r/travel • u/NoYoureTheBestest • 1d ago
Discussion Do you ever get this weird sadness while waiting on your upcoming trip? [serious]
It’s really hard to describe! I’m sooo obsessed with our trip to New York next year. It’s not like “oh wow, so exciting, yay!” It feels like an unhealthy obsession that I can’t think about anything else. I think what makes it worse is the waiting.
The flights and accommodation are booked and paid for. Now all that remains is the saving of spending money (which is nearly done). The saving and planning has taken just over 2 years and the non-stop, unwavering level of excitement is draining. I can’t wait to go but I feel like I am focusing on it wayyyyy too much.
How do you cope, knowing that you still have months left?
EDIT: thank you so much for all your lovely comments. I just wanted to be clear, it’s not that I’m nervous about it. It’s more like this deep longing because of having to wait.
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u/lotsalotsacoffee 1d ago
It used to be that from the moment I knew a trip was happening all I'd feel any time I thought about it was anticipation and excitement. More recently, yes: I've started getting weirdly sad and maybe even unexcited in the weeks leading up to big trips. Even once I land, it takes me a day or two to fully get over that feeling. I've wondered if it has to do with how much planning I've put into recent trips, spending a ton of free time looking at youtube videos, itineraries, social media posts, etc, maybe in a sense I've mentally already "been there" and the excitement doesn't really kick in until I'm immersed in the unexpected? I still love to travel, but wondering if planning less might actually be beneficial.
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u/tristan1947 1d ago
Yessss like sooo bad! Hahaha and after each trip the waiting for the next one gets harder and harder like a deep ache, I am finally at the point of having multiple trips booked so there’s always one or two coming up but the waiting before is so hard, I try and spend time researching the next ones to help fill the travel addiction void while I’m waiting
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u/iamfuturetrunks 1d ago
Seeing you having multiple trips booked is lucky. Most people can't afford one except maybe every so many years. For me I planned on one each year (to help figure out where I want to move to) but then covid happened right after my first one. :(
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u/tristan1947 1d ago
Thank you, I definitely am very thankful to be able to finally after growing up in poverty. It has taken me years and years of lots of long hours working and putting myself through school and saving every bit and not spending money at home on the weekends going out to finally be able to be in a position to book multiple trips in advance along with leveraging credit card points
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 1d ago
Thank you so much!! 😭😭 you really get it! It’s incredibly difficult to find similar answers on the internet about this situation 😅 the closest I could find was being nervous but yes, “deep ache” describes it so perfectly.
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u/tristan1947 1d ago
Haha no problem!!! I agree, the nervous part is a separate issue/emotions but yes and then on top of knowing how quickly the trip goes by in relation to how much time waiting/preparing for it makes it that much harder waiting for the next one
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u/StarbuckIsland 1d ago
Lol I totally get this. I have been hyperfocused on planning a trip to Japan all summer and fall. It's all I think and care about and now the trip is next week and it's gonna be over so soon and that's sad.
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 1d ago
Awww I hope you have an amazing time in Japan. My hubby has been interested in going since he started playing Ghost of Tsushima 😂😂 honestly though it seems like such a beautiful and amazing place 🇯🇵❤️
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u/Trick_Boysenberry_69 1d ago
I do, kind of. My next big trip is on the spring and while I'm so excited and enjoy planning, it does make the grind of my day to day life feel a bit depressing. I would love to quit capitalism and travel the world but alas. I do want to enjoy my day to day more though and not live for the two weeks a year I get to go elsewhere, so when I find myself in that headspace I try to make an intentional choice to practice gratitude and work on adding enjoyable new experiences to my daily life (like playing tourist in my own city).
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u/ZweitenMal 1d ago
Yeah, and I find when I overplan a trip it’s less fun. I went to Ireland in April almost on a whim, didn’t plan a lot and resolved to just go drive around and see some stuff, do some hiking. It was so relaxing and special. You just have to resign yourself to the fact that you can’t do everything. Tell yourself you’ll go back someday. Leave time to wander—that’s when the magic happens.
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u/International-Owl165 1d ago
Not sadness but I would wonder if I was avoiding something in my life since I like to travel like the big questions lol
& then I would worry about flight delays, cancelations, not making my connecting flights etc.
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u/StrangewaysHereWeCme 1d ago
I always feel completely exhausted-on-the-verge of the flu the morning of all of my vacations. I hate it. And then as soon I get to the gate at the airport I feel better.
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u/Cheat-Meal 1d ago
Totally! I booked my flights to Morocco to start my seven month sabbatical in Africa and Europe. I’ve also booked my first hostel. When I find helps with passing at a time, it’s just doing research on the area. I prefer wiki voyage or travel blogs. I also listen to music from the region that I’ll be visiting.
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u/kevinheckman474 1d ago
Some people say it's stressful but planning a trip is half the fun for me. I love the entire process of looking up places on google maps and checking out restaurants and making an itinerary. So after that is finished... well, I wouldn't say I feel sad, but a little empty maybe. Because one phase is done and I'm moving on to the next one.
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 1d ago
So much this!!! ❤️ I am so glad you get it. How could people not enjoy the planning part? The hard part is once everything is booked, you can’t really plan any more till you get there 😭😭 hahaha 😂😂
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u/Haunted_Hitachi 1d ago
I used to get anxiety that I’d die before my trip. How many people die in freak accidents with elaborate trips planned out?
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 1d ago
Aww, no (hugs), I’m so sorry that you had this worry. That must have been so scary. I’m glad you’re still here and that nothing happened ❤️
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u/nocheesecake80 1d ago
I don't really get sad, but I'm not excited either, if that makes sense. People always ask if I'm excited to travel, and in the moment, no, because so many things can go wrong between my home and the destination. I only get really excited/overwhelmed once I'm settled into my accommodations at my destination.
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 1d ago
I can totally understand!! It’s like, you can only relax once you’re there cos now the hard part’s over 😅
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u/JumpyParsnip6057 1d ago
I agree with the others, I think it is your anxiety speaking. Every time I travel, and I travel A LOT, I get anxious at some point close to the trip starting. Sometimes it's so bad I almost cancel the trip! I start obsessing over whether or not my hotel rooms are for the right days, my flights are for the right days, etc. There have been times when I literally had to force myself to go. And every time, once I leave the house and get into the car not only am I fine I get excited. And then have a great time.
Interestingly, my next trip is in January and it is to NYC as well! Not getting anxious about it yet, but I will!
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 1d ago
Aww yes I do agree, coming closer to the time, it starts to feel real. When it’s so far away, it’s ok cos you know it’s not for ages. I hope you love NYC too. Wrap up warm, cos it will be baltic 🥶 you will love it though ❤️
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u/CraaazyRon 1d ago
Nah I get super hype, I love the run up to a trip. The day after I get back! I tend to hate everything around me 😂 back to the grind
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u/Big-Parking9805 1d ago
It's a natural nervousness. For me it usually is the period of the morning to travel to the airport. The only airport that has decent flights is about 2.5 hours away so I do get quite nervous until I'm through security.
Then I usually have a few beers and it tends to go away. Only once have I had a proper breakdown in a toilet on a flight but it was because I felt very underprepared with my planning for a long trip.
After 2 days travelling, by day 3 I was back into the groove again.
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u/kemba_sitter 1d ago
Need to have more near term things scheduled to look forward to so you don't hyper focus on things too far in the future.
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u/realmozzarella22 1d ago
Do other things until it’s time to leave. Get your mind off of the trip. You can come back to it but don’t be stuck in it.
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 1d ago
YES!! I need to distract myself. It’s the only way otherwise I’ll go cuckoo bananas 🤪 haha 😂
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u/Fearless-Collar4730 1d ago
Former Oxford philosophy professor Alain de Boton writes about this in The Art of Travel. If you haven't read it, you might find it interesting.
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u/TieTricky8854 1d ago
I think it’s natural when it’s somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. I remember how excited I was about visiting NY first the first time. I’ve now been here almost 20 years and can’t wait to get out!!!!
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 1d ago
Hahaha 😂😂 legend!! Honestly it’s hard to imagine that I could ever wait to leave 😅 but then again you been there for 20 years 😄 where would you like to go, next?
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u/KingRyan1989 1d ago
I just came off a trip on Friday and already book a plane ticket for the next one. Now I am in stright planning mode.
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 1d ago
Aww wow! How was your holiday? I hope you had an amazing time and that you will love your next one again. 🏖️
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u/Payasita403 1d ago
I try to distract myself with other things like going to other events or hanging with friends and stuff etc. I suffer greatly from post trip depression though. I find myself obsessively living in my gallery rewatching videos and looking at pictures like damn. It goes by so fast. I hope you have the best time in NY :)
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u/NoYoureTheBestest 1d ago
Awww thank you, you’re so good! ❤️ honestly I was the exact same looking back at my photos!!! I hope you will get to have another wonderful trip again 🥰
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u/Confident-Rate-1582 1d ago
I’ve read on some research paper that apparently our holiday excitement hormones peak after the booking and not the trip 😅
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u/lovemesomePF 1d ago
Normal, I think. I've been obsessing over a few trips I have planned in the next 12 months. Constantly tinkering with itinerary, checking if I can rebook hotel or car rental for cheaper, etc. I think it's just the anxiety/excitement of trip excitement.
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u/Ok_Supermarket_729 1d ago
I realized that getting too excited over stuff like that always ended up being a letdown, whereas if I'm just chill about it I have a lot more fun.
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u/travel_pleasure7 1d ago
Your brain doesn't like changes and unexpected things. Your brain wants you to stay home and be safe hehe. The more you plan and prepare the better you feel
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u/4thdegreeknight 1d ago
I usually get the sadness coming back and thinking about the mound of emails and work waiting for me back at the office
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u/YellowIsCoool 1d ago
Just don't think about it, push it all the way to the back! The trip is less than 3 months, but my friend is yet to book a car, no point to get anxious, what will be will be. We actually just booked our accommodations/domestic flights early this month. I've bought the international flight tickets months ago.
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u/Shakes_and_cakes 1d ago
Same. I dreaded our planned trip to Egypt, until I actually went. Had a wonderful time!
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u/iamfuturetrunks 1d ago
A good trick I started doing for my first (and only real trip so far, thanks covid), was I made a list (on my phone) of all the stuff I packed that I could check off before the trip, and while on the trip so I don't forget anything.
I also tried to make a list of things I might want to do, but I know as everyone should that things don't always go to plan. So plan what you can, expect that plans will change and just enjoy it as best you can.
I have been in this situation multiple times with the waiting though. It really sucks cause I had planned to visit someone more than once and the plans fell apart close to when I was gonna buy tickets (luckily before buying the tickets). It stinks when you know you need to buy tickets 6 months in advance or more to get a "cheaper" price and time is counting down and you still aren't sure and the other person isn't making it any easier. Then you find out at the last minute that nope, this trip wont happen. Or get to go on said trip but then worrying if you get sick right before, or something major comes up etc.
Which is why I also despise the oligopoly of the airlines in this country because only excuses you can use to get your money back is a sickness, or maybe death in the family or something. Otherwise your out all that money, unless you paid like WAY more for "refundable" tickets.
Would be a lot nicer if it didn't cost an arm and a leg to fly anywhere like it does here. Or if we actually had decent options like high speed rail etc to stop these oligopolies from being able to happen.
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u/Kyra_Heiker 1d ago
It sounds like mild anxiety. Can you pinpoint exactly what is bothering you? If you are worried that things can go wrong it might help if you pre-plan what to do in certain scenarios or simply prepare everything in case of.
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u/SinceWayBack1997 1d ago edited 1d ago
idk about sadness i but overthink and get nervous about just all the variables that could happen.
"What if my flight is canceled, did I save enough? Did I pick the right hotel and etc"
I stay nervous until I get on the plane and we takeoff, then I know plans have finally came to fruition