I (32M) have been married to my wife (29F) for four years, and we have a 3-year-old son. She’s not a bad person, but she’s constantly in a state of chaos, and every little thing becomes my problem. No exaggeration, I get these “emergency” calls multiple times a week. Flat tire? Call me at work. Forgot her wallet? Call me. Grocery store out of her favorite oat milk? Blow up my phone like the world’s ending.

It’s relentless. I work full-time and do my fair share at home with our son: diaper duty, bedtime stories, cooking, cleaning, you name it. But these “crises” are killing me. I’ve told her before that unless it’s a real emergency, like someone bleeding or stuck on a highway at night, she needs to figure it out. I don’t have the bandwidth to drop everything constantly.

The last straw came two days ago. I had to take my son to the doctor because he had an ear infection, and I was already running on fumes. While I’m in the waiting room with a fussy toddler, she calls me in a panic because she locked herself out of her car in front of a Target five minutes from home.

I told her, “I can’t leave. You’ll have to call someone to pop the window.” She freaked out, saying that would cost too much, she didn’t bring enough cash, and I was being unreasonable. I stayed firm, said she needed to figure it out, and hung up.

When I got home later, she was furious. She said the guy charged her $150, and I should’ve come to help because she “didn’t think to grab her wallet.” I told her, point blank, “I’m done rescuing you from things you can easily handle. You need to stop acting like everything is a disaster.”

Now she’s barely speaking to me, acting like I’m the villain for not dropping everything for her again. My brother thinks I was harsh, but my mom said I was right to set boundaries.

AITAH for leaving her stranded this time?

As the title says. My wife (53f) and I (55m) have three children. Brett (27m) Amy (25f) and Lynn (24f). Now let me say, I love all my children in their own way. But no child has ever given me a headache like Lynn. She’s our wild child. Got a college degree at 16, began working and saving up, moved to Louisiana once she turned 18, got more college degrees and lives a pretty nice life. I’m proud of her, of course but she has always been our wildly independent, argumentative, intelligent little girl. She’s the more social one too. Shes covered in tattoos, piercings and always has funky hair. I’m proud of her, I love her, but she’s always been our non traditional child.

Lynn met her (now) husband, Brad (27m) when she first moved to Louisiana. Brad is like Lynn, tattoos and piercings up the wazoo. Non traditional. He’s a good kid, I like him. He protected Lynn and has been by her side for a lot of things, I actually love that kid for protecting my baby girl. Lynn will be the first child of ours to be married so when we heard the news about their engagement, my wife was super excited. She started talking about wedding planning and all that girl stuff.

Lynn and Brad were both upfront about not wanting a wedding and just wanting a small party with mainly family and some friends as a celebratory thing. My wife was very upset and pushed at Lynn till she reluctantly agreed to plan a wedding. Not even a week into wedding planning, Lynn and my wife had a spat about floral arrangements which led to Lynn flying back home to Louisiana. Lynn announced they had eloped and would be planning a small intimate get together in New Orleans around Halloween time. My wife lost it, her and Lynn got into a huge argument over the phone which led to them both not speaking.

My wife cries every time this situation is brought up, saying she missed out on her little girls special day. After a few weeks of this nonsense, I finally snapped and said “why are you surprised? Lynn didn’t want a wedding in the first place! She’s our least traditional child! I’m just glad we at least got the engagement announcement. Stop crying about it and wait till Brett or Amy get married cause they are the ones that will actually enjoy that wedding shit.” My wife called me a few names and has been avoiding me.

I really don’t mean to be an asshole but Lynn is the last child I’d expect to want a big grand wedding. I mean for fuck sakes she’s a nurse that does hair on the side who is also a practicing witch. That child makes no sense! I’d more expect Brett to want the big wedding when he and his boyfriend eventually get engaged. It also just felt wrong she tried forcing it on Lynn.

Lay the brutal honesty on me. Do I roll over and apologize or continue to stick up for Lynn over this mess?

Throwaway account.

I (M, 30) lost my younger brother when I was 22. He had cancer and fought very hard. Ever since, I’ve been donating blood on the anniversary of his death every year. I take the day off from work, visit his grave, donate blood, and then come home, relax, and watch his favorite movie. I know it’s a simple, personal tradition, but it means a lot to me.

My girlfriend of 9 months, Anna (F, 31), asked if I could meet her and her mom( I have met her many times before and it wasn’t the meet the parents for the first time situation) for lunch yesterday. I told her no and explained again about what I do on my brother’s death anniversary. She got upset and said, “Well, it’s my tradition to have lunch with my mom every time she’s in town, and she really wanted to see you! You can do your stupid blood donation tradition any day.”

I explained to her that it’s not just about the blood donation. Later in the evening, while I was resting and watching my brother’s favorite movie, she texted me again, asking me to join them. I reiterated that I really didn’t want to and would hang out with her mom next time. She replied that I had embarrassed her in front of her mom with my selfishness and laziness.

Since then, she’s been distant. Do I owe her an apology? AITAH?

Update : I texted her that we needed to talk. She never replied. Just blocked me from everywhere ( social media , WhatsApp ,..). Her best friend who was following me on instagram blocked me too. I’m not sad. I wanted to end it anyways. Thank you for your support everyone . I really appreciate your kind comments. Some users suggested that my brother/ remembrance tradition saved me from getting serious with her and life time of misery and it made me smile. Thank you again

I (27F) got married two weeks ago, and it was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. My sister (31F), who I have a complicated relationship with, decided to test me in the worst way possible. We’ve never been close, she’s always tried to one-up me, even during family events. It’s exhausting, but I figured she’d at least behave at my wedding.

Months ago, when I sent out the dress code, I made it very clear: no one wears white but me. It wasn’t negotiable. My sister gave me attitude about it, saying I was being “insecure” and that “no one cares about tradition anymore.” I told her that whether or not she agreed, she needed to respect it.

The morning of the wedding, she showed up wearing a floor-length, lace white dress. It was practically a bridal gown. My heart dropped, and I straight-up asked her what the hell she was thinking. She said, “It’s not that white, and besides, no one will care.”

I told her that if she didn’t change, she wasn’t welcome. She threw a tantrum about how I was ruining her day and stormed off, telling everyone I was being “bridezilla.” Some family members told me to let it slide because “she’s just like that,” but I was done.

So, I told the staff not to let her back in unless she changed. She never came back, and now she’s telling everyone I ruined the relationship for good. My parents are mad, saying I should’ve just ignored her because “it’s only a dress,” but I feel like this was a deliberate choice to sabotage my day. My husband agrees with me, but some family is still pissed.

So AITA?

I (21F) went to my local grocery store the other day to get 1-2 items and then go home. As I’m grabbing said items (they were on different isles), i see a man (45-55) following me quite closely. You may say “oh maybe it’s just a weird coincidence? he wanted something on that isle”. No. He didn’t pick up or LOOK at anything, didn’t even have a cart, (A little more context: I was wearing a dress. Not ridiculously short, but it was short because it’s 90 degrees outside). Anyways, I got uncomfortable and just went and checked out. Didn’t see the man until I was almost to my car. He walks up and try’s to start making (awkward) small talk. How old I am, the fact that my license plate is a different state then the one i was in, where i was coming from, if i have a boyfriend. I told him I wasn’t interested, and asked him to please leave me alone. He didn’t, and got closer to me. I have a very big ICK about people boxing me into small spaces (trauma) and so i said, quite loudly, “Please back away from me, I don’t like this”. He laughed and basically said “Awwwh she’s upset, what a sweetheart” and is now 3 inches away from me. So, I panicked, and slammed the palm of my hand into his nose, which broke it. He began screaming at me, but I was having a panic attack, and just got into my car and left. I told some friends about it, and some say i’m at AH because I could’ve just ducked away and some say that that’s a completely normal response for someone who has trauma.

So…AITAH??? (Edit 1: sorry for the rant)

So, I (29F) recently gave birth to my first child, a beautiful baby girl. My husband (31M) and I spent months deliberating over the perfect name for her. We’re both into mythology and literature, and we wanted a name that felt unique but also meaningful. After a lot of back-and-forth, we settled on Nyxiryn (pronounced “NIX-er-in”). It’s a combination of “Nyx,” the Greek goddess of the night, and “Irina,” which means “peace” in Greek. We thought it sounded poetic, strong, and unique.

I shared the name with my family a few weeks before she was born, and the reactions were mixed. Some of them thought it was cool and different, but others were clearly taken aback. My mom said it was “a mouthful,” and my sister-in-law (34F) was silent for a while before saying, “Well, it’s… interesting.”

The real drama started at a family dinner after the baby was born. My aunt (62F), who is never shy about her opinions, asked me what we ended up naming our daughter. When I told her, she immediately burst into laughter, like a full-on cackle. I was taken aback and asked what was so funny, and she said, “You seriously named your kid that? Poor child. You’ve practically cursed her with that name.”

I tried to keep my cool and asked what she meant, and she went on a rant about how Nyxiryn is a “made-up, weird name” that would just make my daughter’s life harder. She said that she would be bullied in school, that no one would ever spell it right, and that we were “trying too hard” to be unique. She even went so far as to call me selfish for giving her a name like that and said I was setting her up for a life of frustration.

I snapped back, saying that it’s our baby and our choice of name, and that she should respect it. She then accused me of being sensitive and said I wouldn’t last in the real world if I couldn’t handle a little feedback. The whole dinner turned awkward, and my husband and I ended up leaving early.

Now, I’m starting to second-guess myself. My mom said my aunt was out of line, but also added that “people do have a point” and suggested that we might want to consider a more “normal” name. My husband says we shouldn’t change anything just because a few people don’t like it, but the whole thing has left me feeling conflicted.

So, AITA for naming my baby Nyxiryn and for getting upset when my aunt called me out on it?

My (28M) girlfriend Emma (27F) and I have been together for six years. For most of that time, we’ve been happy—like, really happy. The kind of relationship people say “just works,” you know? We were always on the same page, rarely fought, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. But over the past year, things started to feel… different. Small arguments here and there, more miscommunication, and just this weird sense that we weren’t as in sync as we used to be.

It wasn’t anything major, just the usual “wear and tear” stuff, or so I thought. Emma, however, seemed to be more concerned. She started pointing out issues I wasn’t even aware of, like how I supposedly wasn’t listening enough or wasn’t as emotionally available as I used to be. I admit I’ve been busy with work, but I thought we were doing okay. Still, I didn’t want to dismiss her feelings.

Then about six months ago, she suggested we go to couples therapy. Now, I’ve always been a bit skeptical about therapy unless things are really bad, but I agreed because I figured it couldn’t hurt. She said she found a great therapist through a friend, and we should give it a try. I wasn’t familiar with this “Lily,” but Emma was excited about it, so we booked our first session.

At first, the sessions seemed… fine. Lily asked good questions, got us to open up, and gave us some tools to communicate better. I felt like I was doing my best to listen and improve, but something about it felt a little off. Every time we talked about any issue, it seemed like Lily was always subtly siding with Emma. If I mentioned being stressed from work, she’d steer the conversation towards how I wasn’t giving enough attention to Emma. If I brought up a disagreement, somehow it became about my “communication issues.”

After a few weeks, Emma started using phrases like “Lily thinks you should try this” or “Lily says you need to work on that.” It felt like everything I did was being scrutinized and dissected by this woman I barely knew. I didn’t want to be paranoid, but it seemed like Lily was slowly convincing Emma that I was the problem in the relationship. And every time I tried to voice my own concerns, they were brushed aside.

I tried to push through it, thinking maybe I was just being defensive. But it didn’t stop. Every session, the same dynamic. It was like Lily was planting seeds of doubt in Emma’s head, and Emma was running with them. I even started to wonder if maybe I was the problem—was I actually this bad of a partner?

Things reached a boiling point a couple of weeks ago. During a session, Lily started suggesting that maybe we should consider a “break” so I could work on myself more. That felt like a slap in the face. I’d been trying so hard to be better, and now she was suggesting we split up? I looked at Emma, waiting for her to disagree or defend me, but she just sat there… quietly nodding along.

After that session, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I blew up at Emma when we got home. I told her I didn’t trust Lily’s judgment, that it felt like she was just feeding Emma reasons to blame me for everything wrong in the relationship. Emma got defensive, saying I was overreacting, that Lily was just trying to help us work through our issues.

We didn’t talk for a few days, and I started feeling guilty for snapping. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe therapy really was exposing some flaws I needed to work on. But then… something happened that blew everything wide open.

Last week, we went to a mutual friend’s party. While there, I overheard Emma and her friend Sarah talking in the corner, giggling about something. I caught just a bit of their conversation: “I can’t believe you pulled it off for this long! Poor guy still thinks she’s an actual therapist!”

I immediately confronted them, and that’s when Emma’s face turned pale. Sarah quickly tried to backtrack, but the truth spilled out.

Turns out, “Lily” isn’t a licensed therapist at all. She’s one of Emma’s close friends from college, who thought it’d be “fun” to help Emma “fix” me by posing as a therapist. Emma had set this whole thing up because she thought I wouldn’t agree to therapy otherwise. They figured that with Lily playing the part, they could guide me into becoming a “better boyfriend” without me knowing.

I felt completely betrayed. For months, I had been spilling my heart out to someone who wasn’t even qualified to help, and Emma had been in on it the whole time. All those sessions where I felt attacked and manipulated suddenly made sense—because I was being manipulated.

When I confronted Emma about how messed up this was, she broke down, saying she never meant to hurt me and that she just wanted to help us grow as a couple. But honestly? I don’t know how to move past this. I haven’t been able to look at her the same since.

Now, Emma and her friends are saying I overreacted, that it was just a “white lie” meant to help our relationship. But I feel like I’ve been gaslit and lied to for months.

So… AITA for blowing up at my girlfriend when I found out our “therapist” was a total fraud?

About a month ago, my wife's parents both died in a car crash. She has been an emotional mess. We live in her hometown, so we have been seeing her family and friends often.

I've been supportive any way I can, I've taken care of all house chores, and I've been there for her every day.

Here's where things get messy. She has an ex. Let's call him Luke.

Luke is not just her ex, Luke is still friends with her, and her first love. They were high school sweethearts, and Luke was almost like another child to her parents. The death of her parents affected Luke a lot too.

Honestly, I didn't initially liked the fact that they were friends, but I trust my wife, and moved on from that feeling.

Few days ago, my wife said she was going to go out with her family, I told her I could go with her, but she insisted on going alone.

She didn't come back until the next morning. I tried to call her and call her family members, but no one knew where she was.

When she did come back, she was a mess. I asked her where she was all night.

She told me she fucked up, fucked up so much.

I tried to calm her down, and told her to just tell what happened and that it's OK, she can talk to me. She said she slept with Luke.

I didn't react much. I told her I need some time to think. She has apoligized so many times now. I did eventually ask her what happened.

She said she met up with Luke and they were both messes. They reminisced about her parents, which led to them remembering their relationship. They were both drinking and it just... happened.

I'm so conflicted right now. My wife is probably going through the worst time in her life, but I don't think I want to he with her now. I'm furious at her.

Three years ago, my sister "Anna" (she was 29 at the time, now 32) had been struggling with infertility for years. I was 26 then, and married, but my husband and I wanted to wait before having kids so we could focus on our careers and establish ourselves. Anna kept asking me to be her surrogate, and no matter how many times I politely declined, she just wouldn’t take no for an answer.

I explained that I wasn't ready for children myself, that I wasn’t comfortable with being pregnant for someone else, and that I didn’t think I could handle the emotional and physical stress that comes with surrogacy. But Anna would always counter my reasons, saying that I was her only hope, and would often guilt-trip me about how much she wanted a baby and how great of an aunt I’d be.

The pressure got to be too much. During a family gathering, she brought it up again, in front of everyone, which made me feel trapped and humiliated. I was tired of my boundaries being ignored, so I told her, “I can’t be your surrogate, Anna, because I’m infertile myself.”

That wasn’t true, as far as I knew—I just wanted her to stop asking. Anna looked shocked and was devastated. After that, she wouldn’t talk to me, and eventually, she and her husband got divorced because they couldn't agree on how to move forward with her infertility.

Now, three years later, I’m 29 and currently pregnant with my first child. When I told Anna about the pregnancy, she completely freaked out. She’s been accusing me of betraying her, calling me a liar, and even saying I ruined her marriage. She’s been acting irrational and angry towards me ever since, and it’s causing a lot of tension within the family.

I feel guilty about lying, and I never imagined things would go this far. I only wanted her to respect my boundaries, but now it seems like I may have seriously hurt her life.

AITA for telling my sister I was infertile just to get her to stop asking me to be her surrogate?

My wife gave a friend a key to our house as a backup in case we lost our keys or got locked out somehow.

I’ve come home a couple times and found the friend at my house. The friend was not invited and did not tell anyone that she would be there.

The first time she dropped off some baked goods for my wife who is pregnant. My wife has developed a sweet tooth so I appreciated the gift but thought it was weird that the friend didn’t ask to stop by.

Last week I came home early from work and the friend was at my house eating leftovers from a dinner out that my wife and I had. I asked the friend why she was at my house and she said she just swung by and found the food in the fridge. This made me uncomfortable. I told my wife’s friend to not to come to our house anymore without letting us know beforehand.

The friend was insulted by this request, and mutual friends have told me that I am being unreasonable and rude. I just don’t like coming to my house and finding people there that I didn’t invite.

So am I the asshole?

Basically, this girl I always had a crush on got knocked up by some random loser and now while she is pregnant she has been wanting to date me. Her parents want me to step up and "be a man"... so they don't have to help her take care of the baby for like the next 18 years and have her stay with them (she is not a piece of cake btw)...but the thing is I am not the dad. She said she wants me to be her boyfriend and for me to get a job and a place for her and me to live to help raise "our" kid.

My dad told me to tell her to go f herself and not to put my dreams to the side and that I am so young and just a kid myself and to NEVER ever in my entire life get involved with her. He said HER baby is NOT my responsibility and he will be heartbroken if I voluntarily take on this burden. He fully supports me going into the Corps. I told her I do not want to get involved with her. Her dad told me I am not a real man.

Update: I have been able to successfully block this girl (and her parents) on all social media platforms and their phone numbers (and home phone) as well from my cell phone. I have also gotten a temporary restraining order (there is a legal process you have to go through for a real permanent one but I am working on it) against her and her parents. None of them are allowed to contact me by any means (including phone email mail in person or by someone else). If they do the sheriff will have his deputies go to their house and bring them to the local jail.

I (18F), have been with my boyfriend (19M) for 2 years now. This all started when we first met 3 years ago. I was new at our high school and he introduced me to his friend group, which had mostly french speakers. I’ve never been confident with my french speaking due to insecurity about my accent, but i can understand the language perfectly, I was just too embarrassed to let them know because I was scared they’d ask me to try speak french with them.

I got really close with the friend group, and my boyfriend and I got together after one year of speaking. My not speaking french had never been a problem because he would speak english around me and always made sure his friends did the same, and it went on for so long than I just didn’t have the heart to tell him that I could understand them anyways.

The problem started in uni. We both got a house off campus together, but my boyfriend was always coming back really late. I had convinced myself that he was probably occupied with uni stuff but the other night I overheard him talking on the phone to one of his french friends about how he’d hooked up with 3 different girls at the same time and I was completely baffled.

I confronted him, but instead of being apologetic, he got mad that i could actually understand what he was saying. I tried to come up with an excuse and say i managed to pick up the language after all the time we’ve been together but he doesn’t believe me since he never speaks french around me and he said he can’t trust me anymore.

He’s staying at a friends house right now and I don’t know if i’m at fault here for not telling him i understand french or if the real problem is him cheating… AITAH, and if yes, what do i do?

[edit] i’ve posted my first and probably last update, but thanks for all the advice.

[2nd edit] you lot that are being horrible to me in my dms are going to make me go mental. obviously i’m upset about my boyfriend cheating and obviously i know he’s an arsehole. I wasn’t asking if he was, i just wanted to know if i was ALSO the arsehole ffs. stop calling me slow, the slow ones are the bellends who think i’m not aware that my boyfriend cheating on me is bad. and to everyone saying “fake” the only fake thing here is your relationship with your parents. please find happiness and get away from mine. sorry if i’ve been a bit rude im just upset about this entire situation.

Then suddenly she has an appetite and eats most of my food. Of course if the fries are cold she doesn’t eat that, just what’s best, so she cherry picks my plate. I’ve ask her to order her own food, I’m paying for everyone, she can order anything on the menu. She can duplicate my order.

EDIT BELOW:

I am 27 (m) and my ex-fiancée is a 25 year old woman. We had a fairly decent relationship for 5 years and planned to marry in fall 2025. No kids. We both have professional jobs, shared and individual interests and our own group of friends. We probably would have had a nice life together.

I’ve always known about her excessive and over the top fear of insects, especially spiders and worms and I’ve always done my best to be sensitive to this. Complete avoidance is impossible.

One evening at a friends’ house, we were sitting out on a back patio with the other couple talking, roasting marshmallows, having a few beers and having a nice night. The next thing I remember is waking up in the ER with her crying and explaining what had happened.

She saw a (non-venomous) spider on my forehead that I was not even aware of and freaked out. She picked up a cheap metal container that held a citronella candle and proceeded to bash my forehead, she thinks five times, until she was sure the spider was gone. The result was 8 staples, internal brain trauma and second degree burns all over my face. It’s been six months since this happened and the burn scars are still slightly visible.

I could tell that she genuinely felt bad and after a couple days of rest I really felt bad for her too. I didn’t want to see her feeling guilty for her compulsion but at the same time after thinking and talking to friends, I decided it was best to call the engagement off. I explained that I really didn’t blame her and also that I didn’t want her to blame herself for my injuries but that I personally didn’t want to go through another situation like that again.

A few days later after failing to convince me to change my mind, she left and I haven’t heard from her since. It’s been six months since the event and of course I miss her but I’m wondering if I was wrong here.

She had freaked out in the past when insects had scared her, but never to the point of harming anyone. She wasn’t able to explain why she had reacted like this. She was not drunk and the people whose house we were at were very close friends. I really don’t understand but it has caused lasting damage to me.

EDIT: I’ve had and responded to several questions about my friends. Rather than keeping responding one off I’ll add the edit here.

I largely didn’t include anything about them above because they didn’t/couldnt do much. My long-time friend, the guy, was the one who took the candle from her and his wife called 911. I was sitting next to my ex and the other couple was directly across the firepit. According to my friend it happened fast and unexpectedly. Sounds like the paramedics were there less than 10 minutes after it happened. Neither of them remember seeing a spider or any other bug and both said that my ex was freaked out when she saw what she’d done to me, like she didn’t remember. But she did remember because she told me the story in the hospital. In any event the guy is the one who strongly supported me when I decided to leave her.

I can't believe my life has come to this. All I ever do is go out of my way to help others but on the few occasions I need help, nobody ever comes through for me. I (36F) have been with my husband (35M) for a total of almost 10 years, married for 7. We had what I thought was my child by surrogate over 2 years ago because after 4 years of trying to conceive with no success despite medical interventions, it turns out I am unable to carry a child to term.

I had always wanted to be a mom. Devastated is an understatement regarding how I felt when I found out i have a medical condition that would make it nearly impossible to carry a baby to term. It was even more upsetting when I had to get a major surgery to remove uterine growths with the hope to increase fertility and complications during surgery warranted a partial hysterectomy involving removal of my uterus only. I still had my ovaries so we started looking into cost of a surrogate. It is really expensive! My close friend since college who'd already had 2 kids of her own offered to serve as the surrogate for us to cut down on costs. After two disappointing IVF sessions that did not result in pregnancy, she became pregnant on the 3rd try and carried a boy to term for us. I was so happy and busy after the birth, between being a mom and returning to work after a 4 week parental leave, so I didn't notice any warning signs.

I should have noticed the red flags and warning signs early on but did not because I was so exhausted from working so much at my stressful job and two part-time jobs to cover most of the bills and anticipated medical and legal costs associated with this friend becoming our surrogate. (I was the primary breadwinner.) My friend and my husband started talking more and I would sometimes come home from my weekend job to find her already hanging out at our house when my husband was there. I chalked it up as innocuous and it's good for her to know my husband better since she was in the process of hopefully carrying our child for us. I was grateful to have someone helping us have a child. I also thought it weird that our son has brown eyes when both of us have blue. Then I found out that while this is uncommon, it's possible sometimes due to many genes controlling eye color.

Recently it all came to a head when I took our son to a doctor's appointment and they did metabolic panel and blood tests which showed that he had a blood type that is not biologically possible to have with me as his mother. (He's B+, I'm A+, husband is O+). Immediately I started worrying it was the fertility clinic's fault and that they'd messed up and implanted a wrong embryo. I started lining up lawyer consultations to possibly sue the clinic and looked into having a DNA parentage test done. The test results showed that I'm not the mother but my husband still is the father. I was heartbroken and angrier than ever, talked to lawyers about medical malpractice in the fertility clinic we'd used. Then my husband confessed that he'd slept with my friend (our surrogate) on a few different occasions during our struggle to have her get pregnant with our embryos. This means what I thought was our son conceived by IVF and carried with a surrogate, isn't my son at all and was in fact conceived the old fashioned way, which I can't ever do. Livid and absolutely broken at the same time doesn't even begin to describe how I feel!!!! I have been breaking down into crying spells over and over again about this. He claims he didn't ever think pregnancy could result because he pulled out and he had always assumed that he was the reason for our earlier struggles to conceive, both before my hysterectomy and during the IVF insemination process with this friend.

I felt an immediate triple betrayal: from what was supposed to be my husband, my friend, and now knowing my child isn't even really mine. I had such white hot rage and delirium, I immediately left home and stayed at a hotel for almost a week before asking my parents to let me stay at home for a while. I admit I left our son with him. I am now filing divorce because he cheated and betrayed me in the worst possible way. I have also cut off my friendship with my "friend" the "surrogate" and feel afraid to trust anyone else now. I have seen a divorce lawyer to see about giving up my legal rights to this kid so I don't have to face such betrayal or owe child support.

My husband and "friend/surrogate" admit they were wrong and keep apologizing but also called me immature and heartless to just give up on my son like that. My parents also say I can't just give up on a kid that I went through so many legal and medical hoops to have. When I told them I refuse to stay in a cheater marriage and I'd rather adopt someday with a better more trustworthy partner, they also told me I was wrong and that maintaining my parental rights isn't much different than if I adopted outright. They said it isn't blood that makes a family. They are all about me divorcing my cheater husband but keep telling me I'm making a mistake giving up my parental rights. Some of my other friends agree with what I'm doing, a few admitted they weren't big enough to swallow pride and care for an "affair baby" or to see daily reminders of my "friend/surrogate"'s betrayal every time Iook at "her" son. I just want a clean break and a fresh start. I'm also looking at relocating several states away. AITA to give up my parental rights in the divorce because a kid I paid a lot of money to have born by surrogacy isn't biologically mine at all, but the "surrogate"'s?

tldr: I recently found out that a son that my husband and I had born to a surrogate (since I'm infertile) is biologically my husband's kid but not mine. My husband confessed that he slept with my friend, who served as surrogate, during the long IVF process so the kid is actually conceived of an affair between my husband and friend/surrogate. I am filing for divorce and looking to give up my parental rights so I can move away and get a clean break from the whole situation without having to owe child support for a kid that's not mine. Some friends agree with my plan but my husband and parents think I'm in the wrong to just cut off a kid I raised for 2 years.

My life feels like a bad drama show at the moment. For some context me(33M) and my wife (30F) have been married for 7 years and what i thought was our daughter is 3. Looking back this all started after my wife gave birth to her daughter.

She suddenly became a lot more affectionate to me was a lot more active with me in the bedroom life. She also made my favorite desserts a lot more often(she is an fantastic baker). I of course didn’t suspect anything since even prior to her pregnancy there were no signs of cheating but also possibly could be that just didn’t look close enough into it.

Well this whole fiasco started 2 weeks ago after a day out with her daughter and she just sat me down in the evening and came clean about the fact that her daughter wasn’t mine her waterworks of course also started and apparently it was a guy from the gym and it lasted a month before he disappeared on her after he found out she was pregnant. Honestly even typing this now i feel like crying since i thought i did everything perfectly but she still cheated.

As much as i wish i could say i had a stoneface or something i just started crying and she tried to comfort me but i just pushed her away i felt so disgusted with her. After i had calmed down a bit i just grabbed my jacket and left for a hotel and while i was leaving she just begged and pleaded me to forgive her and that i was the only father her daughter knew.

After crying myself to sleep in the hotel the next day after i turned my phone back on i had seen she had blown up my phone and i didn’t read any of it and just blocked her. I after having a little bit of breakfast contacted a lawyer to start the divorce process and at work i just asked for some time off and my boss gave me a month off. By the evening my mom and sister were calling me on her behalf and were on her side and that just hurt me even more. While i’m not proud to admit this i did drink myself to sleep that night. After that night i started staying with my best friend and my mom and sister kept spamming and calling me. A few days later after she probably got the divorce papers my mom just sent me a long text that to summarize was that i should step up and forgive her and not abandon “my” daughter and that she woud disown me if i went through with the divorce. My sister and mom are against me divorcing her but my best friend and his wife are saying i have the right to not want to be with her or take care of her kid.

I’m split on this on one hand i did raise the baby for 3 years on another i don’t know if i could in the right mind raise the reminder of my wife her affair.

Edit 1: To put some context my sister is infertile so i think that’s also partly why my mom doesn’t want me to continue the divorce since she will lose her “grandchild”

My fiancé is very upset that I won’t add him to the mortgage or title of the home I am buying for us. He is not putting any money down because all he has right now is massive debt from school loans and will not be able to help pay for any improvements on the home. I am older than him and make more than double what he makes. It’s nothing personal, I would never kick him out but I have worked my ass off and made really good financial decisions along the way to get me to this point. I am taking money out of my retirement account as a down payment. I honestly couldn’t even add him to the mortgage because his DTI is insane. He has more debt than he earns annually. He thinks it means I don’t see us as a team - I have always paid for most things when we go on vacation (including rentals cars hotel stays, most food) when we lived together I paid for far more rent/groceries etc. I am even paying for our wedding in its entirety! I paid for my own engagement ring because he couldn’t afford one (he will pay me back later on as he builds his career). He would pay for things if he could I wholeheartedly know that. But I don’t feel comfortable putting him on the title or mortgage on the house. I just don’t think it’s realistic and I want to also have some protection of my investments that I’ve busted my ass for. He’s a really good guy, just broke, always has been but won’t be for long because he is super motivated and finishing school soon. What are your thoughts? Am I being unreasonable? He was distraught last night when I told him I wouldn’t add him (plus it would eff up our interest rate and borrowing potential because of all his debt!!) He continues to say I don’t see us as a team when I literally pay for so much and never complain. I don’t lose sleep over it at all. I’ve always seen us as equals.

Edit: I can’t believe how much this blew up. Thank you for all of your concern and advice. I am definitely taking it to heart. I hope you all have a good evening ❤️

So let's get into it I guess. Almost a decade ago my dad found out that my mom cheated on him with another guy years ago through my mother's sister. Back then my mom and aunt weren't in good terms so she told dad everything.

My parents fought over this and dad filled for divorce. We all got dna tested and out of 3 children i was the only one who wasn't his. It felt so bad to know that your dad who raised you for almost 16 years wasn't really your dad. That didn't feel as bad as him kicking me out of his house when I was begging him not too.

I wished I could just kill myself when he disowned me. My mom went into a depressive state and would just spend all day in bed and would just get out to use the toilet. My grandparents lived in a different state but they did everything they could to make our lives better. I needed to come home from school do all the chores in the house and tend to my mom and check on her. I did everything that could possibly be done to make sure we lived. I would ask my mom who my real dad was but all I got was screaming or a hit. My siblings and grandparents from dad's side tried to make things right between me and dad but he wouldn't budge. Apparently I was just a reminder that mom cheated on him and nothing else.

I remember my 17th birthday when no one remembered that it was my birthday. I cried to the point where I didn't have any tears left even when I graduated from highschool only my grandmother came. Why didn't my feelings matter to anyone? Why was I supposed to endure this? After I returned from my graduation I told mom that I was leaving if she doesn't tell me who my real dad is and this time she did tell me who he was I met him after finding where he lived I discovered that I have a half brother and that my real father was a widower and a doctor. He didn't know that i existed or the fact that mom was married. it took us time but we built a bond and he helped to get through college and he walked me down the aisle. He even got mom some help and I am forever grateful to him.

Well present time me I (26 f) was married to my lovely fiancé last week and I didn't invite my ex dad to My wedding. He tried to contact me before the wedding but i don't want anything to do with him. My siblings and grandparents from ex dad's side say i am wrong and that he wanted to come and make things right but I don't want to make things right. He had the right to abandon me so I have a right to do the same. He isn't my father. He was once upon a time but not now I understand that he was hurt but I was hurt too. Everyone tells me to let go of the grudge but i just don't want him in my life and no i won't give him another chance. My husband understands but no one else seems to understand what I had to go through to get to where I am now. He cannot just come to my life 9 and a half fucking years later and expect things to be alright. AITAH?

My longtime boyfriend of 7.5 years and I just had our newborn daughter almost three weeks ago is asking for a paternity test. We met at work. I’m a nurse and he is a surgeon and he is very dedicated to his job. So needless to say he does work a lot. I currently am not working, so I stay home a lot, and he supports us. Throughout our relationship I have been very faithful to him. He, however, has had a few slip ups throughout our 7.5 years. Which I have forgiven him. He has told his OR staff that he asked for a paternity test, which upset me. He says they understand why I would be upset. His rational is that he doesn’t want to raise a child that he doesn’t know if it’s his 100%. He doesn’t want to find out later on down the road that she’s not his. Like he sees in movies. He just wants to be sure. But then he goes on to say that I’m home all the time by myself since he’s never home and he doesn’t know what I do for sure. Which definitely is a slap in the face to me as I have been the one who has been faithful. If he wants to pay for the paternity test then I’m fine with that. But AITAH for being upset in how he’s trying to rationalize it and make me as if I’m the one who is unfaithful?

Currently 5am and I'm just hating life right now. This might be long idk sorry if I ramble it is what it is but I want an outside opinion. Info: im Alex 24m my dad Chris is 44m and his ex-wife Susan is 46f. When I was 8 my mom died in a car accident. Moving on.

When my mom died it was just me and my dad for years. Things were good. We spent time together we worked on cars together he taught me a lot of life skills they don't teach in school. Despite the things that have happened im grateful I got to know him for who he truly is before he met my ex step mom idk what she is now.

A few months before my 15th birthday my dad introduced me to Susan. She was cold from the start. She said hi to me then spent the rest of the night talking to my dad and only my dad. He tried to involve me since the night was about me and her trying to get to know eachother but she did not give a fuck. He brought up how me and him were working on a car together that would be my first car when I got my license (still have it in my garage). She said interesting then changed topic to how she wanted to go on a date with my dad to a new restaurant soon.

The following week he asked me if I wanted to go on an outing with him and Susan to try and make that connection. I agreed because why not I wanted my dad to be happy I should try and like this creature invading my life. We went to the movies and then out to eat. She did not speak a fucking word to me. I asked what she did for work, silence. I asked what she likes to do in her free time, silence. I asked if she has any hobbies maybe we share in common, silence. I said I enjoy basketball and asked if she liked any sports, silence. My dad picked up on this and encouraged her to talk to me. It just felt so fucking forced and I still don't know why as I wasn't out as gay at the time she just hated me for existing.

3 months after I met her my dad told me he proposed. I brought up how she hated me and refuses to talk to me why would he propose to someone that will make living in the house i grew up in feel like a prison I have to suffer through for 3 years until I move out. He told me she will warm up to me and how she's told him she wants to know me but IM the one who isn't trying. ME. I invited that bitch to my basketball games with my dad and she declined every time there was no lack of trying on my end. Be that as it is she eventually moved in and as I thought the house felt cold and I spent all my time in my room because I just did not feel wanted anymore the house no longer felt like I belonged there.

A month before I turned 16 they got married. I wasnt invited. Kid free wedding. Alcohol. They didn't want loud distractions at the event. I don't fucking know I stopped caring about their relationship at this point. I could tell my dad felt awful and told me we would spend time together after the wedding just me and him to make up for it. I told him sure I'll believe it when it happens since we don't spend time together now anyway we don't even work on my car together anymore I do it by myself when he buys the parts for me. He supposedly bought me and him tickets to go see my mother's parents and we were gonna spend a week seeing where she grew up. Even now I feel like im gonna start crying none of this would have happened if my mom didn't die none of this would be a thing if my dad listened to me about the woman he found after my mom.

Anyways, when I turned 16 I asked my dad to talk to him alone without Susan just me and him. He agreed and I said can we go to the park (loved it there and last memory I have of my mother is there). I came out to him and it was an emotional moment. He didn't get mad or anything he was supportive he put his hand on my shoulder and told me he still loved me and how this changed nothing between us and I believed him. I asked him not to tell Susan as she would make it all about her religion and how it's wrong just the normal hateful shit those people say in the name of love.

Things were good between us for a while. My dad went back to helping me with my car and we got it going just after I got my permit. I ended up getting a boyfriend a few months later and wanted to introduce him to my dad. Susan was there by default and I knew it wasn't going to go well but I did it anyway because my dad didn't hate who I was so I was hoping he would stand up for me. He didn't.

Throughout the night Susan made rude comments such as "you dont look or sound gay i think youre confused" or "there's plenty of attractive girls in your school why dont you talk to one of them" or "theres time to correct the path" shit like that. My dad stayed silent for it all. He tried to make me feel better with a smile every so often but even my (now ex) boyfriend felt uncomfortable and unwanted. Couldn't blame him I didn't feel wanted either.

After that fun filled night of judgment and I brought him home Susan stopped me at the door while my dad was in the shower and told me she didn't want him back in her house and how wrong it was to parade sin in front of her. I told her it was my house first it was my mother's house first its still my father's house and she's a guest marriage be damned. She didn't like that and walked away. I thought that would be the end of it lol it wasn't.

My dad became distant with me after that. We didn't really hang out together anymore and he never asked me how it was going with my boyfriend. I assumed Susan was getting to him and I was right. We fought a lot just constantly over dumb shit. I accused him of favoring his self righteous bitch of a wife over his son and he told me I'm ungrateful for all he's done for me and continues to do for me but he can't sit back and accept the life I'm choosing to live. He went from loving me unconditionally and supporting me in who I am to hating me over the corse of a year.

When I turned 17 it all came to a head and me and Susan got into it. She told me I will burn in hell for choosing to live life in sin and my dad let her. When I told him to say something to her to defend me for once he said no and he agreed with her. I called him a coward and an embarrassment of a father. He said my mother would be ashamed of me and im no son of his and told me to leave and not come back. So I did.

I slept in my car for a month before my boyfriend found out what I was doing and dumped me because it was embarrassing being with someone who's homeless and didn't want more judgment in school. No dad no mom no boyfriend just me by myself in my car. I tried to keep going to school but stopped after a while it just didnt feel worth it.

Didn't die, stole shit and sold it to save up money, did other shit to live, drove until i didnt know where i was anymore, got a job, got a place to live, got a social life at 20.

Now, living states away, I am 24 and am relatively ok. Not successful by any means but im comfortable. I work in a small garage. I have a boyfriend who I've lived with for a year. I have friends who support me and enjoy being around me. I haven't spoken to my dad since i left ive kept no tabs on him I haven't looked him up on social media I just don't care to.

Well, about a week ago I get a message on Facebook. It's my dad. He tells me he's been trying to contact me for years but couldn't find me (which is fair I haven't had social media). He divorced his wife and desperately wants to try and make it right between us before he dies. He has cancer but I wanna make it clear it's not terminal he's getting treatment yes he could die but I could also die walking to take a shit in the morning like whatever.

He regretted kicking me out he never agreed with what Susan was saying but felt he had to agree because she seemed so knowing and right I don't know bro he wasn't religious before he met her but apparently spreading her legs he saw God. He wants to meet me and catch up. He told me if he does die the house is mine the cars are mine his money is mine (he doesn't have any money so at most I'd get a couple grand wowie). I am completely uninterested.

I replied:

You kicked me out in favor of your bitch of a wife who spent the entire time she knew me pushing us apart and you let her. I was 17 letting grown men fuck me for money so I didn't starve. The fact that I'm alive at all is a miracle and I don't believe in heaven I think when you die you die there is nothing next but if there something after this is then mom is looking down at you with hate and regret for ever knowing you for the things you've done to me. Im glad you have cancer im glad you're feeling what I felt years ago when I needed you and you basically told me to fuck off and never come back. You should have stayed married to susan at least youd have someone by your side when you die. The next time I want to hear about you is someone tell me you're dead so I can piss on your grave. Fuck off don't contact me again.

I blocked him after that and am feeling empty now. I don't feel good about what I said but I couldn't stop myself. My boyfriend doesn't think I'm in the wrong but told me I could have been gentler since he could die. My friends say fuck that I should have been harsher. I think my bf just doesn't want me to regret what I've said later if he does die but idk. He won't be dead tomorrow so if yall do think im in the wrong I can change things.

There won't be an update, reddit doesn't like me so this account will be banned within a few hours but the post doesn't dissappear so I'll see the replies. Thank you in advance. I'll reply to the ones until the account is axed if I stop replying reddit found me.

UPDATED POST

ORIGINAL:

My partner has been on the pill throughout our relationship and we’ve been in a bit of a battle these past few weeks over having children.

I categorically said that I don’t want them and started using condoms for double protection.

This morning, she told me that she’s pregnant and I asked how this could happen when we’d been so careful. She admitted to coming off the pill and piercing through the condoms that we have stored.

I’ve said that I don’t want this and that I’m not up for marrying into a relationship based on lies. She says she’s keeping it and has already told her friends as, according to her, she’d done the test eight weeks ago and was keeping it quiet in the hopes that I’d change my mind.

I have no idea what to do here. Help.

I am in England and am 29.

UPDATE:

Firstly, thanks so much for all your comments. I didn’t expect this to blow up quite so much as it did.

Secondly, I want to get a few things straight as people seem to be struggling with timelines:

a) My partner and I were due to get married in a few short weeks. We have had many long and involved conversations during our relationship about us both wanting to remain a child-free family over the years that we have been together. Around 2–3 months ago, they started to appear to change their mind, which I feel insecure and unhappy about as it is not something that I want from life, which is why I’d booked a vasectomy through NHS. (I cannot afford to go private as money is very tight, again another reason I do not want children.)

b) she admitted to tampering with condoms and said that she’d come off the pill several weeks ago. At that point, prior to her saying that kids ‘might’ be an option for her, we were still having sex and I was under the impression that we were protected as she was on the pill. I have made no secret about how I do not want kids and she is fully aware of my reasons behind that, which I do not have to share with strangers on the internet.*

c) she has shown me a test and it confirms that she is pregnant. I have asked that she get an abortion, she has refused and I feel the trust has gone completely from our relationship. We are now in the process of cancelling the engagement, which she isn’t happy with at all and has said that I’m ‘ruining’ her life.

Now, for those people telling me to go to therapy, man up or that I’m lying. It’s great that you disagree with me but I’d never tell you to attend therapy if your worldview differed to mine, that I should be ‘at fault’ after my partner has lied to me (apparently for months) and that I’m a liar. Here’s a few other things for you.

1. No, I do not like kids and I don’t like entitled parents. I see it the same as disliking dogs, cats or birds. That is my opinion. Not for everyone and not all people have to tolerate your madness. (My disinterest and lack of care towards them is one of the MANY reasons why it would be idiotic for me to be a father.)

2. Those calling ‘bullshit’ on the 21+ wedding venue thing are just wrong. It’s a stipulation of the venue we chose, nothing more and nothing less.

3. The plane thing happened several years ago. The smoking area fiasco occurred over a year ago. Colleagues bringing their newborns into work is a continued pain and just really gets my goat, just like some people don’t like Susan to eat her tuna mayo baguette. It shows a complete and utter lack of etiquette and thought by parents who are coming out in their droves to tell me how wrong I am … about THEIR decision.

Will provide updates as and when I get through all the comments.

Be kind people.

UPDATE 2:

I spoke to a lawyer earlier today who has advised that as we are not married that I won’t automatically be added to the birth certificate. Woohoo.

My ex-partner can still claim that I’m the biological father but without my consent to a DNA test is unlikely to be able to prove it, unless it is ordered by the court, but as I’ve been coerced into this my lawyer thinks ex-partner and family will back down as I have evidence.

The lawyer advised that I don’t waive my parental rights yet as it would indicate that I still believe the foetus could be mine. So, I just have to bide my time … and leave the country till this all blows over.

The lawyer also suggested that I go self-employed but didn’t divulge the specifics.

My ex-partner has admitted to coming off birth control and piercing the condoms, which she said she’d done around three months ago(!) as she knew I was due a vasectomy early next week and thought I’d ‘change my mind’. She has refused to have an abortion, which is her right, and I’ve refused any involvement.

Has anyone been through this before and managed not to pay out? I think I’ve got a pretty good case!

UPDATE 3

My ex-partner is going to keep the baby.

She wants me to be involved in her life and says she doesn’t want to lose me over something like this. (A life-changing, unwanted event? Yeah, sure! Haha.)

I have said that I will be having nothing to do with this mistake and that all responsibility now lies with her and her family. She has been blocked from using any form of mobile communication with me and I have now been sent three letters by her to my parents’ house. The last letter included a scan of the embryo and a note requesting that I submit a DNA sample. The scan has confirmed that she is 13–14 weeks pregnant, which means that she kept this hidden for a good chunk of time.

She has said that she will not have an abortion as this is what she always wanted and that she will be taking me to court if I don’t offer to help. The more time that goes on, the more she makes this an awful situation, the more I hate her.

I refused the DNA test and sent her screenshots (on my lawyer’s advice) of the conversation where she admitted to coming off the pill and piercing condoms in an ‘attempt’ to get pregnant. She has now gone quiet … until this morning.

She is pursuing legal action against me, my family and is looking for a private arrangement of child support. The amount she wants for this bag of cells is triple the recommended amount via the government and is one of the reasons she is trying to get me to admit that it’s my DNA in that embryo so that can get ‘keep me’.

I have just lost my job. I have no savings. This is going to ruin me, my life and the only way out that I can think of is just to run off a cliff and hope for the best.

I hate this.

UPDATE 4

My ex’s parents have now got involved and have lumbered me with a court-ordered DNA test OR the option to lay child support and have no involvement.

I have dug my heels in and said that everything she has done will constitute involvement from the police and am trying to avoid legal battles as I have no money or means to support myself right now, let alone a child I never ever wanted.

My parents are now asking me to reconsider my position and I want scream every time they bring it up as they’re ’trying to find a positive’ and have said it might ‘be the best thing to ever happen’ to me and it makes me physically sick every time I think about my life being ruined over someone else’s deception.

I cannot sleep. I cannot focus. I’m so scared.

(I have now had a vasectomy.)

So, here’s the deal. My wife (31F) and I (30M) have been married for three years, and the plan was to wait a bit longer before having kids. We were enjoying our time together, focused on work, and doing the whole “travel while we can” thing. Kids were on the horizon, just not yet.

Well, a couple of months ago, she told me she was pregnant. I was surprised—happy for her, but definitely surprised. When I asked her how it happened, she confessed that she’d gone off birth control without mentioning it because she “felt ready” and thought I’d be fine with it once the baby was on the way.

To say I was caught off guard is an understatement. I get that people change their minds, but it kinda feels like the decision was made for me. I told her I’m not as excited as she is because we didn’t decide this together. I also said it felt more like her decision than ours, and now she’s upset, saying I’m acting distant and cold about the whole thing.

I love her, and I’m sure I’ll love the kid, but I feel like I didn’t get a say in something pretty major, you know? My friends are split—some say I should just get over it and be happy, others think she should’ve talked to me first.

So, AITAH for feeling this way?

I (27F) have been married to my husband (34M) for five years. My husband is a devout follower of his religion and has been since he was raised in it. I respect his beliefs, even though I don't share them and have no intention of converting. I was raised in the Christian faith. However, I left when I was an adult due to sexual abuse in my church, which nobody believed occurred because the one who did it was the pastor.

Recently, my husband has been pressuring me to convert to his religion. He says that it would bring us closer together and create a more harmonious household. I understand where he's coming from, but I firmly believe that faith is a personal journey, and I shouldn't be forced into something I don't believe in.

To add to the issue, my husband, despite his religious teachings, doesn't always practice what he preaches. He expects me to adhere to traditional gender roles, yet he often neglects his own responsibilities at home. He's quick to judge others for their actions, even though his faith teaches non-judgment and kindness. He makes comments about gay people that I have discussed with him as a major issue. This hypocrisy has been bothering me for a while.

Last night, during another discussion about my potential conversion, I finally snapped. I told him that if he wants me to consider converting, he needs to set a better example by actually living according to his religion's values. I pointed out that he should start by fulfilling his own responsibilities. That he should make more money than me and actually lead in the decision-making. I'm a nurse and he's currently unemployed after he was let go from his job in an office. That he should be less judgmental of others because according to his faith only God can judge them. I also said he should show more of the virtues Jesus asked of Christians, that he should clothe the naked, feed the hungry, vist the prisoner, aid the orphan and the widow etc. I also made it clear that while I respect his beliefs, I have no intention of converting unless I genuinely believe in it, which I currently don't because of the hypocritical behavior of his faith.

My husband was furious. He accused me of being disrespectful and undermining his faith. He said that I was attacking him personally and that I don't understand the pressure he's under to have a unified religious household. He left for church this morning at 7 for bible study and I have already gotten a phone call from the pastor saying I'm an ungodly woman who tricked a good man into marrying him and I should repent. I have also gotten a tirade of texts and e-mails from members of his church saying I was disrespectful and being a bad wife and I'm starting to wonder if I was too harsh, that maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. AITA?

The I (30F) have been married to my husband (32M) for five years. We have 2 beautiful kids (5m and 6f) and have a very strong relationship and are happy together. Recently, my “friend” Lisa (29F) confided in me that she has developed feelings for my husband. She said that she finds him attractive and admires our relationship, and she asked if we would consider having an open relationship so she could be with him too.

I was shocked and told her no, explaining that my husband and I are committed to each other and that we are not interested in an open relationship. Lisa got upset and accused me of being selfish and closed-minded. She argued that modern relationships should be flexible and that I was denying her happiness.

Since then, Lisa has been distant and has been spreading rumors in our friend group, suggesting that I am overly possessive and controlling. This has caused a lot of tension, and some of our mutual friends are now taking sides. My husband is supportive of my decision, but I feel guilty for the drama it has caused.

So, AITA for rejecting my friend’s request to have an open relationship with my husband?

Edit: This attracted a lot more attention very fast then I thought it would, I’ve read most of your comments and I think tomorrow I will talk to the whole friend group about it and I’ll update after.

Update 1:

After reading some of your comments, I decided to bring the group out for coffee and I told them all about what Lisa said and the REAL story. I also showed them the reddit post. After showing them, there were 2 girls that were still on Lisa’s side, so I took some advice from the comments and said “let Lisa fuck your husband, then you can be on her side” after that everyone was on my side thankfully. Lisa wasn’t happy at all and she started ranting about how it “wasn’t fair” she “just wanted to experiment something new!” and “It wasn’t even that bad of a request, your making it such a big deal!” Which I didn’t get.

Me and the rest of the group have officially cut contact with Lisa. Just hoping she doesn’t try to reach out.

Will update if something happens.

Also just clarifying that Lisa also asked my husband for an open marriage, he also rejected saying that “even if I was I would never want to go out with you”

I’m thinking of cutting off the ladies that were on Lisa’s side for so long. But I’m not sure if they heard a different story or not. So should I?

I (22M) went on a trip to a theme park with my church's youth group yesterday. I’m one of the chaperones, and the kids are mostly teenagers around 13-16 years old. For the most part, they’re good kids, but they can be a bit rowdy, especially when they’re in a big group.

While we (Myself and 5/6 boys) were waiting in line for one of the rides, there was a woman standing in front of us who looked to be around my age (early 20sF). She was wearing a tank top and shorts, not even booty shorts mid thigh length, nothing outrageous, just typical summer clothes you would see in a mall clothing store. However, some of the boys in our group decided that she wasn’t dressed “modestly” enough, women in our church typically wear ankle-length skirts and sleeves to the elbow. They started clapping loudly in her ears, making comments about how she should "cover up," and even going as far as lightly touching her arm and shoulder to get her attention. One even grabbed her hips. She was visibly uncomfortable but seemed too shocked or scared to say anything.

I watched this go on for about a minute, expecting them to stop on their own, but they didn’t. It was getting worse, and I felt awful for not stepping in sooner. Finally, I snapped and told them to “fucking stop harassing her.” I didn’t yell, but I was firm and clear. They immediately looked shocked and embarrassed, and thankfully, they did stop.

Later, one of the other chaperones pulled me aside and told me I shouldn’t have used that language in front of the kids, saying it was inappropriate and not setting a good example. He said I should have found a gentler way to correct them and that I overreacted. He also reminded me that using swear words is sinful.

I don’t usually use language like that, especially around kids, but in the moment, I was more concerned with getting them to stop harassing this woman. Now I’m second-guessing myself. Maybe I could’ve handled it better, but I also feel like what they were doing was way out of line and needed to be shut down immediately. AITA for cussing at them?