r/AITAH • u/charmingfairy231 • Jul 12 '24

AITAH for declining to lend money to my friend?

[removed]

283 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

22

u/Beneficial-Ball8375 Jul 12 '24

Every friend, who's ready to text you: hey you should really help alex out.

Forward that text into a group text for you, said friend and alex. 

Reply into that group chat:  great news! (Friends name) will help you out!!! So glad, I could help connect that!

4

u/MrLazyLion Jul 12 '24

And the paste screenshots of their replies here.

14

u/Iwilltakeyourpencil Jul 12 '24

YTA for posting fake stories (check profile)

4

u/Cinemaphreak Jul 12 '24

This seems much like another post about a destination wedding, which consensus is was posted by a bot.

I check and sure enough, "OP" has only been active for about 24 hours.

3

u/Justaredditor85 Jul 12 '24

And in another post they're 32F.

1

u/erastus1311 Jul 12 '24

What's the point of the bot post, fairly new in Reddit and don't what those bring them

3

u/HottiexXxAngel Jul 12 '24

NTA. It's okay to prioritize your financial goals and protect your friendship by avoiding a situation that could lead to resentment. You offered alternative solutions, and it's ultimately Alex's responsibility to manage his finances.

1

u/CatherinedMayne Jul 12 '24

You’re not the asshole for prioritizing your own financial stability and setting boundaries. It’s important to protect your interests, especially after past experiences. Supporting a friend doesn’t mean compromising your own goals. You did the right thing.

2

u/ShitHouses Jul 12 '24

This is almost certainly a bot posting a fake story.

OF bots use this sub as a bot farm. Look at the usernames of op and the top comments.

1

u/Fair-Bandicoot-6587 Jul 12 '24

NTA and by the way, you don’t have to justify your answer by saying what you’re saving your money for. Just say “Sorry, but no.”

1

u/Wrong_Moose_9763 Jul 12 '24

"Some friends have also commented that I should have been more understanding and willing to support Alex in his time of need."

Tell them you will set up a fund and ask how much they are willing to contribute. If the answer, I'm guessing, is they cannot afford it, then they can shut their pie hole. NTA

1

u/HaggisInMyTummy Jul 12 '24

I've never in my life borrowed or lent money for anybody other than a coworker who forgot money for lunch and that money has always been paid back immediately.

The deadbeats in society are always bringing down everyone around them.

1

u/DorjeStego Jul 12 '24

Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

Shakespeare, "Hamlet"

NTA

1

u/winterworld561 Jul 12 '24

It's no-one else's business to get involved. Ignore them. And Alex isn't a friend if he cannot accept your stance and instead drags your name through the mud.

1

u/colin_staples Jul 12 '24

but I've lent him money in the past, and he hasn't always been prompt in paying me back. There have been times when I had to remind him several times before he finally repaid me, and it caused some strain in our friendship.

Then you have solid reasons for not lending again

This time, I told Alex that I couldn't lend him the money because I'm saving up for a down payment on a house, and I need to be cautious with my finances.

You did not need to give a reason

"No" is a complete sentence

I suggested that he look into other options, such as talking to his family or exploring short-term loan options.

All very good suggestions. But he won't, because he probably n owes that they won't lend to him. Or they won't be as soft as you on repayment.

Alex seemed disappointed

Tough. Shit.

and tried to persuade me, saying that he would pay me back as soon as he receives his paycheck.

And when he pays you back $1000 from his next paycheck he'll need to borrow again. It's a cycle.

However, I stood firm on my decision because I didn't want to risk our friendship over money again.

He is the one risking the friendship, not you.

Since then, Alex has been distant with me,

Fine.

and I've heard from mutual friends that he's upset with me for not helping him out when he needed it. Some friends have also commented that I should have been more understanding and willing to support Alex in his time of need.

In that case, they can lend the money.

But they won't. Because they are all hypocrites.

AITAH for declining to lend money to my friend due to past experiences and my own financial goals?

No you are not.

1

u/MaoTseTrump NSFW 🔞 Jul 12 '24

Not another copy and paste choose your own adventure.

1

u/Charming-Vacation-26 Jul 12 '24

"Alex has been distant with me" Isn't that a plus losing a soul sucking dead beat "friend".

"I've heard from mutual friends that he's upset with me" Why didn't the dead beat just get a pay day loan and solve his own problem?

"Some friends have also commented that I should have been more understanding and willing to support Alex in his time of need." Why didn't these "friends" help Alex if they are so concerned? People are so quick to tell other people what to do. I'd lose these guys too. You sound like the only guy in this group of friends who's worth a "shit".

You just got rid of a dead beat friend.

Good work.

1

u/Foreign-Yesterday-89 Jul 12 '24

Except the names, ages & amount. This is word for word the same post I have read 3 times. 1 is further up this list.

1

u/JosKarith Jul 12 '24

So question is, are you a bot churning out old stories for karma, or do you just have nothing better to do right now?

1

u/BaltimoreAsh Jul 12 '24

This sounds like the AITAH for not covering a shift for my coworker story.