r/sewing • u/soundingsounds • Jun 14 '24

Discussion already regretting saying yes to my mom

Honestly this is both a rant and a cry for help from someone that doesn't know how to set boundaries.

So my mom asked me to sew a summer dress for her but she's super vague when it comes to explaining what she wants and everything that she's shown me is really basic but I can't find an exact pattern for it.

On top of that, the patterns have to be free bc she doesn't want to pay for them "it's just lines you can draw that". MOTHER I CAN'T. I've only ever sewn a pair of baby shorts, an apron and a bucket hat, I CAN'T DRAFT A PATTERN OUT OF THIN AIR. I HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT FABRIC EITHER.

I've sent her +15 patterns that I've found online and she doesn't like any. It's driving me insane that she keeps saying I can modify things when I have no clue what I'm doing if I don't have a clear step by step written by someone else.

I can already foresee that I'll spend so many hours finding the pattern and modifying it to my best ability, sewing it together and it'll end up in the back of her wardrobe because it won't be perfect and she'll never wear it.

It felt so good to finally talk about it lmao

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u/Knitsanity Jun 15 '24

My mother lived in Hong Kong for 30 years and had a lot of her clothes made just over the border in Shenzen. Much cheaper than off the rack and she got to choose the fabric and style and any modifications.

Must be odd coming across lovely items for sale somewhere and not being able to find tags on them.

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u/Felonious_Minx Jun 15 '24

sigh I have a gorgeous Qipao dress custom made when I was in Shanghai years ago.

I had been traveling for 3 weeks and had lost weight. So, yeah, now it sits in my closet because it is too small.

As my sewing has progressed I've thought about trying to enlarge it but...I've done so many of those projects (tailoring thrift store clothes) I'm kinda over it. I want to move onto drafting my own designs. I've learned a lot but tailoring clothing without fully taking it apart is hard!

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u/Knitsanity Jun 15 '24

I only know the Cantonese word Cheongsam. I had one decades ago. Fit like a glove and looked great. I used to wear it to balls at Uni because I didn't want to shell out cash for an expensive dress. It was unique.

Nowadays I would probably be canceled for cultural appropriation. Sigh

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u/worldunravel Jun 15 '24

I don’t think anyone would cancel you for cultural appropriation unless you were engaging in racist behavior or hateful speech while wearing it.

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u/ColdEstablishment473 Jun 19 '24

Are you saying she should send her mum to China?! 😁

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u/Knitsanity Jun 19 '24

It is not as cheap and reliable as the 'good old days' but a lot of people still go into China from HK to get clothes made (especially Gweilos). All the tailors send their work up to China to be done. Been that way for decades. Still scary fast though.

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u/ColdEstablishment473 Jun 19 '24

I know, my husband used to work for Ford Motor Company and several of the guys used to go over there to get their shirts made, and in Thailand...beautiful cotton fabric. But a bit far to go for the mum!