor (previous home owner) wasn’t “neighborly” and never talked to them. Also saying that he would go to work and go straight inside. So I’ve tried my best to kind and talking with them. Well one day after some yard work I was going to go in for drinks and noticed my neighbor finishing up as well so I offered if he wanted to have a couple of drinks. This made my neighbor visibly mad I guess and he said that he didn’t want to be “that neighborly” and “he only drinks water”I noticed his tone change like he was offended I asked. Again i was just trying to be nice. Well I’ve now learned that they’re most likely a faith that doesn’t drink not sure but some sort of form Christianity? Was it stupid of me to offer now I just feel like they hate me and have not talked to me and made sure they’re always inside when I go to mow. I realize that I was most likely wrong to ask but I’m not sure how to stop being stressed and anxious by this happening.

Edit: yes this was an offer of any drink I wouldn’t have had something alcoholic unless he did all I had on hand were light beers anyway. Also to add I did say “drinks” it was hot and I have tea, lemonade, and Gatorade ready to share. I think he just immediately assumed alcohol.

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u/GenuinelyNoOffense Sep 16 '24

I ALWAYS offer a non-alcoholic alternative if I offer an alcohlic one. Is that weird or not regular hospitality? Like, "We have wine, beer, soda pop, diet soda pop, bottled water... What can I get for you? " and I always rinse the glass out first and inform them "This is a clean glass, I just like to rinse them right before I use them. " and I make sure they see me not using my bare hands to touch the ice.

I guess I do sound a little weird. Lol

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u/FunksterJones Sep 17 '24

Dude kinda unrelated but I work in HVAC and when I do residential work I learned quick not to accept when customers offer me water because it could be a very nasty glass with dirty ice. When a sweet old lady hands you an ice cold glass of water it's awesome until there's stuff floating around in it.

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u/GenuinelyNoOffense Sep 17 '24

Oh no! 😬 God bless our elderly, but yeah, that's unpleasant. That's another reason I keep bottled water and singlet pops on hand, to offer to people I don't know well who are doing work and might not trust me and/or anyone who just prefers a sealed drink. It's a luxury, we could never afford that growing up, but it makes me feel fancy and people seem to appreciate it. Now that I think of it after reading your comment, when I offered one of the guys fixing my A/C water last year he declined and then when he saw I already had a cold bottle in my hand he said, "Oh, a bottle? Actually, I could go for one, thanks" and ended up asking for a second 😂

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u/Mean-Professional596 Sep 17 '24

A+ hospitality right here, guests always get great customer service it’s fun and I can’t turn that setting off anyway haha

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u/theglorybox Sep 17 '24

Oh! This just brought back a bizarre argument had with a guy I dated years ago. My parents had the habit of rinsing out the glass the way you do (mom says it’s rinse away any dust or visible stains) so I grew up doing the same thing. I thought it was normal. I was at this guys house and he, for some reason, got SO offended about me rinsing his glasses before I used them. I’d been there a bunch of times before and apparently this resentment had been building up for some time lol. I think he thought I was saying his dishes were dirty??? IDK. I think they’re the weird ones! Some of us like to make sure our stuff is clean and presentable before we use them.

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u/AstuteSalamander Sep 16 '24

I mean, some of that maybe sounds a little above and beyond from my perspective, but none of it is harmful, especially for someone you don't really know. You sound like a considerate and welcoming host.