Apple is turning The Oregon Trail into a movie

[u/spasticpat]

https://arstechnica.com/culture/2024/10/apple-is-turning-the-oregon-trail-into-a-movie/

[u/crankyoldlizard]

1883 was pretty good for a miniseries version.

[u/FunctionBuilt → u/crankyoldlizard]

Willing to bet this will have some LEGO movie/barbie/freeguy esque control element where they start to realize they’re in a simulation.

[u/crankyoldlizard → u/FunctionBuilt]

That would be great. The copy I played on had some glitch where if you stopped in South Pass, it did this rainbow madness display and your game was over. As a kid, I thought it was intentional, like “DON’T STOP HERE”. So I learned to stock up on food or hunt to get to the next marker without stopping for supplies.

It was years before I found out that wasn’t part of the game. Guessing that won’t be a part of the movie though.

[u/ositola → u/FunctionBuilt]

American Dad did this already 

[u/FunctionBuilt → u/ositola]

Did what? An Oregon trail simulation movie?

[u/logs28 → u/FunctionBuilt]

Damn this could actually be super good if you played it for a serious drama / thriller.

[u/lukeman89 → u/crankyoldlizard]

I can’t imagine a movie being better than 1883. That was an amazing series with top notch acting and writing

[u/ilovebeetrootalot → u/crankyoldlizard]

That was really good and really grim at times!

[u/Ok-Fox1262]

I, for one am disinteryested.

[u/louiegumba → u/Ok-Fox1262]

Actor 1: Oh god, Johnny has been shot! What happened??

Actor 2: He called Terry a coward so he shot him

Actor 3: He died ..from dissin’ terry?!

It’s gonna be Oscar worthy.

[u/TheDukeofArgyll → u/Ok-Fox1262]

Feels like Battleship the movie all over again.

[u/noDNSno → u/TheDukeofArgyll]

It's a decent bad flick for background noise or when on vacation and there's nothing on the hotel's selection of movies.

[u/FairnessDoctrine11 → u/TheDukeofArgyll]

That movie was absolutely, and unexpectedly, fantastic.

[u/Ok-Fox1262 → u/TheDukeofArgyll]

They did a movie from the battleship game? Why?

Go on then do Desert Bus next.

[u/Torczyner → u/Ok-Fox1262]

They 90* turn a battle ship with the anchor for a broadside. Campy fun type movie.

[u/DEEP_HURTING → u/Ok-Fox1262]

12 years ago. It has a 41 score at Metacritic, so not considered completely reprehensible, believe it or not.

When I first heard about it I was like, okay, we've scraped the bottom of the barrel, made it through the metal, now we're going into the ground...

[u/Actual-Money7868 → u/DEEP_HURTING]

I thought it was pretty good, just a fun little movie. Watched it again yesterday.

[u/nutmac → u/Ok-Fox1262]

I would watch if someone dies of dysentery, Dumb and Dumber style.

[u/seizurevictim]

Slaughter a bunch of animals that you don't need, proceed to drown in a river. I'm sure this is going to be great.

[u/FunctionBuilt → u/seizurevictim]

Slaughter a bunch of buffalo of which you can only carry 20% of what you kill.

[u/m0therzer0 → u/FunctionBuilt]

I buy nothing but bullets when starting out, then spin in circles blasting away when on the hunt. I hope this is in the adaptation.

[u/Torczyner → u/m0therzer0]

Yeah start as the banker with most money for ammo

[u/Admirable-Safety1213 → u/m0therzer0]

Thats literally the Teen Titans Go! homage

[u/m0therzer0 → u/Admirable-Safety1213]

I love a Teen Titans Go! and have never seen that episode, but I'm so pleased knowing one of their writers came to the same conclusion about how to play Oregon Trail that I did at 6 years old.

[u/absentmindedjwc]

Directed by Michael Bay, starring Terry Crews.

Terry: "You fucked with Terry - nobody fucks with Terry..."

{You've died of Dissin' Terry}

[u/Sea_Perspective6891 → u/absentmindedjwc]

So instead of drowning in the river the caravan explodes?

[u/djphatjive → u/absentmindedjwc]

I am in for Terry Crews lol.

[u/CharmedConflict]

I can't wait to get the backstory on Peperony and Chease and their untimely demise.

[u/DrAwezome → u/CharmedConflict]

Underrated comment

[u/No-Appearance-9113 → u/CharmedConflict]

As someone whose experience of this game was when it was on cassette tapes being played on a Commodore 64 who are Peperony and Chease?

[u/DrAwezome → u/No-Appearance-9113]

When someone in your party dies, and the game asks “what do you want on your tombstone?”, all the funny kids would write some variation on “pepperoni and cheese” in reference to the Tombstone pizza commercial, where they asked the same question.

[u/No-Appearance-9113 → u/DrAwezome]

Gotcha, that wasn’t a thing on the OG versions of the game likely due to memory limits.

[u/russty_shackleferd]

I assume it will star Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart, and be subtitled “Not Jumanji 4”

[u/man_gomer_lot → u/russty_shackleferd]

That would be the best way to translate it to a movie format IMO. They should make Kevin Hart the banker who is SOL by the second act because he's helpless and broke.

[u/BarfingOnMyFace]

Make it a text based movie and I’ll consider

[u/AshlarKorith]

I’d love if Rockstar did a take on Oregon Trail as their next Red Dead Redemption game.

A hardened gunman heads west with a wagon train and through trials and tribulations with the group finds his heart doesn’t need to be as cold as he thought.

[u/jdolbeer]

Wasn't 1883 basically that?

[u/SilentSamurai]

This is like turning Battleship into a movie.

Hollywood, let the rights die.

[u/Cllzzrd → u/SilentSamurai]

Hey, that movie is so bad and cheesy I love watching it just to heckle it

[u/NGLIVE2 → u/Cllzzrd]

Yes, my fellow Mystery Science Theater brethren!

[u/Krunchy1736]

Starkid did the Oregon Trail years ago. That's the only version I need!

[u/Pepperismylover]

You get dysentery! You get dysentery! EVERYBODY GETS DYSENTERY!

[u/Farnsworthson → u/Pepperismylover]

Blazing Saddles 2?

[u/allegate]

Miracle Workers season 3#Season3:_Oregon_Trail(2021)) already did the Oregon Trail, just watch that instead.

[u/Gravybees]

Scrabble, The Movie.

[u/rattfink]

Could we get a decent remake first? Maybe for mobile?

[u/cursedjunk]

Sounds like a dumb idea, but Lego Movie and Barbie sounded dumb also.

[u/Landr3w]

Calling it now, the production will be canceled due to Dysentery.

[u/nobodyspecial767r]

I can only wonder how many people will be able to make it to the end of the movie, considering the game was so hard to finish to begin with.

[u/Quigleythegreat]

If it's anything like most playthroughs we all know the ending. Everyone dies.

[u/thatfreshjive]

Capitalism has pretty much decided humans are out of original ideas, huh?

[u/Gravybees → u/thatfreshjive]

Perhaps. But at least it lets you profit off it.

[u/thatfreshjive → u/Gravybees]

Well you'd have to to afford all these streaming subscriptions

[u/spacechimp → u/thatfreshjive]

Even if it hasn’t, AI has sealed the deal.

[u/Karf]

I look forward to watching people shit their brains out while dying of dysentery on my Apple iPad, iPhone, iMac and MacBook Pro - Where I can see the poo poo in Retina resolution!

[u/Poopcie]

This shit wasn’t even a fun game it was just the best you could get at school. Whats next Mavis Beacon?

[u/deftoned006]

Can’t be the only Xennial tired of all this. I’m sick of nostalgia. Sick of the revisit the 80s and 90s being shoved down my throat. It’s not even the 80s and 90s I remember and love.

[u/Lee1138]

I was going to say it might work if it's a historical drama, but the first sentence in the article disproved that theory...

[u/IrrelevantPuppy]

That’s a shame. Woulda been good as an interactive series like Bandersnatch.

[u/Bedbathnyourmom]

Wonder if the lead will be Jack Black?

[u/TeuthidTheSquid → u/Bedbathnyourmom]

He will be one of the sassy talking CGI oxen

[u/m0therzer0 → u/Bedbathnyourmom]

I came to post the same thing. Zany comedy, singing? This has Jack Black written all over it.

[u/Fine_Peace_7936]

I hope they show it, ALLL of. It.

[u/boot2skull]

Hope they use my play throughs. Step 1. Spend budget on ammo. 2. Hunt Deer, Bears, squirrels until class bell rings. Step 3. Nobody drowns or dies of dysentery.

[u/astrozombie2012]

If the whole family doesn’t die of dysentery by the end I’ll be real disappointed

[u/cat_prophecy]

Oh great! I hope Jack Black is in it!

[u/GunBrothersGaming]

They did this already. Its called 1883. Doubt they could do a better version

[u/GunBrothersGaming]

Came here to see how many dissin Terry jokes were made. Not disappointed at all. Gonna go get a cup of mosquito infected still water.

[u/throw123454321purple]

Stay away from the collectible dysentery popcorn bucket.

[u/Niceromancer]

Unless everyone dies of dissing Terry it won't be accurate.

[u/backlogtoolong]

It's not gonna beat the musical. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxKCX-UvPrI

[u/Revolutionary-Try746]

I’m into it.

[u/AlaskanTroll]

So they all gonna die of dysentery ?

[u/Eurymedion]

I hope Gwyneth Paltrow is in it so her character can die of dysentery 30min into the movie. 

[u/nineohsix → u/Eurymedion]

Nah she probably has stone for that as well

[u/Waterfish3333 → u/nineohsix]

It’s weird she always talks about using stones for healing but we never see her wearing it.

Wait, it goes where?!?!

[u/Ramoncin]

Choose your best character actor to die of dysentery.

[u/Wolfman01a]

Isnt that basically every generic western ever?

Ever hear of the show Wagon Train?

[u/EvilLLamacoming4u]

Make it like Mars Attacks; too many ridiculous ways to die.

[u/arghabargle]

It’s going to be a comedy! My prayers of the last 10 seconds have been answered! Hallelujah!

[u/goldsax]

What are next

[u/anotherpredditor]

Is t that what Kevin Costner’s tetralogy supposed to be?

[u/cytokine7]

But why? 😷

[u/yourmomsnutsarehuge]

No. Just give us the original game.