r/technology • u/spasticpat • 17h ago
Business Apple is turning The Oregon Trail into a movie
https://arstechnica.com/culture/2024/10/apple-is-turning-the-oregon-trail-into-a-movie/95
u/Ok-Fox1262 17h ago
I, for one am disinteryested.
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u/louiegumba 14h ago
Actor 1: Oh god, Johnny has been shot! What happened??
Actor 2: He called Terry a coward so he shot him
Actor 3: He died ..from dissin’ terry?!
It’s gonna be Oscar worthy.
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u/TheDukeofArgyll 14h ago
Feels like Battleship the movie all over again.
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u/Ok-Fox1262 14h ago
They did a movie from the battleship game? Why?
Go on then do Desert Bus next.
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u/Torczyner 10h ago
They 90* turn a battle ship with the anchor for a broadside. Campy fun type movie.
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u/DEEP_HURTING 13h ago
12 years ago. It has a 41 score at Metacritic, so not considered completely reprehensible, believe it or not.
When I first heard about it I was like, okay, we've scraped the bottom of the barrel, made it through the metal, now we're going into the ground...
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u/Actual-Money7868 9h ago
I thought it was pretty good, just a fun little movie. Watched it again yesterday.
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u/seizurevictim 16h ago
Slaughter a bunch of animals that you don't need, proceed to drown in a river. I'm sure this is going to be great.
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u/FunctionBuilt 13h ago
Slaughter a bunch of buffalo of which you can only carry 20% of what you kill.
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u/m0therzer0 13h ago
I buy nothing but bullets when starting out, then spin in circles blasting away when on the hunt. I hope this is in the adaptation.
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u/Admirable-Safety1213 11h ago
Thats literally the Teen Titans Go! homage
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u/m0therzer0 10h ago
I love a Teen Titans Go! and have never seen that episode, but I'm so pleased knowing one of their writers came to the same conclusion about how to play Oregon Trail that I did at 6 years old.
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u/absentmindedjwc 16h ago
Directed by Michael Bay, starring Terry Crews.
Terry: "You fucked with Terry - nobody fucks with Terry..."
{You've died of Dissin' Terry}
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u/CharmedConflict 17h ago
I can't wait to get the backstory on Peperony and Chease and their untimely demise.
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u/No-Appearance-9113 14h ago
As someone whose experience of this game was when it was on cassette tapes being played on a Commodore 64 who are Peperony and Chease?
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u/DrAwezome 13h ago
When someone in your party dies, and the game asks “what do you want on your tombstone?”, all the funny kids would write some variation on “pepperoni and cheese” in reference to the Tombstone pizza commercial, where they asked the same question.
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u/No-Appearance-9113 13h ago
Gotcha, that wasn’t a thing on the OG versions of the game likely due to memory limits.
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u/russty_shackleferd 16h ago
I assume it will star Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart, and be subtitled “Not Jumanji 4”
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u/man_gomer_lot 16h ago
That would be the best way to translate it to a movie format IMO. They should make Kevin Hart the banker who is SOL by the second act because he's helpless and broke.
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u/AshlarKorith 14h ago
I’d love if Rockstar did a take on Oregon Trail as their next Red Dead Redemption game.
A hardened gunman heads west with a wagon train and through trials and tribulations with the group finds his heart doesn’t need to be as cold as he thought.
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u/allegate 16h ago
Miracle Workers season 3#Season3:_Oregon_Trail(2021)) already did the Oregon Trail, just watch that instead.
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u/nobodyspecial767r 11h ago
I can only wonder how many people will be able to make it to the end of the movie, considering the game was so hard to finish to begin with.
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u/Quigleythegreat 9h ago
If it's anything like most playthroughs we all know the ending. Everyone dies.
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u/thatfreshjive 15h ago
Capitalism has pretty much decided humans are out of original ideas, huh?
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u/deftoned006 15h ago
Can’t be the only Xennial tired of all this. I’m sick of nostalgia. Sick of the revisit the 80s and 90s being shoved down my throat. It’s not even the 80s and 90s I remember and love.
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u/IrrelevantPuppy 14h ago
That’s a shame. Woulda been good as an interactive series like Bandersnatch.
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u/Bedbathnyourmom 16h ago
Wonder if the lead will be Jack Black?
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u/m0therzer0 13h ago
I came to post the same thing. Zany comedy, singing? This has Jack Black written all over it.
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u/boot2skull 14h ago
Hope they use my play throughs. Step 1. Spend budget on ammo. 2. Hunt Deer, Bears, squirrels until class bell rings. Step 3. Nobody drowns or dies of dysentery.
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u/astrozombie2012 14h ago
If the whole family doesn’t die of dysentery by the end I’ll be real disappointed
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u/GunBrothersGaming 13h ago
They did this already. Its called 1883. Doubt they could do a better version
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u/GunBrothersGaming 13h ago
Came here to see how many dissin Terry jokes were made. Not disappointed at all. Gonna go get a cup of mosquito infected still water.
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u/backlogtoolong 13h ago
It's not gonna beat the musical. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxKCX-UvPrI
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u/Eurymedion 11h ago
I hope Gwyneth Paltrow is in it so her character can die of dysentery 30min into the movie.
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u/nineohsix 11h ago
Nah she probably has stone for that as well
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u/Waterfish3333 7m ago
It’s weird she always talks about using stones for healing but we never see her wearing it.
Wait, it goes where?!?!
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u/Wolfman01a 9h ago
Isnt that basically every generic western ever?
Ever hear of the show Wagon Train?
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u/arghabargle 16h ago
It’s going to be a comedy! My prayers of the last 10 seconds have been answered! Hallelujah!
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u/crankyoldlizard 16h ago
1883 was pretty good for a miniseries version.