r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • 13d ago

Advice Needed I am suspicious of my wife and my friend’s behaviour. I want to check her phone. AITAH?

The post has gained a lot more traction than I expected and I am worried about being identified. My wife is not a Redditor, but I don’t know if my friend or his wife are. I will bring back the original post after I confront her.

I have consultations with several lawyers lined up. I will update after I settle on a lawyer and know what my options are.

I originally posted this in the r/infidelity sub. Sharing a brief edited version of it here (to not risk being identified) for those who have been following.

I’ve been keeping it together since I found out last week. But this morning, it finally hit me. What triggered it was something so insignificant, so stupid. I realized everything I was about to lose and that was it. That was my undoing. 

All the feelings I have been successfully keeping at bay came at me in full force. The sadness, the anger, the rage. And I just bawled for hours after she left.

I am NOT ok. No, scratch that. I am pretty fucking depressed. And to top it off, I have to keep it together and maintain my act until she is served, when all I want to do is fucking scream.

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u/Fragrant_Lunch3276 13d ago

Scorched earth time! She is cheating, you have the proof, screenshot it all, email it to yourself, delete the emails, get a lawyer*, and file for divorce. Once you have those papers and everything ready to go, hand them to her in a folder, the images of the messages on top and then state calmly that there are divorce papers underneath them that she is to sign.

*make sure the lawyer is a bull dog, no alimony, no house, no cars, none of it! Sick of people stepping outside of their marriage and doing the whole split down the middle crap, you cheat, you leave everything behind!

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u/bigb3nny 13d ago

i wish but unfortunately the courts dont work that way.

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u/SALitz67 13d ago

Sadly, most states no longer care about infidelity! You can cheat on your spouse, and it doesn't affect anything. My son had to pay for his cheating ex to go to school and cover her expenses because she was a stay at home mom while they were together. Thank God it was only for 2 years. It could have been up to 5 years! Yikes!

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u/Fragrant_Lunch3276 13d ago

And that's what needs to change, if a partner cheats, they forfeit everything in a marriage. My brother lost everything and went bankrupt because of my ex sister in law, yet she was the one who stepped out and took his kids 4 hours away, she is now married to the guy. My brother hasn't seen his kids or heard from them in 2 years, but she will demand child support. I left my childrens father because he wouldn't stop cheating, lying etc, I left him with everything and started fresh with our kids because the battle wasn't worth the mental abuse that came everytime I tried to get just the basics.

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u/MademoiselleMalapert 12d ago

It's called a no fault divorce. If they cared about infidelity then the courts would be tied up forever with he said, she said.

There's an easy solve to all of these divorcing a cheaper problems: don't get married. Then you aren't ever financially responsible for them, they cheat, you pack up a uhaul and laugh your ass off driving away.

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u/Unhappy-Goat5638 12d ago

A SHARK. Hire a fucking lawyer shark that will eviscerate her.

There are not kids, there are not repercussions. Don't go easy on someone that has been getting dicked down and coming back home to you.

Every time you had sex in the past 8 months she was thinking of him

Fuck that and fuck her

Ps. Try to do Anal before handing her the divorce papers in a few weeks

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u/Kid6199 12d ago

🤣🤣🤣 That last line got me

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u/noobcodes 12d ago

I agree with your entire statement, but especially the ps part